Because you told us you moved your son to New York City so you could be with some guy. That implies to us that your child was moved 1500 miles away from where he previously lived.
Glad you learned your lesson, though. It sucks, but a lot of folks need to make mistakes to learn.
First, he wasn’t just “some guy”. I genuinely thought it was serious. We talked about getting married next year, we talked about the life we were going to give my son and share together. I didn’t think I was going to be moving back so soon, and I also didn’t think it was terrible to move with my son, especially since he isn’t in school yet. I’m pretty sure people move with children all the time.
Second, I didn’t make the decision to move lightly. I honestly thought about it, wanted to start over (I’m not happy where I currently live) and happen to love NYC. If I had found a job and had the means to stay I would have.
My whole rant was that I feel like he was dishonest about his intentions. How was I supposed to foresee this? He never gave any indications that this wasn’t what he wanted. He was perfectly comfortable with my son from the moment they met. We talked about parenting techniques and had very similar ideas about how to raise a child. He was adamant that he loved us both and wanted a life together. When he finally raised his concerns and doubts to me, it was after I had already moved. Maybe I didn’t see signs that I should have, but I replay everything over and over and can honestly say he was very convincing and I believed him when he said he loved us and wanted to make a life together.
If it had worked out it would have been a great love story, and maybe that’s my problem because I truly thought it was going to be just that.
Did you move in with him right off the bat?
I don’t care how “rash” her decision was. You stated something that was factually incorrect. That you can’t man up and admit it is exactly why you get Pitted about once a month.
You never learn.
Wow, ummmm, I have a friend who is going through this almost exact same situation. She knew the guy in jr. high and met him again at a reunion last year. She too moved to NYC with her young son after a short time, who was also with his father for the summer, so only spent a couple of weeks in NY. After a month and a half it was obviously not working, so she left to come home. He came to see her after three weeks, they got back together, she went to see him, she got back home and he dumped her. Needless to say, she’s heartbroken.
I’m sorry this happened to you TGWL. 
I believe Richard’s assessment reasonably explains what the guy was thinking – or not thinking, as the case may be.
girlwholived, any time a guy does something difficult to understand, it typically involves sex, alcohol, and/or testosterone.
Given what you’ve said, consider yourself lucky that you found out what he’s like after so short a time. You and your son are FAR better off without him in your life. Good luck with recovering from this.
She didn’t say that either.
After he dumped you the first time, you got back together with him again and visited him? I’m a little less surprised about the FWB request now…
That’s not what she wrote, even if it is what you read.
Well, that is pretty much what she said at first. Every time people questioned her, she supplied more information which wasn’t there in the beginning and then acted surprised that we hadn’t assumed those details right off the bat, even though they weren’t provided.
Yeah, other than the reunion. And the years of school.
She “knew” him in high school, not she dated him or anything more than acquaintance.They “met up” at the reunion - doesn’t sound like a very long relationship that night. Basically, what she wrote sounded like what most of us surmised from it. Later she clarified it. Dio for a change wasn’t off base with what he wrote at the time he wrote it. You don’t move your child in with a dude after 5 months of long-distance dating, which is how she first presented it.
And if it’s wilted, throw it back on the shelf!
I’m a little surprised to discover that there are apparently dozens of men conning single mothers into moving to New York. Isn’t there plenty of local tail?
girlwholived, welcome to the Dope, and best of luck.
Moving yourself and your child 1500 miles with no job and no commitment from your boyfriend is making the decision lightly.
And no, talking about marriage is not commitment.
I am glad you are out of it with as little damage as this. Next time, for the sake of your son, see if you can learn from this, ok?
Regards,
Shodan
Heeeeere we go…
Huh?
We’ve been “going” ever since post #25; the first time someone made a post that responded to something that Dio said.*
I know, I’ve been following along. I was just picking out the one that made me :smack: with the highest degree of velocity.
The second life lesson to emerge from this thread. Do not concuss yourself and then post. It leads to horrible, non sequitur, would-have-been-useless-two-pages ago posts.
I hope the young lady who everyone is blaming had, at the least, some moments of happiness, bliss, and maybe even ecstasy during her stay in New York before the Beast cut her legs out from under her. She deserves some good memories to mitigate the bad ones.
Remember, thegirlwholived, life itself is a learning experience; I’ve lived seventy years now and unlike some on this board, I don’t know everything and won’t pretend I do. I am pretty sure, though, that you’ll get past this experience.
Good luck to you.