Man, I can’t believe I have to ask this. I feel like such a teenager. I thought I had figured everything out by now. (this is kind of amusing actually.)
Anyyway, so if you’re having sex with somebody and it’s supposed to be a “Friends with benifits”" type thing; In other words no real comitment going on between the two of you; S/he says in the throws of passion: “Make love to me.” Should you STOP right then and there (asuming you didn’t love him/her) and be like “Whoa, wait a minute. This is a casual thing, right?”
People actually use that phrase? How embarrassing for them.
Had it been me I likely would have said “sorry, that one’s not in my repertoire” or something equally cheesy just so it wasn’t hanging there, unchallenged. Ick, it creeps me out just thinking about it though, so I don’t envy you the experience.
Heh. You damn near took the words out of my mouth. If someone said that to me, they might as well toss a bucket of ice down my pants.
As to the OP, if it had been me and my fuckbuddy said that, I don’t think I could have kept from laughing. I’m a gal, though, so make of that what you will.
Maybe you should broach the subject later, in sort of a joking manner. It’s always good to know where you stand in such arrangements and make sure things aren’t progressing into undesirable territory.
There’s the key - if I took seriously everything my missus said during her more passionate moments I’d not only be looking at a looooong time in purgatory, but more than likely facing several federal indictments
Frickum Frackum! Argghhhh… The jaded people we have here!
I hate to get on my high horse here, but the selfishness and general indifference that people display in this sport fucking thing seems to belie some genuine issues. Why must intimacy and intimate speak or an utterance of something a bit more tender be a turn-off or off limits? How can one disconnect themselves and sterilize this act of emotion so thoroughly?
I believe this bespeaks genuine guilt and loathing and a conflict over your intentions. You want the sex but you don’t want the responsibility. Well, this act has deep meaning no matter how you try to rationalize it. There are consequences for the fucker and the fucked. So you better stop it with the casual sex bullshit…there is no such thing.
And Urban Chic and Belladonna I believe that you are cruel and heartless. Why would you laugh or get creeped out at someone’s heart felt request and feelings during the most intimate act? Has sexuality become so barren of meaning that it’s no more than a bodily function to you and on par with pinching one off???
In a loving relationship I’d vote for the intimacy of the utterance “make love to me.” And occassionally “FUCK MY BRAINS OUT!!” Depends on the level of passion at the time. And actually one could lead to the other.
In a casual relationship, the one thing I wouldn’t want to hear is “I love you.”
This act has deep meaning to you. Not everyone sees sex as some deep, emotional bonding. That doesn’t mean these people see it as a sterile act, either. There is a gray area, you know.
Just because you don’t beleive in casual sex, that does not mean it doesn’t it exist. Obviously it doesn’t work for you. It’s incorrect to say it’s bullshit.
While it’s somewhat true, I am cruel, heartless and evil (I know you didn’t say that, but I’ll give you a bonus), I just haven’t had sex with anyone who uses the term ‘make love’. I find it funny, partly because it’s so dated, but mostly because it’s foreign to my ears.
[CUE THE BARRY WHITE ] But Baby, I’ll turn you out and make sweet, sweet love to you. I’ll cover you in red rose petals and massage you with sweet smelling unguents and oils. The smell of our tender passion will perfume your soul and the gods will dance naked in our LUV incense… I will caress your body and realize you like a blind man…remembering every curve, every smooth silken crevice and round, sightless but seen. I will write an epic poem immortalizing your climaxing visage…[/CUE THE BARRY WHITE]
If I were to say something along the lines of “make love to me” in a casual sex relationship, it would probably mean something more like “I don’t want it rough, or dirty, or kinky this time; let’s do it soft and sweet.” It wouldn’t mean anything beyond that - not an avowal of love or any other feelings.
