OK, it’s my last day at work, so I won’t have a computer no more, but I need advice now while I can get it. As a little caveat, I am happy with my life, and I don’t forsee a change in my lifestyle in the near future and I am not depressed, so that is NOT the problem here.
The problem is I drink a lot. Even amongst my rugby friends and other associates, I get really fucked up. I’ve been noticing some things in the past couple years which, while they don’t scare me per se, just really shouldn’t happen. 1) Blackouts: more and more frequent, more complete, easier to get. 90% of the time I don’t remember shit when I wake up. 2) Hangovers: harder to recover from, need that drink(s) w/lunch to feel whole again. 3)Piss my bed: I got waterproof sheets b/c I went through so many mattresses. It happens weekly. This is the big problem.
I don’t get violent, I wake up with bruises, but usually just from falling down. I don’t know how to drive, so that’s no danger of that. I just wanna find out how to stop pissing my bed. Recently, I make the switch from beer to hard A about halfway through the night and that seems to help problem #3, but contributes to #'s 1+2. I KNOW there are other drunks out there, any body know how to stop pissing the bed, other than total avoidance of beer?
A friend of the family went to AA. He’s a great guy and fun to be around. He doesn’t drink, we know why, he’s not ashamed of it or anything. Apparrently when he first gave up booze, he was getting rid of his stash/supply. He was pouring it down the drain, and laughing hysterically. His wife was afraid the fumes were getting to him (I have no idea if that can happen or not). It wasn’t the fumes- he was just laughing because he used to think he -had to- drink to have fun. I would bet a number of people find the giving up of a damaging vice liberating (even if beforehand they didn’t). I think you know what the best path is Spider, I hope you take it.
They have a pretty cool way of doing their thing, it seems very non-confrontational and non-structured; and very anonymous, which would be important to me. Check it out. I hope you do.
You definitely have a problem and should get help for it. Dying the death of an alcoholic is painful and very very ugly, believe me, I watched it happen.
My dad was an alcoholic, Spider. He wasn’t a violent drunk, he actually was very quiet for the most part. I can’t even begin to tell you how much it broke my heart to watch him die from it, especially after he had been dry for a year. Once the damage is done, there’s no going back.
If all these things are happening to you, hopefully you realize you are an alcoholic. The first step is admitting it.
A friend of mine who was had troubles and was woried about mine asked me to go with him to his meeting once, and I went along, and yes, it was a very warm and supporting thing, but it just wasn’t for me. I mean, those guys had problems, it affected their lives drastically. I’m working my way through school and doing pretty well, I don’t see myself ever reaching that level. I really am comfortable with what I do. I think me at an AA meeting would be something akin to the marijuanna user going to a drug abuse support group (aka Half Baked). Thanks tho.
You should re-read your first post. Peeing your bed, blacking out, waking up with bruises, memory loss, hangovers… and you say you don’t have a problem like “those guys”. Read it again and think about what you just posted above.
Please listen to someone who knows: Get some support–you don not have to kill yourself. You do not have to make a fool of yourself. You do not have to ruin the lives of anyone who may be emotionally bonded with you.
You do have to admit to yourself that you have a problem and you do have to want to eliminate that problem.
Plenty of people out there are willing and eager to help you and it won’t cost you any money at all–visit an AA meeting. You will not have to say a word, if you don’t want to. You will not have to give your name. You do not have to do anything but go and listen—the rest is up to you.
I work on a research project that deals partly with alcoholism. Here are the criteria used for screening:
Alcoholism: CAGE Questions
Have you tried to Cut down on your drinking?
Have you been Annoyed or Angered by others criticizing your drinking?
Have you felt Guilty about your drinking?
Have you used alcohol to steady the nerves or to reduce the effects of a hangover (Eye-opener)?
The last one is considered especially important in diagnosis.
I really appreciate your thoughts and considerations guys, but I know what I do. I drink to excess (way excess, sure) when I do, but I know the time and place for it, and I don’t go to work or class wasted, I don’t slap my girlfriend (or my friends) around, and I don’t touch the steering wheel of a car, sober or drunk. I’m NOT depressed, I am a typical college student. I do well in school, have good friends, and I’m not delusional enough to believe that I can maintain the levels I’m at once I get the standard post-liberal-arts-college I-banking or consulting job.
You guys all deserve medals for your efforts, but they are misguided. I just wanna stop pissing in my fucking bed. That’s all. I am not killing myself, and I don’t make anymore a fool of myself than the next college student.
Sounds too damned familiar to me. Re…x husband, father, boyfriend…etc. Been around plenty of drunks in my life. Gotten that way myself on occasion. Doesn’t sound good to me Spider. Bet you’d answer a big old YES to quite a few of those “How to tell if you’re an alcoholic” questions. Sucks buddy. Cut back now if you can. Why not, what have you got to lose but a pissy bed and a bad headache?
Well, it sounds like your question answers itself. Don’t get so drunk you don’t wake when you need to pee.
Obviously, you’re not going to get help just because a dozen strangers think your description of your drinking is, well, horrifying. So good luck, Spider; I really do wish you well, and am very pleased you’re smart enough not to drive.
Since you refuse to admit you have a problem, then just keep doing what you are doing. Try putting some plastic over the mattress, then newspaper, then towels. In the morning after you have woken up from sleeping in your own urine all night, which is quite natural for someone with your problem, just get the towels in the laundry and roll the rest of it up and put it in the trash. But then again you’d have to make sure you do that before you start drinking.
And make sure the dog is outside, cause he’d use it too.
You may not feel like you drink any more than the other students. You’re young, you all party on the weekend. No one’s getting more drunk or acting worse than everyone else. Typical college behaviour. I used to party a lot in my younger days. I also bartended for years. It gave me a brand new perspective on drinking.
Having a drinking problem does not mean that you drink everyday. It does not mean that you’ve destroyed your life with it. There are certainly a lot of functioning alcoholics out there. I don’t know you well enough to say if you have a problem or not. You may want to ask yourself some questions. Do you have to drink every weekend? Are you comfortable stopping after one drink? Are you able to socialize on the weekend without it? When you and your friends get together, is drinking always part of it? Asking yourself these questions, and giving yourself honest answers will probably help you determine whether drinking is something that you have to do, or something that you can walk away from.
The advice that people have been giving you here is out of concern. Blacking out, unexplained bruises, and peeing the bed are signs of a drinking problem. It’s much harder to assess this yourself when all of your friends are drinking too. You don’t feel abnormal. This is especially so if your parents drink (or drank) every weekend, or quite regularly. What you have to remember is that most people don’t get drunk every weekend, and most people don’t black out.
The advice given here is meant to be helpful, and not judgemental.
Well, since you don’t hit your girlfriend and you don’t drive, I guess that means in your eyes that you dont have a problem. Perhaps this site can help with your peeing problem then.
you posted this info on a public message board, 11 people (and now 12) have suggested that you consider quitting drinking, you reject that since you KNOW that you’re not as bad off as the folks you saw in the one AA meeting.
Ok fine.
Go see a doctor, explain your symptoms. They’ll run some tests and suggest that you quit drinking.
Reject that opinion, too.
Keep pissing the bed and having blackouts and telling yourself that you’re doing fine. keep in mind, tho’ that at any point in time there’s THOUSANDS of college guys NOT passing out, having blackouts and pissing on themselves.
In the meantime, keep in mind that although you’re not beating your girlfriend or driving drunk, that really ISN’T the standard for “good behavior”.
you came to us. you got advice. it wasn’t what you wanted to hear (which, I’m guessing is, yea, dude you’re doin’ fine, probably just some bad water you drank making you blackout and so on, no need to make major changes). up to you now. there’s a lot of other message boards out there you could post the same question to, maybe some one else will come up with the advice you want to hear.
I am worried about you too, but let me make another suggestion:
If you absolutely must drink for recreation, have you considered drinking something besides beer? It might take less liquid to get the desired effect and then cause you to wet the bed less frequently.
I feeling like hitting myself for saying that.
I want to add-
I graduated from college last year and through all four years, I got drunk maybe three or four times.
I always thought it was really sad that college kids thought it was impossible to spend a week-end with their friends and have a good time without getting drunk.
It seems like such a waste. I found other things to do and I had a great time.
Also, you can hang out with your friends who are drinking and not drink yourself- or drink to the point where you get blackouts and memory loss and unexplained bruises and enuresis.
Think about it, hmm?
Spider, were we married at one time because you sound a lot like my ex-husband. He’s been an alcoholic for almost 15 years… he comes from a long line of them. He would drink to the point of blacking out and wake up with bruises too. He woke up with a black eye once. He never pissed the bed but he shit his pants a few times and he tried to piss on the kitchen floor once. He ended up losing his wife, his daughter, his friends, family, etc. He went to AA and quit drinking for about a month and a half and when he realized I wasn’t going to take him just because he went to a few meetings he started up again. He’s in the bar every night after work and every weekend and he’s sloppy ass drunk all the time. It makes me sick.
You may not think you have a problem but you do. A small percentage of college kids get hammered every day/weekend. Yeah, a lot of them go out and party but they don’t drink themselves into the stupor you described. You need help.
I say keep on drinking the way you are if that’s what you want to do as long as you’re not hurting anyone else and as long as your not driving. As for pissing the bed, that’s not going to stop until you quit drinking so much so you may as well go ahead and wear depends to bed and be done with it.
Spider, you just ignore these people. Keep drinking man !! Keep it real !!! Here’s what you do about pissing in bed… right before you go to bed, take one of the empty bottles, jam your dick in it, go to sleep. In the morning, VOILA ! clean bed, and a fresh bottle you can amuse your friends with.