You Tom are an asshole.
I have known both you and your wife Anne for about 20 years, I was at your wedding, I have attended the Christenings of both your children, when my wife was alive we all used to go on holiday together, we shared some good times.
Now you have left Anne…and the 2 kids.
Why?..in your words “I just couldn’t cope with it”
Anne has had a mastectomy and now is the time she needs you more than ever before but you couldn’t cope with it!!
What an insensitive, unfeeling and thoughtless twat you are.
If all that good woman was to you was a pair of breasts then she is well rid of you Tom.
Don’t be surprised if Billy the landlord of the pub refuses to serve you today or any other time and don’t be surprised if not a one of your former pals speaks to you EVER again.
You deserve every bit of bad luck that the world can throw at you.
Is it just me, or is this year just getting off to a generally shitty start for a helluva lot of people, including myself?
Ugh. My heart goes out to that poor woman, and I wouldn’t want to be having your X-friends karma right about now. That’s going to be a karmic bitch slap of epic preportions.
I want to second Ilsa. My stepbrother did the same thing. It really affected the kids. Not immediately, but later in life. They have trouble with relationships. Obviously I don’t know your relationship with the wife and kids, but I’m betting they could use a positive male role model right now. Whether to fix something broken in the house, lift heavy boxes, or to serve as a father figure.
I think there are some people that are perfectly nice people as long as long as life never tests them. I don’t know if i can feel anything but sad for them and the people they let down. The punishment has to be not being the person they thought they were. It is a grieving process for the friend you thought you had who turns out to be someone you never knew too. I am sorry for your loss Spogga.
Not just myself but most of Toms ex pals have been to see Anne and the kids. We have made it quite clear that should she need or want anything she has all our phone numbers.
I need not emphasise how devastated the lady is, she still has a great deal of feeling for Tom which is understandable. The kids on the other hand are rather difficult to get through to. James [the eldest] is 14 and appears to be a bit philosophical about the issue; as if it was what he expected to happen.
Gillian is 12 and is bemused, she can’t fathom out why her father left home and although Anne has attempted to explain why she still can’t grasp it.
Tom did not get served in the pub today and was told not to bother coming back, none of us said a word…not one word.
I think you hit the nail on the head right here. I feel really sorry for all of the people involved to tell the truth, the friends included. It might have come as a surprise even to Tom that he couldn’t cope with it. Some people just don’t seem equipped to handle some of the incredibly harsh realities of life.
Question, spogga…how does Tom seem to be reacting to his shunning? Is he showing any remorse at all? Maybe, if nothing else, the shunning might snap him out of it.
Well it is good that you are supporting your friend Anne in this devastating situation. She certainly needs all the support you can muster.
I would also consider that Tom had been my friend for 20+ years or however long. I would consider his pain also. In spite of what he has done, I think I would try to remain his friend as best I could.
It is wonderful that you and the others are trying to be there for Anne. Perhaps it will help restore her faith in people. I’m sure she is having a hard time trusting anyone after being betrayed like this by her husband.
** Cerri ** Tom seems a little confused by the fact that all his former pals have cut him out, I don’t think he fully realises the extent of what he has done.
** County ** With respect It is Anne that has suffered the pain, all Tom needed to do was be with her and help her over this most traumatic time.
I think one of you should take him aside and explain it to him. Politely, but firmly. “Cutting out on your wife was a shitty thing to do and we’re all disgusted by it, so don’t bother showing your face around us.”
The answer he got was that the sight of the scar tissue made him feel physically sick.
It was pointed out that Anne would not have left him if he had had to have his nuts removed, to which Tom replied “Yes but there would be nothing to see would there”
He has promised to make certain that neither Anne nor the kids go without anything, again it was pointed out they already are… a husband and father.
At the risk of being indelicate, I point out there may be nothing to remove in the first place, judging by his actions.
I can assume he’s expressed no interest in any of the several support groups there are for cancer survivors and their family?
