Dear Mr. Mubarak:
You are a very inconsiderate person.
There. You can stand up to your own people in the street, but now you have been Pitted on the Dope. Soon you will fall! 
All, please feel free to supplement with your own expressions of dislike or disregard as to Mr. Mubarak’s character.
But but but…He’s 82 years old! He’s given his life to Egypt!
Plus, he SWEARS that this fall, he’ll retire and not run for re-election in a totally rigged election like the last however many times around!
Why are you so down on this totally sweet little old man?
Dear Mr. Mubarak
You are quite the dictator
People even say so from around the equator
Your policies are bunk and hogwash bang-drivvle
You’ve even outlawed the fermented kurpiffle
Your government is corrupt and your economy floundering
It’s really no wonder that Cairo is rioting
So, why oh why do you stick to your post?
I think this is what bothers your people the most
Please oh please resign Mr. Mubarak
Or else I hope you get eaten by a three-horned gishsmoobarak.
I’m watching live coverage now - Richard Engel and Brian Williams on a balcony above Tahrir Square. Pro-Mubarak supporters have been firing at anti-government protesters, and both Engel and Williams say that they and their crew were attacked by pro-Mubarak supporters today.
According to numerous sources, some of the armed pro-Mubarak forces are police in civilian clothing.
Mr. Mubarak, you are a thug, and your people are in revolution.
Frankly, I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten nastier than it’s been. I thought it would be an all-out bloodbath by now.
I certainly hope it doesn’t get any nastier.
There are fears (well-grounded, it seems) that the pro-Mubarak forces are going to return to the Square tomorrow with more forces and more weapons. They’ve been driven out by the anti-government forces right now, but the live broadcast I’m watching is taking place against a background of ongoing gunfire. The two reporters say that it seems to them that most of the gunfire is coming from the pro-Mubarak side.
This is going to be ugly, ugly, ugly. This seems to be one of those historical events that you can’t believe you’re watching.
Plus his people hurt Anderson Cooper who had to hole up in an Egyptian building for a while. This being Groundhog Day I just hope that when he comes out he doesn’t see his shadow or else we’ll have six more weeks of school bullying reports.
Of course I can’t completely blame Hosni for Anderson getting hit in the head: the one good thing about political street riots on another continent from the one you’re on is that they’re really easy to avoid.
There once was a man named Mubarak.
Ok, I did the first line. Someone else take if your there!
I don’t know. He seems like one of the better Egyptian rulers to me. You don’t see him forcing his people to build a gigantic tomb for him like some of his predecessors did.
Who wanted to take Tahrir square back (hey, I’m not very good at this)
He sent in the camels
I’m watching MSNBC’s live coverage. Williams was just reporting hand-to-hand combat on the bridge near the square. Now there is more heavy gunfire. They are saying it appears the military is firing warning shots. This is getting really bad, really fast.
Sunrise is coming soon; it’s 5:20am so maybe an hour and a half at most?
Let’s hope this is Mubarak’s last sunrise in power, if not in Egypt.
With daggered enamels
But the people said “give him the sack!”
The pyramids were built by free contract labours, not slaves. They were basically public works projects designed to give the unemployed jobs. And don’t worry. Very soon a bunch of nice men with guns will meet with His Excelleny and put an already drawn up letter of resignation in front of him. He can either sign it or continue ruling Egypt untill the day he dies. 
Why do you all hate Egypt??
-XT
Dear Mr Mubarak,
Thank you for your communication
We hear you, we understand where you’re coming from but regret to inform you it just isn’t going to work. You’ve had a very good run. You’ve been very helpful, and of course this is not necessarily a co-incidence.
You’d have to agree that your democratic model has never really been all that democratic.
But naturally we played along becauce, well right wing dictators are so much more practical, amenable, and just fundamentally more our kind of people than left wing dictators.
You’ve got to admit, we’ve sold you some very nice hardware over the years and the odd truckload of readies has kept your family and friends well supplied with trinkets and chattels.
Yes, you’ve been ever so helpful with our extraordinary rendition requirements. As you saw with Abu Ghraib, it’s not really our long suit and we certainly don’t have the stomach for the attendant bad publicity.
And it would be remise not to acknowledge that any country willing to allow their leader get locked up in talks with Jimmy Carter for 13 days is a remarkable civilisation.
But when it comes down to brass tacks your army is crap 'cause the Israelis whooped your ass in 6 days and you don’t have any oil.
Don’t leave a mess when you go.
Thank you.
ALL RIGHT, NEXT PLEASE
As far as I can see, he seems to need more time to empty the office supply cabinet at the presidential palace. He has lots of grandkids who need school supplies.
I give him to Friday for a reasonable exile. After that, I say we string the fool up.
Send in Jimmy Carter! Sure, maybe he can’t do anything, but maybe he can, and you know he’s waiting by the phone, bags packed, ready to go…
I wonder how many Nigeria-type scams have been borne out of the turmoil.
REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND ‘TOP SECRET’. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.
WE ARE TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL IN EGYPT WHO ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN EGYPT DUE TO CIVIL UNREST. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS BUSINESS WE SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THE SAID TRAPPED FUNDS.
WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSATION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER USING THIS EMAIL ADRESSS. I WILL SEND YOU DETAILED INFORMATION OF THIS PENDING PROJECT WHEN I HAVE HEARD FROM YOU.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
PRESIDENT HOSNI MUBARAK
NOTE; PLEASE QUOTE THIS REFERENCE NUMBER (VE/S/09/99) IN ALL YOUR RESPONSES.