I accidentally said that I needed to shave my lawn once when I was tired and not thinking. Now, even though I know perfectly well that the correct word is “mow”, I just can’t seem to say that anymore, I always want to say “shave” instead of mow. I even think “shave”. If I don’t want to look silly in front of other people I have to stop and think of the right word before I say it.
Anyone else have some interesting, amusing, silly, disturbing or just plain stupid misspeaks that have become part of your language?
Is it something about lawns? I’ve more than once said that it was getting to be time to vacuum the lawn. Usually I catch it before the words actually hit the air. So there’s just this pause.
I have never come close to saying that we need to mow the floor, however. So the mistake has no parity.
I often use “noon” and “twelve” interchangeably, when referring to the time. So yes, this means I will say things like “It’s noon thirty.” I know that sounds stupid, but that’s the way I think it, and one of my many bad habits is speaking exactly the way I think.
I have a bunch of these, although the only one that comes to mind right now is interchanging “mirror/window” in either direction. MOL, I also say “noon thirty”. I try to think of it as “charming”, rather than “stupid”. But I know.
I have not seen that commercial, apparently we’re too uptight in the U.S. for that, but that was hilarious. I like how she’s holding a bald cat (shaved pussy) just in case you didn’t get all the other innuendo.
You did hit on why I think I keep saying “shave the lawn”. There was some discussion, probably here, about shaving the pubic area and I’m sure someone referred to it as “mowing the lawn”.
I do like the idea of shaving the lawn. I might borrow that.
Because of my old grade-school teacher’s daughter, I now call all marshmallows “marshpies” instead. Whenever I say marshpies around someone who doesn’t know this about me, they look at me funny and then I realize that they’re not party to my internal monologues.
I was once trying to explain something to my husband and, instead of saying, “It’s that way because,” I said, “What it is is…” So that’s become kind of a running joke.
Also, when I let my nickname slip, I often introduce myself as [overly] for short and [overlyverbose] for long.
I sometimes call the dishwasher the washing machine. But isn’t that what it does? It washes, just dishes not clothes. I think it should be perfectly fine to call them both “washing machines.”
I once ordered a slice of iced tea at a restaurant when I wanted both a beverage and dessert.
The server looked blank, I was confused… then we both busted out laughing. So I asked him to bring me a glass of cheesecake.
On that same weekend, I referred to Typo Knig’s relatives as “Aunt John and Uncle Jane”.
Some years later, my mother-in-law, who had come to help out for a week after **Dweezil **was born, told my father-in-law that we had taken the baby to the vet that day. Naturally the doctor was known as the vet in our household for years after that one.