I think it’s going to take 3 more days to get an accurate account of what actually happened.
Like I said before, you have to coax the story out of this guy. It could be a big clue as to why he was left in the first place.
Who said what was out of order? And what do you mean by “out of order”? The cab? The vending machine you were using? You were in a courtroom and the judge said “it” was out of order? Who is the “it”?
He said no to what?
If you explained yourself better in the first place you wouldn’t have to keep coming back to explain yourself.
I don’t see how hard it is to follow.
I ask best friend if we should share a cab so we can go home, he says yes.
After we finish work me and friend go to petrol station which has store attached to it.
we both wait in line together after buying a few things (we’re next to each other) the taxi calls him and he walks out back to the direction of our workplace, I say ‘thanks for the ride’ Thinking he’ll wait a minute and then we’ll head off, like any normal person would do.
The taxi cab drives right past me with him in it. I texted him saying what he did was out of order and that he is a wanker.
This all happened within the space of 5 minutes.
He had no pressing engagements, no meetings, nothing.
Work is a 30 second walk away from the store. So from the time I got out of the store and was proceeding back to get in the cab, which was parked outside work, he decided that it was more convenient to ditch his friend, so he could be home 5 minutes earlier, even though he agreed to share a cab.
His rationale the next day was that ‘he couldn’t be bothered’ and that he said ‘No’ but he didn’t, he said yes.
So now I don’t talk to him or hang around him until I get an apology, otherwise fuck him.
But he did agree to share it, that’s the reason why I am mad at one of my close friends. If he wanted to get a taxi on his own fine, no big deal, there’s no need to lie and pretend that he was going to give me a lift in the first place, and then renege on the arrangement. He wasn’t waiting a long time before, as I said, this all happened in the space of 5 minutes. He’s just a passive aggressive asshole whose actions say alot about his attitude towards me than his words.
However, I’m of the persuasion that you won’t be convinced of this account, or any for that matter(considering by your own words, you don’t like me) judging by your other, confrontational hissy fits which are nothing more than that, hissy fits.
OP, consider this a lesson on what “friendship” means. It seems unlikely, from your description of his selfishness and in my experience of being around humans, that this is the first indication of passive aggressive behaviour. When people show you who they are, it’s your job to see it.
When I was younger, I had trouble reading people based on cues rather than take their words as they were. Even though your “best friend” said sure/yes/okay/whatever-in-agreement, there is a difference between an enthusiastic “Sure!” and a hesitated “Ummm… I guess… sure.” If it’s the latter, it’s in your best interest to find another solution because it usually means they’ll resent you or bail on you. Train yourself to read other people’s cues as well as their words. I like people who do what they say but I’ve learned over the years that not everyone plays by that rule. Learning who to trust and not to trust takes away a lot of mental anguish.
Is sharing a cab usually how you leave work? If so, you probably want to find an alternative that relies less on other people’s schedules.
He’s not your friend.
If you don’t understand why people are confused by your slowly evolving account, then to me this suggests that you may well have misinterpreted the situation yourself.
I really don’t mean to be rude, but reading your posts has been like watching a figure slowly emerge from a thick fog in a dense forrest. (Is it just old man Brodey from the mill, or is it a bear!?)
From the start you’ve assumed people would understand the circumstances (eg, why you would go to a petrol station after calling a taxi, why you would assume your friend would wait for you back at work), because in your own mind it’s so obvious.
As an exercise, go back and re-read your own posts, and try to understand how others might have been confused by your narration. Then apply the same kind of analysis to the (possible) misunderstanding between you and your friend.
[ul]
[li]Did he really agree to share a taxi ride, or was his response something vague or easily misheared (“sure”[nah], “yep”[nope],“'mkay”[no way])?[/li][li]Did you make it clear you were suggesting sharing both the ride and the fare, or did you say something that could have been misinterpreted as an attempt to bum a ride? (“Hey, if you’re getting a taxi, do you mind if I ride along with you?”)[/li][li]Which of you initiated the move to the store and which of you was just tagging along? (If you were tagging along, your friend might have been wondering “why is he following me?”)[/li][li]If your friend hadn’t actually agreed to share a taxi, how might he interpret your “thanks for the ride” remark? (“Thanks for nothing!”)[/li]
[li]Lastly, in light of all possible misunderstandings, how should your friend feel about you calling him a wanker? (After all, he didn’t flip you the bird as he drove by, did he?)[/li][/ul]
Sounds like he won.
(Bolding mine)
Call me stupid, but I don’t understand this. Why would you wait in line (presumably at the store attached to the petrol station) AFTER making purchases?
I’m sorry the guy you thought was your friend turned out to be a dick, OP.
I thought your account was clear from the start.
Thank you!
This isn’t people in general, where I come from usually it’s common courtesy for one of your close friends to wait a minute or two for you to get to the cab.
Did you even read the OP? He said it was ok.
Yes I made it clear to him and I didn’t even anticipate him paying for my ride, I didn’t care paying full price.
We’d finished work and we both getting things for dinner. We walked together to the store.
No, he just ditched a mate of his so he could get home 5 minutes earlier, and lied to him. Yeah, class act.
If it was a genuine misunderstanding, he’d of told me the next day, he didn’t which insinuates he didn’t want to share a ride in the first place in spite of agreeing to do so, so me calling him a wanker is valid.
I didn’t know what the hell you were talking about in the OP, but now we’re clear and your friend sounds like a jackass.
I don’t understand why when the taxi called you didn’t just walk with him to it? What were you doing at the store that you needed him to wait at all?
One question, this friend of yours, do you engage in any social activities with him outside of work?
Like someone else said. If you had already bought your items why did you have to wait? Why didn’t you go out there when he did?
Your story still isn’t clear.
Also you saying, “thanks for the ride” makes it sound like were expecting him to pay for both of you instead of splitting the fair. If you said that to me that’s what I would think and I might take off with out you too. And then if you texted me and called me a “wanker” for not paying for your fair share then I’d be done with you too.
Yup, me and him and another friend all hang out regularly. He’s not just a work acquaintance.
My bad, it’s a typo, it should of read we we’re waiting in line after getting a few things. :smack:
As I said numerous times before, I didn’t care about paying full price for the ride, and I know my friend enough to know that he wouldn’t pay my half, and I didn’t expect him too, and he didn’t expect to do that either.
Paying for my goods I just got? Like I said before, the taxi was a 30 second walk away.
I’m assuming that when he says he bought his items and then stood in line, he means that he selected his items and then stood in line at the cashier to pay for them. It sounds like his friend paid for his items and left the store to go back across the street to their office where the friend then got in the cab and left without waiting for him to catch up.
OK then, I guess he’s an actual friend. I just wanted to check.
I want to remind you that I can recall at least two other occasions in the past where you’ve posted problems you’ve had with workplace friendships where the consensus has been “work is for working, not for friendship/drama.”
But ok, he’s a friend. I guess the question that remains is, is this the hill you wish your friendship to die upon?
Why were you buying “petrol” if you don’t have a car? A gift for the cabbie?
I believe the two of them went to a convenience store, which was attached to a petrol station.
And the guy is not your friend, Ryan. He’s an acquaintance from work that you have sometimes done stuff with outside of work.
Yes, I read it, more than once, and like many other posters, I was confused by it.
No doubt if you’d told the same story to one of your coworkers they would have understood it straight away, having the same familiarity with your environment.
They might even have agreed that your “friend” was a wanker for ditching you. (Or, like me, they might have asked you to clarify that you actually heard your friend agree to share a taxi.)
OK, maybe your “friend” is a jerk, but I suggest that before you write him off, you first try to objectively re-analyze events without an assumption of tacit knowledge.
Maybe it was all just a big misunderstanding. You know? Like those wacky high jinks that happen on sitcoms.
Yeah, at first I thought maybe they went there to wait for the taxi.
In my area, petrol stations don’t have stores attached.