Prostitutes don’t kiss (generally).
I am in no way calling Bay Area Bae a prostitute. Instead I am suggesting the man in question may be using his experience with prostitutes as a reference point.
The man might feel that things like kissing, foreplay, and cuddling, are for someone he is in a relationship with.
So:
Ejaculating inside her vagina: no big deal; happens every day.
A kiss: Jesus, woman! I am not ready for that level of commitment yet!!!
For like the 10th time her on the dope: that is categorically not true. I wasn’t going to comment in this thread, because my experiences are way, way different from what is asked… but still.
In the scene where “love” is for sale, many “clients” and “professionals” will act lovey dovey as an act. It is part of the whole game and before and after sex, there is plenty of cuddling, kissing or even holding hands. It is of course an act, but not every man will want to leave his bubble and might convince himself it is actually for real (to make things really complicated, on very rare occasions it turns out to be real as well).
Just like in the example given in the OP, one of the two parties (most likely the girl) of this business transaction will be uncomfortable* if they think their client is actually meaning all the sweet nothings that are being said. The thing to do is to be very clear that you get what the deal is, but playing around is fun (I typically add that I’m not stupid… which is all I need to say). After that I can play love birds with a girl all we want and laugh at the other girls that are wondering what’s happening.
To summarize: just make a joke about it almost seeming like falling in love and then just say, “phew luckily we’re just playing!”. Or be more serious and say you like all the sweet stuff, but that she shouldn’t read anything into it (“just checking we’re on the same page!”).
*not all girls, some might see the chance of landing a big Fish… where would Eastern Europe be without Western Union.
From what I hear this is also very different in South East Asia; in the Phillipines you apparently only stand a chance if you claim to be looking for a girlfriend, even with working girls. I guess they want to land a “rich foreigner”.
Perhaps he’s just not that into kissing. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with it being casual sex.
He is not attentive in other areas, not enough to really make up for no kissing.
Damn… apologies, my post doesn’t make much sense… I thought I was in Shakes’ thread about being too cuddly with a FWB.
Ahem, here I’m not too sure what I would do.
Strangely enough the “don’t care about kissing” thing seems to be somewhat culturally determined. From speaking with many guys about what they want from sex, it’s mostly men from North America, England and… well North Africa/Turkey that don’t like or need kissing. Unlike the Belgians, Germans, French, Dutch, Italians, Scandinavians, etc.
Sorry about the duplicate post!
No, I don’t thinkk he is worried about any issues he has. He’s very confident, which I think is part of the issue. I don’t think he’s ever been with a woman who spoke up about what she wants or what feels good. Did I forget to mention there’s a 10 year age difference? 
Very good point! Yes, he comes to my home and I think we both just are wanting just the physical aspect of it and know that there’s no one thinking, now that we have had sex, your my boyfriend/ girlfriend.
I’m a non-committal type, and a woman. No kissing would be a non-starter for me. That’s how getting into my bed starts, end of line. It’s the first gauge of a man’s health, interest in me, experience, and attention level to me - what he does with his hands and how well he kisses are all good indicators of whether he’s going to be attentive if it goes further. If I’ve met someone in a bar, you bet kissing will take place before we leave the bar together.
I try to avoid the co-worker thing, that can get awkward - the only exception I’ve made was when the co-worker was a seasonal temp, and whoo, he was worth the exception! Even with that, you bet there was a make-out session after an after-work drink outing before it went further. I just can’t imagine letting a man take my clothes off without the makeout thing happening first. To me, that’s really weird.
I can only think of one dude who was totally sad in the sack, and he was not so great on the kissing front either. I was considering him possible boyfriend material (was fun to hang with socially) so I tried looking past that figuring with some instruction he could improve and it may become a non-issue. Nope. Couldn’t follow instruction, either. What a dud. Slept with him twice and broke it off.
I’m male, I’ve had NSA relationships — one-night and long-term — and can’t imagine having sex without kissing. OK, I can imagine it, but I’d prefer not to experience it.
If this guy answered your request for kissing with a peck, and if he’s inattentive in other areas as well, I’m thinking he just might not be good in bed.
Then I think it’s as stringbean says: he’s a shitty lay. He also sounds like an arrogant asshole. A willing, not-unattractive woman like you can do MUCH better.
Agreed! Life is too short for bad, no-kissing, inattentive sex!
Your post especially doesn’t make sense if you’re referring to my link thread. At no point does anyone make mention of prostitutes and intimacy.
In out and done and no effort to please you and no commitment? Sounds to me like he’s found a way to get himself off without having to pay a prostitute.
But I’m a woman, and you didn’t ask for my opinion.
I have always kissed a woman if I’m being intimate with her, regardless of our relationship status. It would feel weird and distant if I didn’t. Did you try to kiss him? Did you ask him to kiss you?
I have always kissed a woman if I’m being intimate with her, regardless of our relationship status. It would feel weird and distant if I didn’t and I’d expect I would feel the same way about an encounter with a prostitute. Did you try to kiss him? Did you ask him to kiss you?
Uhh … well that’s not a very sex-positive attitude.
Slut shaming is even more sad when it comes from your own fucking gender.
So has she. What’s your point?
Well put Shakes! Couldn’t have worded it better! Yes, it’s totaly on me to voice my feelings on the subject. Look forward to reading the thread you posted.
Agreeing with those who say that if he’s simply a bad lay - kissing or no kissing - you should up and find yourself another bedfellow.
Having said that, some of us fellas need - hell, some of us fellas want - a little guidance. So if you think there’s at least a chance that he might be amenable to that sort of thing, you could try subtly prodding him, or not-so-subtly instructing him and ordering him around a little bit. If it works, yay, good for you, enjoy the ride! If not, and the sex remains subpar, then walk away and don’t look back.