Do you mow your beard ?
“Mow my face” is the way I say it. I also say “mow the carpet” instead of vacuum.
The cold thing is the “refrigigator”. The thing with the paper tape and the number keys is a “calcubator”. On the other hand, lawn maintenance is sometimes “walking the Deere.”
Despite being 1/4 Italian I have yet to grow a mustache, let alone a beard. I think the rest of my genes being Teutonic and Celtic cancels that out, the double X chromosomes help a lot, too.
Back in the 60’s, my cousin’s husband had her to go to the neighborhood garage to have the mechanic clean the spark plugs because the car was running a bit poorly.
She went there and asked to have the spark plugs “washed”.
Her husband tells that story to this day.
I blame GW Bush for my occasional blurting of the term “misunderestimate.”
My mom refers to every Netflix DVD as a “NetFleck.”
AHA! Just last night my wife, originally from Quebec, asked me to close the light when I left the bedroom. Five years together and that’s the first time that construction has come out, but now it makes sense.
O gosh, I’d almost forgotten about Blake and Jackie (Jake and Blackie). Nice couple. My dear parents have a similar problem, as both of them have mildly gender-neutral names.
Worked in an office of a large US pharmaceutical firm where an executive originally from Quebec (a medical doctor whose first language was French) would tell his secretary that he was going out to “make an errand”. I sat next to her and she would just give me a look and we’d kind of chuckle about it.
If I worked directly for him and knew him better I might have found an opportunity to tell him that “go on”, “run” or even “do” an errand would sound better.
“We grow cows” for “We raise cows.”
The friend I said that in front of once gave me a package of “cow seeds” (hand-relabeled milk duds) and her dad still brings it up pretty often.
I was at a wedding reception where the father of the bride did this to his daughter and new son-in-law. “Jen and Dan” became “Jan and Den”.
My older grand-daughter, when she was about 3, fell in love with sushi. She pronounced it “squishy” and that is the generic term in her immediate family, even today.
an seanchai
You meant the wishdosher, of course. Meanwhile I’ll put on my Susan Shocks so I can go feed the EatAnter and the Armoured Dildo. Afterwards I’ll need to wash my teeth and brush my hands.
I grew up with a pair of brothers who lived down the block named Dirk and Eric. My mom would usually wind up calling them Derek and Eric, but us kids had other names for them.
Dirk and Erk.
Hopefully I’m not necro-ing a dead thread but an ill one 
Badly Drawn Kitties
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