So I was downtown this past weekend getting myself a coffee at a Starbucks and asked my wife if she wanted anything. “Just a water, thanks.”
So after paying the ass-rape price of $1.75 for a bottle of water (hey, whataya gonna do?) I looked at the actual bottle of water I was buying. Ethos Water
“Helping Children Get Clean Water” is their motto and their mission.
Well hey, maybe I don’t feel all that bad paying $1.75 for a bottle if it’s going to help clean water needing kids right? I mean, what a great idea. It probably costs them 20 cents a bottle to produce, so that would be $1.55 to a good cause!
Now I’m feeling charitable!
Reading further I find that the oh so generous Starbucks corporation gives a paltry 5 cents to the cause for each bottle sold.
So for the ass-rape price of $1.75 a fucking nickel goes to thirsty kids worldwide.
What an absolute joke. This makes the old adage “Two for me, one for you” sound generous. Starbucks motto should be “Thirty for me, one for you.”
So SUCK IT Starbucks! for attempting to make yourself look so charitable with your Ethos Water sales. Let me know when you can claim “all proceeds go to” on the bottles. Until then stop embarassing yourself with your unapologetic greed.
I actually noticed this on Ethos water too. It’s so obnoxious that they’ve figured out people will spend more on something if they think it’s for charity and then never actually read the fine print. I imagine starbucks is making more for themselves than the thirsty little bastards.
I learned this the hard way purchasing a lipstick compact with a pink ribbon for breast cancer thing on it only to find out that I’m the biggest asshole ever. The best thing to do in these situations is research non profit organizations for yourself and write a check directly to charity. Never use a private company as a middle man. They can’t be trusted.
I refuse to go to Starfucks and spend outrageous prices for a Grande Mocha Whips-and-Chains with extra Wombat Sweat topping or whatever the fuck the yuppie assholes and primadonna bitches are ordering. Give me a Dunkin’ Donuts cup of joe or even White Hen. It’s real coffee, tastes great and won’t require me to take out a second mortage.
And buying water is the height of laziness and pompousness. I found this amazing invention. Have your wife try this.
If you insist on buying a bottle of water you should only have to do it once! Keep the fucking bottle and, OMFG, refill it at a fucking faucet! What a concept!
Bottled water is more expensive than gasoline, regularly fails in taste tests versus tap water and the plastic bottles are fucking up the environment.
You want to help the people who are dying of thirst in other countries? Start at home by not wasting your money on bottled water.
What’s real coffee? You can’t get real coffee at Starbucks?
I get coffee at Starbucks all the time. I doubt anyone would call me a yuppie or a primadonna (bitch otoh…). Sometimes I get coffee at Dunkin Donuts, sometimes at a deli, sometimes at a coffee house and sometimes at whatever fast food place is handy.
In other words, I don’t really put that much thought into where I or anyone else buys their coffee. I guess I’ve got better things to do.
Do you really give yourself extra brownie points because you don’t buy coffee from Starbucks? If so, why do you think not buying coffee from Starbucks makes you a better person? Or do you just think narrow-minded assholes, as a group, rate above other people?
Oh, god, what is with the starbucks bashing? Do you think you’re being clever?
Let me break it down for you and maybe you can understand.
Drip coffee is cheap at starbucks, the last few posts have established this. Why is drip coffee cheap? Because you make it once and serve it to a bunch of people.
Yes, espresso drinks do cost anywhere from 3 to 6 dollars. They also have to be individually prepared.
Even so, we all know we could get those same drinks for 2 bucks at one of the 15 hojillion espresso stands, but we go to starbucks because,
It’s a nice place. You go there to sit and talk. Maybe you hate the atmosphere, but if you’re busy characterizing all the patrons as “yuppie assholes and primadonna bitches” I can see how you’d find it less than relaxing. There aren’t a lot of places you can go and hang out for four hours after only spending four dollars. That is what starbucks is selling, not coffee.