So I think I used the word “cunt” seven times in my OP. Sorry about that! I was pretty miffed at the time. Still am, but somewhat less so. So I suppose the game plan for now is to document, report all instances, and leave non-inflammatory notes with neighbors? Sounds like a plan to at least have something happen, even if not the immediate eviction that I hope for (which I fully realize, rage and all, is not going to happen).
So what about the murder front? Any ideas on that? I have no conscience.
I think that if I was in your situation, MOL, I might’ve used even stronger language.
I can’t think of any advice to offer that hasn’t already been said, so I’ll just wish you the best of luck.
I’m thinking you should go the Jigsaw route. Drug her and while she’s out cold lock a collar around her neck. Inside the collar is a contraption that will immediately inject lethal poison into her bloodstream *if she ever raises her voice above normal conversational volume again.
*
Normally I’d suggest a bomb but you don’t want to ruin the wallpaper and carpeting. It wouldn’t be fair to blow her head off AND screw her out of her security deposit.
It all depends on how many floors up you live. If you are high enough:
The next time there is screaming, rush in, toss the boyfriend’s daughter out the window, and call 911.
Tell the police that the screaming woman did it, and keep a straight face when they arrest her for murder.
Hook up with the boyfriend every year or so and send the photos to the screamer in prison.
Either that or keep track of your complaints to the police and the landlord, including several demands that the landlord evict the screamer, and then sue the landlord for breach of contract (quiet enjoyment) if the eviction is not made.
Been through it a couple of times with folks living below me.
One liked to rage at his girlfriend, so I routinely called the police. When he pushed the refrigerator over, I called the police who arrested him (he was hauled away in an ambulance, for his girlfriend defended herself with a kitchen knife). The next morning while on my rounds of the holding cells at the courthouse, the fellow begged me to represent him and demanded that his girlfriend be charged for stabbing him. I never saw him again, but later learned that he did time for this.
Another liked to party loudly through the night every weekend, so one morning after a loud night-long party downstairs, I laid my speakers on the floor, played a Chinese opera CD on repeat at full blast, and went off to work for the day. After doing this a few times, they moved. Killed my speakers though.
I’ve had success for clients in similar situations by sending a demand letter stating that if an eviction is not commenced forthwith, the landlord will be sued for breach of contract (quiet enjoyment is routinely read into the contract by judges up here). The downside of this here in Ontario is that bad tenants can drag out the eviction process for a long time, thus the self-remedies in my own two matters despite the landlord moving to evict (he was as frustrated by the tenants as I was, and later needed some help from me with an eviction.)
My long term solution was to move to a chalet in the woods, where the sounds are wolves in the evening, frogs at night, and birds in the morning.
Then stab him to death with the screamer’s kitchen knife, toss the daughter out the window, and have the screamer arrested for double murder. Grab some photos of him before leaving the apartment, photoshop the boyfriend and MeanOldLady together, and send such a shopped photo to the incarcerated screamer every year with a note saying “You’re doing time for murdering someone who is not dead.”
I don’t like that the suggestions require patience. I feel like Homer buying his gun. “But I’m mad now.”
Actually, I’ve calmed down a lot, but I’m still on this. Printed up a nice batch of flyers to be distributed. I kind of feel like a busybody putting notes under people’s doors, but this is a necessary evil. I know my neighbors have heard it (our entire wing has heard if), and if they enjoy sleep, my guess is they’re sick of it too. If this doesn’t get it to stop, people will be thrown from windows.
:rolleyes: :sigh: *Fine. * Just kick her door in and stab her to death with a broken bourbon bottle while screaming, “I’M MAKING IT MY BUSINESS, YOU GIANT CUNTY CUNTMELON OF A CUNT!!!”
Honestly, young people these days… no patience, I swear.
Here’s my plan. Not an instruction manual on kidnapping. Meant only for the purposes of entertainment value.
There are places in South Dakota that are 100 miles from a freeway and 10+ miles from the nearest town or paved road.
Sneak up and chloroform her. The important bit is that she never sees you or knows you’re there. Get her good and drugged up on easily accessible, common drugs. Enough to keep her out of it for a good 8-12 hours. You DO NOT want to tie her up or leave any marks. Throw her in the trunk and drive to one of those spots in South Dakota. Strip her down, pour a bunch of cheap booze down her throat and all over her. Leave her in the ditch in the middle of nowhere. Preferable a spot where you can’t even SEE a house. Drive away.
She wakes up, naked, no clothing, ID or money, in the middle of nowhere. Can’t even see a town or a building. No clue where she is or how she got there. Reeking of alcohol, drugs in her system.
