Here, and here (a couple of years old).
Ugh.
I was mentioned in a flirt thread one time. 
I just thought they completely misspelled “elmwood”. It’s not out of the realm of possibility, you know…
Hey, not bad at all 
You have very balanced features, a beautiful white smile, and I do love dark hair on a man! You would look particularly fine in a tux with your dark hair, white smile, and blue – blue? – eyes.
So yes, I would definitely say you’re a cutie. If my opinion matters to you
Oh, boo-fucking-hoo.
The best part? You scream for people to flirt with you, guaranteeing that you can’t trust ANY of the people who respond to be honest with you. “I require validation! I need compliments! I am a sucking hole of need and desperation!”
Of course you’re going to get people saying you’re cute and awesome and bright and desireable and whatever other compliments turn up in here, because Dopers seem all too ready to jump on the validation bandwagon. But…dude. You had to solicit them. You didn’t get compliments and bunnies and happiness until you begged for for them. If you can believe every ego boost you get in here even with the knowledge that you had to ask for them…more power to you.
I find it all pretty fuckin’ pathetic, though.
Fuck you. Just go fuck yourself up the ass with broken glass-encrusted stick, okay?
Nobody will flirt with me otherwise. Nobody will flirt with a lot of us otherwise. That’s why I’m pissed at the world, and pissed at myself.
Thanks for making me feel worse, you fucking asshole.
[qupte]Originally Posted by Hamadryad
Oh, boo-fucking-hoo.
[/quote]
Fuck you. Just go fuck yourself up the ass with a broken glass-encrusted stick, okay?
Nobody will flirt with me otherwise. Nobody will flirt with a lot of us otherwise. That’s why I’m pissed at the world, and pissed at myself.
Thanks for making me feel worse, you fucking asshole.
I can’t even flame this asshole without a typo.
Goddamn it, I’m more fucking worthless than that shithead named after some Indian city or something.
New Delhi?
I quit. I don’t know what to do anymore.
First things first. Um, wow, Hamadryad, what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you go around kicking lame blind homeless puppies, too?
Here’s a newsflash for you – the nice people responding to elmwood are almost certainly not lying, nor are they complimenting elmwood out of mere pity or charity. We’ve all felt insecure and unworthy at times, assuming one is human (and has the balls to admit it), that is. :rolleyes: When someone is unhappy or insecure and needs some encouragement, it is only natural to reach out to him. It’s called compassion. You know, empathy???
(mutters) Cold-hearted dipshit.
Ahem. Now, to Elmwood: please don’t pay attention to some typical message board asshat who apparently takes pride in making others feel lousy. Are you showing everyone your neediness right now? Sure. Is that the worst thing in the world? Hell no. It’s very very human. And it’s actually pretty courageous of you to admit it.
When I saw the first picture I automatically found myself grinning. Why? First of all, you’ve got an engaging smile, good even features, a thick crop of dark hair, and rather striking clear blue eyes. Second, you’ve got your arm around an adorable dog named Bailey, which tells me a) you open your heart to animals (always a plus!) and b) you’ve got good taste in dogs.
The next picture I looked at, you were at some kind of social event sitting at a table. From what I can see at this angle, you seem pretty in shape, wear clothes well (I like the beige or buff-colored shirt you have on) and have chosen an outfit that – while not formal – displays an ability to dress with casual evening style for an event. And again you’re flashing a disarming smile that seems quite natural. I also like that you seem to be among friends and family at a joyful event, so this sends out a “sociable” vibe. That’s a nice touch.
Now, are the women you’re coming across as discerning as I am? Can’t say. But hey, we already know you’re not meeting the right kind of woman! So that’s the first corrective measure you’ve gotta take right there. It’ll help if you can figure out what general qualities in a romantic partner you are looking for, not just wondering what someone should be seeing in you.
I’m assuming you’re not holding out for some perfect model type, and that in addition to generally “attractive” you also value someone who has similar (or at least compatible) intelligence, humor, beliefs and interests to your own. That’s usually what most people want, after all! That said, I second what ShibbOleth says – use your own interests to seek out the company of others, both men and women. (More similar-minded guy friends = more possible introductions to sisters, friends, etc.!)
Go to Meetups, seminars, classes, whatever, focusing on topics that intrigue, educate and/or entertain you. Enjoy yourself without making the “girl-getting” thing the event’s only goal – you’ve gotta take the pressure off yourself (and your prospective date-to-be-named-later). A relaxed but spiritually/emotionally/ or intellectually engaged guy is quite attractive. And this way, even if you don’t click with someone in a single evening/afternoon, you’ll get something worthwhile out of it.
Finally, yeah, skip the flirting threads. I’d imagine your feelings of loneliness and insecurity are especially profound as Valentine’s Day approaches, so this is a rough time to see others being all cutesy wootsy flirty-birty.
Hope you don’t mind the suggestions, elmwood. Good luck!
(And again? Ignore sadistic buzzkilling wankers. They are the truly pathetic ones.)
elmwood , dude, seriously.
If you can’t get chicks while walking that dog, then you’re doing something seriously wrong.
You’re a good-looking fella, though; come on over, big boy. I could use a man like you.
Oh, and Hamadryad is named after an elfy-nymphy SF/fantasy-type deal. Hyderabad is named after a dancer who caught the eye of a king from the Qutub Shahi dynasty.
Stop being a bitch. He isn’t soliciting compliments; he merely feels, somewhat justifiably, that he’s been overlooked. If you were fat, ugly, had a speech impediment, or low self-esteem, and said so in a thread, we’d say nice things to you. Mostly they’d be true. Some of it would just be stuff we needed to hear. I hereby resolve to agree that you are fat, ugly, have a horrible speech impediment, and low self-esteem whenever you feel like you are.
Like you do, even.
elmwood - You may not recall, but I tried to flirt with you in your match.com thread - I even wished you a happy birthday (although I kept making that typo in your name and calling you elwood). You ignored me - or more likely, didn’t notice. I wonder how much attention you might not be picking up on. If you want attention, you have to play the game. No one wants to try to flirt with you and then get ignored.
I thought you were a great guy then and a great guy now (if a little pre-occupied with some rather shallow things like height, income, and weight - I think your pre-occupation with these things is a bigger turn off than your perceived shortcomings in these areas).
But for what it is worth, I follow your threads. I care. 
Hang on just a second here.
Pitting these threads about flirting is not a bad idea at all. After the first 1500 or so of them have passed by I can see how people get a bit sick of them.
But to pit these threads becaues YOU were not included? I agree with Hamma here. Boo fucking Hoo! What a sniveling whiner we see here.
And shame on all of you that jumped on her for being honest about it. If Elmwood had wanted a pity party this was probably not the right place to ask for one.
I know it’s been said before, but this is a Message Board - a place for fighting ignorance and exchanging ideas. Not a online popularity contest or a place for self-indulgent “poor me-isms”.
Dude. If I rolled my eyes any farther, they’d likely fall right out of my head.
A few thoughts:
You seem to have a lot going for you (nice-looking, intelligent, successful—or successful enough) so I don’t think that’s the problem. Perhaps you are letting off some weird “vibe.” Most of us are completely oblivious to the “vibes” we let off, even if we 100% believe we are behaving normally or as expected.
I am not included in these flirt threads (though I never check—but I cannot fathom that I would be included). I never let it bother me. Some people are “flirty online” types, some aren’t. I’m not. Perhaps you are not either.
I think that it’s a pretty bad idea to pit something like this, just because you feel excluded. No one is deliberately slighting you. If they were, that would be a different story, but they’re not. Their happiness, flirting with each other in a silly way, is taking nothing away from you. It has nothing to do with you. They are not trying to exclude you. No more than they are trying to exclude me. We all can’t be a member of everything, or included in everything. They aren’t thinking, “Let’s make yosemitebabe and elmwood and all these other losers feel bad by not including them.” They are not thinking of us. Nor should they feel obligated to do so.
It kinda reminds me of some youthful friends who’d bitch about how so-and-so spent so much money on clothes, or how she was a bitch because she had the audacity to express some happiness over a new purchase in front of them. I think that is the pettiest thing ever. If someone is having a ball, enjoying something, be happy that they are enjoying it. Don’t wish for their enjoyment to stop, simply because you aren’t a part of it. Make your own enjoyment, ask to join in on theirs (if appropriate), but don’t wish that their fun would stop.
Thinks2Much also brings up a good point. Are you sure you are being ignored or neglected? Maybe you’re just oblivious. And also, make sure you aren’t setting your sights on a supermodel type either. (I don’t get the impression that you are.) I dunno, I sort of get a weird “vibe” from you when it comes to women’s appearance but maybe I’m wrong.
Hmm, so many emotions, so many thoughts rolling around in my head (which is not as empty as it sounds); like elmwood, I’ve been here a long time, and have never been noticed in any of the popularity threads. It bugs me a little (I try to be a good poster, give good advice, not be a jerk, etc.), but it’s just an online community, after all. My self-esteem is not based on being flirted with in flirt threads here. I feel a little sorry for myself once in awhile, too, like when I post something incredibly witty and well-thought out and written, and it is completely overlooked (usually with someone making the same point a couple of posts later). We probably all have our moments of “why me?” Or more accurately, “why not me?”
Dude, you’ve got a lot going for you, but if you emailed me and I caught a whiff of this self-pity, you’d be over before you began. Not saying you do this, but that might be what women are picking up from you. When I was doing the online dating thing, this is exactly why I dumped one guy who was otherwise a fairly good match - his comments and attitudes were very negative, and it was a big turn-off.
As for Hamadryad’s harsh response, this is the Pit, after all. If you don’t want your ass tanned, don’t post here. It’s not like she came in and dumped all over an MPSIMS thread.
I think so , too, Elmwood, but of course, I don’t count, 'cause I’m also married. (Still think your eyes are you best feature.)
elmwood, I’ll be perfectly honest with you.
I have absolutely no idea who you are. Most people have no idea who you are. It’s nothing personal.
It’s funny how things work out. I’m not necessarily popular here, sometimes it seems like I’m more notorious than anything else. I started out badly (and I mean BADLY), just another jerk, and then I joined the military, got married, had a kid, met some people here, developed a “reputation” in the political threads, and so now I’m somewhat well known. To some people I’m their best friend, and to others I’m their mortal enemy. Is that what you want? Do you want everything you post to be looked at with polarized eyes? That’s inevitably what happens.
Given my experience, it’s probably a good thing you’re not well known enough to get mentioned in the foofy threads, because you’d have to do something to make people remember you first, and that is rarely a good thing.
True. Elmwood, I don’t have an opinion about your profile per se; I haven’t looked at it. I know I’m short, so if a guy is shorter than me, he’s pretty darn short. And I’ve dated guys who weren’t much taller than me, and guys who were more than a foot taller than me; I’ve dated guys who made less than a front-desk receptionist, and guys who made twice what I did. Honestly, to me boasting about one’s high income is a far bigger turnoff even than being genuinely broke, as long as the broke-ness wasn’t part of a continuing pattern of irresponsibility. I’d much rather have a poor guy with a big heart than a billionaire with no empathy. And I know from experience how difficult it is not to become despondent when it’s been a while since you’ve been in a relationship, let alone a positive one. But several of us have tried to say “hey, we’re single, and we’re women, and we couldn’t care less how much money you make or whether you are the Jolly Green Giant, as long as you treat us respectfully.”
I think you’re missing some signals, and unfortunately the negativity does peek through. Negativity is a major turnoff for me, and for a lot of other women.