I Pit "Cafe Society" people

Duke’s or Sir Kensington’s. But I actually don’t care.

Can I pit people here who don’t know how to spell “Reuben” as in the sandwich?

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Funny. I really have no opinion on the sandwich or the brand of mayo or catsup.

But, do spell catsup correctly before I get up in arms.

Just wrong.

:upside_down_face:

In Russia, “Cafe Society” people pit you!

This is truth.

I worked for a small city as a contractor for 7 months. (By small I mean they didn’t even have their own law enforcement, they rented a couple of sheriff deputies on rotation.) I worked right out of city hall. The absolute vitriol and passion you’d see over the most petty, inconsequential shit was astounding.

If you ever watched the TV show Parks and Recreation, I swear that could have been a fucking documentary.

Heinz has a variety of ketchup that’s taking up way too much shelf space called SIMPLY, which uses sugar instead of corn syrup. But it’s way too sweet - much sweeter than regular Heinz ketchup.

This thread is so all over the place that I’m giving myself permission to tell my sauerkraut story.

When I was five, my older brother forbade me from riding his bike. But he was in all-day first grade, while I was in morning session kindergarten. So I’d take my chances.

Now, I was much too short to mount his bike in an ordinary way. But by standing the bike up in the gutter and standing myself on the curb, I was able to clamber up onto it and make my wobbly way down the block.

One afternoon, I was wobbling in the street when a car came around the corner and we collided (at a very low speed; don’t worry, your hero does not get smeared into paste at this time). The driver stopped, picked me up, and brought me to my home, where my mother checked me over for serious injuries, and, finding none, sent me to my room to take a nap. I, being rather shaken by the ordeal, was only too happy to comply, and I drifted off to sleep in short order.

(Calm down, the sauerkraut bit is coming up)

A few hours later, Mom tried to wake me up and come to the table for dinner. I didn’t want to stir from my comfortable bed, so I said I wasn’t hungry. She withdrew.

Half an hour later, I woke of my own accord and walked out to the dinner table to have my dinner. Lloyd, Pat, Jerry, Steve, and Ruth (and Dad) had all finished dinner and were preparing for the nightly putting the kids to bed routine. Mom, OTOH, was sitting at the dinner table, calmly scarfing down MY wieners and sauerkraut just because a sleep-addled five-year old had said he wasn’t hungry (well, probably also because she was carrying the beginnings of Joe in her uterus. I swear not a scrap of food went to waste in that house from 1953 to 1972). Well, I was sure hungry now, but there was nothing to be done for it but to go back to bed with no dinner. I cried myself to sleep that night.

In addition, in subsequent years, whenever I wanted (for whatever reason) to bring a genuine tear to my eye, all I had to do was call up the memory of the night I didn’t get to eat wieners and sauerkraut.

All I know about Reuben sandwiches is that their existence annoyed my dad, who on several occasions informed me that in his opinion, a deli sandwich had no business not being kosher. I have nothing more to contribute to this conversation.

Ham on rye must have given him apoplexy.

At least they didn’t give that a Jewish name.

I had vegan mayo once. If you let it warm up just a bit and mix it with just a touch of olive oil, it becomes just thin enough to flush it down the toilet without clogging it.

There are people, a fairly significant number of people I believe, who insist that Kewpie is the best mayonnaise. I’m a little surprised this hasn’t been mentioned yet.

I don’t eat much mayo, so I haven’t bothered to form a strong opinion about varying brands. But I do think “regular” mayo is better than Miracle Whip, which has an oddly aerated texture. However, I’m not sure I could tell the difference (or if I could, I’m not sure I’d care) in a blind taste test of sandwiches made with regular mayo and Miracle Whip.

In other trivia, we don’t have Hellman’s here. The same product, made by Unilever, is sold as Best Foods west of the Rockies.

This brought back old memories.

I started seeing it my regular market a year or more ago. I keep thinking I’ll try it, but the price is high enough that I don’t want to chance hating it.

I beg to differ:

Judging from the tone and execution of this post, your hangover will be legendary.

Enjoy.

I would definitely be able to tell. MW is sickly sweet and just plain icky. Mayo is not sweet.

Miracle Whip is also not mayonnaise; it was conceived as a mix of various salad dressings and was created as a cheap alternative to mayonnaise during the Great Depression.

So it’s literally a low-quality knockoff of mayonnaise. It kind of tastes like mayonnaise if you were to mix mayonnaise with pickle juice and some other weird, nasty shit.

I feel for ya. I do love a hotdog with sauerkraut. And mustard. I would like one right now.


After seeing Kewpie promoted in several YouTube cooking videos, I tried it. Because I have a severe case of FOMO.* I wanted to like it 'cause the Kool Kids like it, but something about it bothered me. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what. Also tried Duke’s for the same FOMO reason, but didn’t like it either. I’ll just stick to Hellman’s. (Won’t touch Miracle Whip!)


*Fear of missing out

Yeah. Roughly speaking, MW is to mayo as margarine is to butter. People’s reactions are similar too: whatever they grew up eating is normal and the other stuff is weird. But MW & margarine are both abominations in the eyes of not only Og, but the FSM too; just say no.


@wolfpup will be so relieved to know this. Shame it wasn’t known a bit sooner. :wink:

I only bought it once, a long time ago (a single purchase of mayo lasts me basically for forever). I didn’t dislike it, but it seemed very, I dunno, unctuous?