Yes, I just wanted to vent. I’m not bothered by people’s opinions, I know you all don’t know the whole story. I have not once said I didn’t do something rash and I DO regret it. I just think the way this man acted was hurtful and childish. Why do everything you can to convince someone you’re “the one” and that you love her when deep down you’re unsure? Why not just say, “Hey, I like you but I don’t know what I want?” But the part that really gets me is that he KNEW how devastated I was by the whole situation but still chose to make his FWB request. I’m sorry, but who does that?
Who does that? Guys that are jerks.
I didn’t do any of that. I made a general statement about the wisdom of dragging a child across the country to be with someone you barely know. No one with any sense would say that’s a good idea. That’s not a moralistic statement nor does it contain any attempt at psychology. It’s basic common sense. I’m just stating the obvious. There are also several other people in this thread who said that before I did, so why am I being singled out for it?
The guy IS a jerk. I’m not disputing that.
You said exactly that, just a few posts above.
I said exactly what?
For the record, my son was only in NYC for about a week. He spent the summer with his father, to him it was just a trip to see the Statue of Liberty and ride on the subway. And his development hasn’t been stifled by any of this. Not sure why anyone would think that… I happen to be a great mother and everyone who has ever seen me with my child has said that. He is my first priority, but I will not revolve my entire life around being just his mother. I deserve more than that.
I’m going to ignore the ongoing slap-fight and just offer you a piece of advice, thegirlwholived, as the child of a single mother who dated a lot before eventually remarrying. And that is, please wait until the relationship is really advanced and preferably in the serious commitment stage, before introducing the guy to your kid. It kind of sucked when I was little, forming these attachments with a string of guys who never seemed to last for long. I don’t think it was deeply traumatizing or whatever, but it would have been nicer to avoid that.
I definitely would never say that you shouldn’t date, or meet guys. Just be very particular about choosing when to let them meet your kid. And good luck avoiding future douchetards.
MsWhatsit, I’ve learned my lesson. This was the first man that I dated that I allowed to meet my child and will be the last until I know FOR SURE that the guy is committed. To be fair, no matter how short the relationship may have seemed to some, I thought he was committed.
Who suggested that it was a good idea?
Evidently everybody who’s upset with me for saying it’s not a good idea.
I was mostly annoyed that you made assumptions about the situation like I’m young (I’m in my 30’s) and that it was an “internet crush” when I clearly stated that wasn’t what it was.
I never said anything about your age (though 30’s is young to me anyway), and you’re the one who said you only knew the guy for 5 months on the internet.
Actually, I said we knew each other in high school and reconnected at a reunion. I then said we talked for a few months before starting to date (long distance) for 5 months then I moved there.
Same difference. Still a rash thing to do with a kid, as you’ve acknowledged yourself. That’s not a moral judgement, just a statement of common sense.
She did not say she only knew the guy for 5 months on the internet. You made up the whole “internet crush” bullshit to fit your premature psychological analysis.
Do we need to open another 10 page Pit thread for your to admit a mistake?
She said she knew the guy for 5 months “long distance.” What the fuck is the difference? Does that make her decision any less rash?
Seniority?
Dio, this is one of those times when you need to just let it go.
I’m happy to.