I think step one of the tater reorgainisation plan is to stop drinking so much Riesling (and Rioja and Cabernet and Amarreto…) The sun is shining today! It’s too bad I can’t go out and enjoy it (as my poor angel baby is sick) but I can at least see it through my window.
For the people who questioned whether or not a divorce was really necessary, yes I think it is. I really don’t want to go into details, this is going to have to be something y’all trust me on. I have’t made this decision lightly or gladly, and it does kill me that TinyTot will be devastated by this. My only comfort is in knowing that staying would be worse for the two of us in the long run.
The depression? Certainly it is a factor, but I think if anything I’m depressed because of the circumstances rather than in these circumstances because of the depression. I do think it has clouded my judgement in certain matters, so getting treatment is priority number one.
Oh my, now I’m blushing at the nice things some of you have said about me. Makes me feel grand, since my self esteem has been in the gutter ever since Russell Crowe called me a wheeze and Jude Law said I was mean, both on the same day!
I think you are all cool beans, too.
Oh, and Beth, looks like I am going to have to make a trip to Tennessee to get this all taken care of…so, if they say I can do it from any county I will make my way down to the county of Knox. Can we go to Dollywood?
Oh, and Clogster, you said anything I want, ask? Well there’s a certain pair of oversized wooden shoes in the town of Lisse…and I’ll need new photographs of all my friends to decorate my new place…
You’re smart enough to know that what you’re doing needs to be done. You’ve got plenty of time to set the world on fire - and you’ve gt the drive, the brains and the charm as well. Not to mention that you’re basically one of the nicest human beings I’ve ever had the pleasure of coming across. So: Stay tough and get through the turbulent times ahead - I completely trust you to do the right thing.
You don’t need advice from me - you know what you’re doing and why. Good idea to get a pro to back you up if you’re depressed, though.
I’m so sorry that things are going this way for you, but remember … when you decide to take control of your life, things do get better. Tack into the wind, weather the storm and you’ll come out a better person for it on the other side.
And you know we’re always here for you if you need us.
We don’t know each other well enough yet for me to initiate foot-butt contact, but here are my two pfennigs:
You tell us that you’re leaving a bad marriage despite your husband’s objections and a child, that you’re seeking help for depression, that you’re asking your family and friends for help – any of which many lesser mortals have failed to do even when shown in red flashing neon letters that it was the best course of action – and you want to know where the girl who was going to set the world on fire is?
Honey – you just lit the match.
Changing one’s life for the better, especially in such a radical way and especially in the face of depression (and yes, I’ve been there – my family’s curse too), is a hard path to walk. That you’re taking it shows that you’ve got courage – now just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I shall do my best not to disappoint you. And don’t nobody say I should do these things for me…DUH, I knew that.
Today’s big project is figuring out how to get a cell phone. I’d imagine there is a store for that sort of thing, so as soon as TT’s father comes home, it’s off to find the phone store I go!
Yes, and appt. has been made. I’m feeling so flush with accomplishment today, I might even make a dentist appt.!
I, of course, don’t know any of your circumstances, except what you’ve posted.
I trust that you did not make this decision lightly, and know that you took your son into account of course.
I left a miserable marriage 15 years ago. it took about 6 months before the last feeling of despondancy left, and I started again feeling hopeful (of course, I wasn’t able to see a therapist or anything like it at the time).
If it’s the right decision for you, you’ll begin to feel better.
Not a few think this is one of the right things for you to do at the moment and do bring Nicholas if that seems like the right policy under the circumstances.
Trash-Men, A’dam is definately on the will try my darndest to make list, however as much as it pains me to say this little things like buying food and shelter have to come first. One thing MisterT is right about: I do need to learn how to manage money wisely.
Plus, it’s not just the money…sigh. I think you all know what I mean.
Wring, seeing that you posted made me burst out in laughter! This thought popped into my head: “I wonder if she’s come to make sure she gets her toaster in the property settlement?”
I forgot to answer this:
Beth must you rub it in that you are constantly stealing the affections of my various bitches, lackeys and celebrity man meat? Hello?!?! Low self-esteem day!
Thanks everyone for the encouragement and advice. I expect you’ll be mailing the spare change?
Almost all break-ups are hard. But your veiw is a little askewed when you’re sad. I’m sure you’ve lit some of the world on fire. My advice, stick to the basics and do what’s in front of you. Don’t try to change your whole life in a day, 'cause that’s a pretty big order. To quote from my people, ‘Take it one day at a time’. You’ve got a pretty large support group here to help you.
Here I can help. Go to the mall!!! I can’t walk through any mall in Southern Cal without passing 2 booths offering ‘free’ cell-phones:d:d
Sounds like you’re going through some pretty tough times, tater, but even in this thread your humor pops in. One of the impressions I’ve gotten from your postings on the board is irrepressible sense of fun. That can take you a long way in life.
Although it may seem like a step back on the road to independence, keep in mind that it’s a temporary step. There is nothing wrong with letting people help you.
Also, I know how you feel about being away from friends. I moved about seven months ago by myself to place where I knew absolutely no one. My nearest friends are five hours away. I haven’t made any friends here (yet), not the kind I can call up and just talk or go to the movies with. I am not an outgoing person or someone who makes friends easily. I’ve made an effort to get involved in some activities, and I’m still getting to know people. The SDMB has actually been helpful in keeping me from being too isolated.
You’re in the process of making some difficult changes in your life, and I’m sure that you will set the world on fire.
There’s nothing more sad than a depressed tatertot - all cold and smooshy, sitting forlornly in a corner of the paper plate, marinating in the cole slaw juice. My advice to you is this:
Straighten up and wipe that mayo off your butt! Jump back into the deep fat fryer until golden brown! Firm on the outside, warm and tender on the inside, that’s what you should be! Accessorize! Shake on a little salt, lightly cover yourself in ketchup and mustard! March right over to the center of the plate and stand proudly next to the chili dog! It’s your turn to be in the spotlight now! No ordinary spud, are you! You are the very epitome of potatodom! The pinnacle of sub-terrainian tubortown! Solanum extraordinaire!
Cause, um, you know, that’s what tatertots do best.
Tater, In reading your letter I understand the pain you are feeling. You know the pain I’ve been through. All I can say is fight it. I read something the other day, it said," To the world, you are one person, to one person, you are the world". Hang in Tater, fight like hell.
Oh no! tater’s in a state and I’ve missed it all this time. Sorry dear, I’ve been a little out-to-lunch lately. Just know I’m willing to provide whatever emotional support you need. And I’m sure that goes for the wife too. If you wish to write me for a more in-depth discussion of your marital problems, you have my e-mail.
taty, I am so proud of you for making the tough choice and putting the long-term best interest of your child first. You know you have my full support as well as an invitation to make a side trip to California when you come to the States. We may not have Dollywood, but we do have Muscle Beach - Woo Hoo!!!
And please, please, please try to get to Amsterdam. You can bunk with me for nothing (I’m paying for a room anyway!) and I’m sure we’d all be happy to pitch in for your meals while you’re there. You could use the R&R and the love and company of a bunch of friends.
Besides, treating you there would be small repayment for all the help you’ve been to me lately. Even when you’ve got shit of your own to deal with, you always take time for your friends. It’s only one of the many wonderful qualities that we all love about you. Now it’s time to take time for you, and to let us help!
I wish I could do more, but for now these cyber-hugs will hve to do…
