Queer Eye 9/16 - Tom M.

Cafe Society
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[quote]
Name: Tom M.
Age: 45
Height: 6’6"
Weight: 230 lbs
Status: Divorced
Occupation: Systems Analyst
Category: Drab Dad
Location: West Paterson, New Jersey
Event: Friends & Family Get-Together
Tom is a tall guy in serious need of a fresh start. He is a caring dad who dotes on his two children, whom he sees each weekend. Fatherly duties unfortunately leave him little time and even less space for his dating life. One glance around his apartment is enough to tell you that Tom, twice divorced, clearly lost custody of all the nice furniture. His fashion and grooming choices are also failing to show him off to his best advantage. The Fab Five’s mission: help this great dad figure out how to be a great catch as he re-enters the dating scene.
PROBLEM AREAS
…his “transitional” apartment is decorated with an odd assortment of tragic hand-me-downs that look even worse together than they do individually.
…his skin regimen consists of water, water, more water…and a towel.
…his wardrobe, which hasn’t seen a real update in ten years, features a lot of khakis and the occasional loud party shirt.
…likes to cook, but has a hard time finding counter or sink space in his over-cluttered kitchen.

“I would describe Tom’s apartment as…a nursery school.” — Tom’s Friend

[quote]

2

Sorry for the hijack, but there’s an article on the contracts of the Fab 5. All I can say is “Damn!”- they’re the lowest paid stars on TV since Max Baer, Jr…

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The word of the day is “renegotiate.” Bravo and the Fab 5 will almost certainly be entering into renegotiations any day now.

4

Oooh, thanks for reminding me!

He’s their second Jerseyite. So glad they’re not just doing upper West Side straight guys or something.

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Slight hijack (and I apologize). I know that many of the products and services are provided for free by the stores, but what would these makeovers cost in real life? From what I can tell, it’s got to be at least $5-10,000.

6

I thought it was a good one. Not as over the top as usual and a lot less funny, but still pretty good and the makeover of his house was just astounding.

[hijack]
I caught The Restaurant before it (cause I was watching the Queer Eye rerun before it) and HOLY CRAP! I was riveted to the set! Even though cook dude is a total head case. I think it made my Must Watch list.

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GMRyujin; I watched The Restaurant already - if you were glued to this one, just wait until you see what an utter prick Rocco is through the rest; and his satanic manager - good lord, you’ll be glued even more so! I quite enjoyed the series, though I was angry through the entire thing. Talk about screwing over your GOOD workers! Man oh man.
OK Tom M. Not a bad episode overall. A few things that were bothersome - one thing these guys do not seem to be able to relate to is the parenthood of their subjects. I totally loved it when Jai was trying to buy stuff to keep the kids out of his hair and get RID of them for a while, and the guy said “Um, let’s get some stuff we can do together” What a good dad; I knew then that he was pretty darned cool. These guys can’t think of anything except “Get the kids out of the way and their lives out of sight”, though Carson was a welcome change from that when he pointed out that this man likely had future financial obligations and didn’t need to spend all his money on Couture - it cost him a lot to say that, but it DID at least show someone gave a damn.

The cook - what’s his name? I love him; but anyway - IMO this man is a parent and when you are, your last concern is high-end gourmet type sushi for entertaining; the man has to be able to shove something in the oven and produce something that little children will eat, he obviously works so he doesn’t have day and night to plan gourmet menus and kids hate that shit anyway. Forget it. I had to laugh that a couple of them actually thought the kids would be eating the sushi LMAO. Hehehe. Try selling that to a four year old boy, uh huh. Also interesting was the poor kid’s reaction to the fact that his bed and stuff had been moved - a boy that age doesn’t react well to that kind of thing, and most certainly he’s already been through upheaval galore. But fine, the dad did well getting him used to it, he’s obviously a caring father. I can’t remember which one; I think it was Jai but maybe it was the interior decorator, pissed me off with the stuff about separating the space - kids space here, grownups’ space there (and then he allowed the kids, WHAT, MAYBE TWO SQUARE FEET OF FREAKING SPACE TO PLAY IN IN THE HOUSE??? Damn him for that one.) And it isn’t like that; we live in the house together (yes I know he only has them on the weekends) so how about INTEGRATING the space instead of a colored water fountain and a white one, huh guys??? They just HAVE to grow up when it comes to dealing with PARENTS on this show. Other than that, I do love them; don’t mistake me here.

What ended up being really funny was the boy was crying, and the dad asks why, and the child says he’s hungry. Sooooooooo…the father (knowing damned well what answer he’s gonna get) asks “You want some sushi?” And duh, the boy says “No.” So he went right for the truth, “You want macaroni and cheese?” And you just know the guy went right in there and made the kid some macaroni and cheese. What a guy; I really liked him.

As far as doing only NY people; I agree; I’m glad they’re doing some Jersey folks too. HOWEVER I’m glad as HELL that it’s NOT a west coast show and we don’t have to be subjected to them again. I’m sick of west coast shit; we need our own over here. And the rest of the country needs to stop thinking Hollywood has a clue; it’s all happenin’ here, baby.

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It’s not the job of the Fab 5 to come up with ways for Ted to interact with his kids. Their job for this episode was to make him over and make him presentable to meet a woman his sister was bringing over for an adult party. Since generally speaking you don’t want four year-olds running around an adult party playing Candyland, getting them quiet solo activities that they can enjoy while the adults are having adult time seems reasonable. The things Jai was picking (card games, build your own dinosaur) seemed like things that Dad could play with them and that they could do on their own while the adults are having adult time. As far as integrating the space goes, I know when I was a kid I wanted space that was mine so separating the space so the kids had their area and the adults have theirs seems, again, reasonable. There’s nothing that says Tom and the kids can’t ever be in each others’ space so your comparison of it to Jim Crow is kind of disgusting.

And again, you missed the point. First off, sushi doesn’t take that long to prepare. Slap some rice and some toppings on seaweed, roll it up and slice it. Hardly something that takes day and night to plan or produce. And the party focus was for the adults so it doesn’t seem all that horrible to make some big person food for the big people. And gee, is it so unreasonable to think that a child might actually try something new? You also read way too much into the kid’s reaction to the rearranged space and being hungry. The kid moved one stuffed animal and pretty much thought the rest of it was cool. You make it sound like the kid was weeping and gnashing his teeth over being hungry and he wasn’t. And the food and wine guy’s name is Ted.

Anyway, I thought it was a really good ep, one of my favorites. Loved the total trashing of the apartment. Loved my sweet sweet Kyan’s line about blow jobs. I too was impressed that Carson recognized the fact that clothes were not going to be an overriding concern for Tom in the face of providing for his kids and that he selected clothes that reflect that while still looking good. When that wasabi went on the first sushi roll I gasped out loud. How lucky for Tom that it was his sister who got it and not his prospective date.

Jai’s role seems to be changing from “culture guy” to “ticket pimp.” His big contributions to the last few shows has been scoring tickets for the victims, and his “hip tip” last night was about how to score tickets. OK, yeah, he tried to teach Josh to dance but for the most part it’s tickets.

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Again, I was hugely impressed with what Thom did to the apartment. But no haircut this week? Kyan had very little to do.

I wonder what would have happened if, when gay Ted said, “you like sushi, don’t you?” straight Ted would have said, “ugh—wouldn’t touch the stuff!” Their whole product-placement for the week would have gone down the tubes!

This week’s straight guy seemed a little overwhelmed and even sullen; not as appreciative and enthusiastic as other “victims” had been. Wonder who set him up for this, his sister? How did they find their subjects, before the show was even known?

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When Kyan said his blowjob line the first person I thought of was you, Otto.

My mother called–curses!–when Jai was giving Ted the tickets and I missed what they were for. Any help?

I’m not usually a fan of mirrored walls but I think Thom chose wisely; they did make the room look much larger than actual size. I loved that he kept the bar, despite his reservations. It was like Urban Cowboy’s plastic faux stained glass. And the art wires were an incredibly practical idea, and you could see how much Ted appreciated it.

As far as “integrating” the houses goes, I think the Fab 5 have done great jobs with establishing spaces for parents and children without excluding anybody. Adam’s house was a total mess before Thom got hold of it, and created a playroom off the living room for their kids to use. The furniture in Adam’s place was also what I would call kid-friendly; leather sofas can clean up relatively simply, and the fragile or delicate objects seemed relegated to the shelves.

I felt Thom created a living room space that was mature enough for a 45-year-old single man, yet simple and basic enough for two kids to lounge on the sofas and watch TV or play with their toys. As far as moving the stuffed animal goes, my niece and nephew do that shit all the time. Sometimes they just decide something needs to go in a specific place, and they put it there. I chalk it up to their internal logic and just go with it. The kid seemed to be giving everything a thumbs-up, too, from what I saw. Well, a thumbs-up in terms of “this isn’t so bad” but it’s a far cry from screaming and crying.

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And dammit, the straight guy’s name is Tom, not Ted. Sigh.

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Thom really was the standout this week–he did a marvelous job redecorating the place, giving Tom and hs kids their own spaces and making the apartment look less like a divorced guy’s refuge and more like a sexy bachelor pad. The stripes on the walls and the art wire were great ideas.

Carson, on the other hand, I wanted to strangle. WHAT was he thinking dressing up a 6’6" man in YELLOW?

Poor Jai. He has no real cultural advice to give, so he has little to do except get theater tickets. It just seems to me that in an area like the Jersey environs of NYC that Jai should be able to come up with something besides concierge duties. What about book stores? Poetry readings? International cultural activities? Since the dining acitivity for the week was making sushi, maybe Jai could have complemented the food with a selection of Kurosawa DVDs or introduced straight Tom to the works of Kobo Abe or Yukio Mishima. If I were the Culture Guy, I would have suggested taking a date to see Japanese prints at the Met or the Asia Society. Instead of spouting inanities like “Shaking hands firmly is very important,” he could recommend a DVD, CD, or book that ties in with the show’s theme, or maybe give a quick cheat sheet to different composers, artists, or novelists, like this Hip Tip: “Japanese filmmaker Akira Kurosawa made some of the most important films that continue to inspire directors and thrill audiences today. His 1954 masterwork, Seven Samurai has been imitated by generations of filmmakers, including the 1960 Hollywood remake, The Magnificent Seven. Buy them both today at Best Buy and compare!” (See, I even got some product placement in there.)

And I have to feeling very smug watching Ted and Tom make clumsy, overstuffed sushi rolls, but then I had the advantage of learning to make kimbap (the Korean word for sushi rolls) from Korean housewives in Seoul. (Hint: To seal the sushi after you roll it, lightly moisten the two ends of the nori with water on your finger.)

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Thom really was the standout this week–he did a marvelous job redecorating the place, giving Tom and hs kids their own spaces and making the apartment look less like a divorced guy’s refuge and more like a sexy bachelor pad. The stripes on the walls and the art wire were great ideas.

Carson, on the other hand, I wanted to strangle. WHAT was he thinking dressing up a 6’6" man in YELLOW?

Poor Jai. He has no real cultural advice to give, so he has little to do except get theater tickets. It just seems to me that in an area like the Jersey environs of NYC that Jai should be able to come up with something besides concierge duties. What about book stores? Poetry readings? International cultural activities? Since the dining acitivity for the week was making sushi, maybe Jai could have complemented the food with a selection of Kurosawa DVDs or introduced straight Tom to the works of Kobo Abe or Yukio Mishima. If I were the Culture Guy, I would have suggested taking a date to see Japanese prints at the Met or the Asia Society. Instead of spouting inanities like “Shaking hands firmly is very important,” he could recommend a DVD, CD, or book that ties in with the show’s theme, or maybe give a quick cheat sheet to different composers, artists, or novelists, like this Hip Tip: “Japanese filmmaker Akira Kurosawa made some of the most important films that continue to inspire directors and thrill audiences today. His 1954 masterwork, Seven Samurai has been imitated by generations of filmmakers, including the 1960 Hollywood remake, The Magnificent Seven. Buy them both today at Best Buy and compare!” (See, I even got some product placement in there.)

And I have to feeling very smug watching Ted and Tom make clumsy, overstuffed sushi rolls, but then I had the advantage of learning to make kimbap (the Korean word for sushi rolls) from Korean housewives in Seoul. (Hint: To seal the sushi after you roll it, lightly moisten the two ends of the nori with water on your finger.)

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I’m still wondering what they are going to do with Jai. It is hard to use a culture guy in a way that creates something that all of us would want to watch. I like Gobear’s idea, but is this something that they can do for every show?

So far, I’m really impressed with Thom. It’s amazing what he can do with those places. Granted sometimes it is a case of having the budget to buy some really nice pieces, but even so, what he does really brings everything together.

I would love to see an episode where they visit each straight guy about six months after the redo them and see how they live.

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There’s a FAQ on Bravo’s website, but those numbers aren’t far off.
For instance, I researched some of the brands Kyan advertises. One of those little tubs of hair care stuff in my local drug store cost something like $15. I know style has its price, but come on, $15 for like 4 ounces?

And as usual, the attitude is, “LA, NY, and all that crap in between.” I know you couldn’t pull off “Queer Eye” in too many other places, but does that mean the rest of us can’t do anything but sit in our trailers swilling cheap beer and watching tractor pulls? :slight_smile:

Anyway, getting away from the ranting and back to the show, I thought this one was pretty funny. The guy was still pretty clueless (Carson: “first you moisturize, then you shave”) but once he had a little bit of confidence he was totally in control. I about died laughing watching Tom’s sister eat the wasabi sushi (what was he thinking??) and at Carson’s line about the Jersey women with their cleavage.

Next week’s guy looks to be a total disaster.

brujo: Sweeps would be my guess.

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I wonder how many drag queens there will be within 3 months named “Sushi BuFay”.

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Well, we have already have Cookie Buffet here in DC.

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Well, the kid’s reaction to the teddy bear in the wrong place was certainly more mature than the Hooker from Trenton’s reaction to the same thing!

I enjoyed this episode. Tom seemed like a good guy and a good sport. The whole style/decorating/fashion thing seemed really foreign to him, but I get the sense that he, more than the others, will try to maintain the new routines. He was uncomfortable at times, but not disdainful.

I love the “hey, look at the Jersey girls!” aspect of this show. On one hand, the Fab 5 seemed to find the women in this show a bit tacky and trashy, but they also seem to understand that this show was about finding a woman for Tom to like, not for them to like. Jersey girls run the gamut from the big-haired over-tanned plunging neckline type to the sophisticated Armenian woman who lived in Jersey City, and I’m glad they are appreciating all of us.

And I loooved the art wires! I’m absolutely going to use that I dea.

I love how this show actually gives viable ideas that regular people can use. I even sent away for the West Elm catalog. Alas, I wasn’t crazy about the stuff in there style-wise, but the prices were certainly reasonable. Some of the stuff they do is expensive, but some really isn’t, or may be the kind of expense that is affordable once in a while, like the fancy chocolates. “If the Versace fits, wear it!” Ha ha. You can find stuff like that for a fair price. (A pal of mine has 2 Versace dresses that she picked up on clearance for about 100 bucks apiece.) I like how this show reminds you that “regular” folks can wear Versace too.

Eve–He did have a haircut, they just didn’t show it and it was fairly subtle. He had a bit of a mini-mullet in the back in the beginning, and it was gone by the end. The back and sides were cut a little closer. And one of the party guests admired his new haircut.

Anniee: Since when do kids “hate” sushi? At my local place, there are little kids there chowing on sushi all the time. The Sprout likes it already at 16 months. Sushi rolls are great kid food–colorful finger food! True, kids aren’t always crazy about raw fish, but plenty of sushi doesn’t have raw fish. Futo maki seems to be a particular favorite of kids. And I guess you’ve never made sushi yourself, but it’s quite easy, especially if you have a rice cooker. It’s interactive and fun, and definitely something kids like to participate in. It’s fun to put the ingredients in, roll it up, and then see how what designs it makes when you cut it up.

My hip tip: If you finely shred some red cabbage and cook it lightly in the microwave, you can include it in a sushi roll. It will stain the surrounding rice purple! Cool.

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I thought it was a great episode! I do wonder whether Thom has any help when he does those apartments. Surely he can’t get all that done by himself in just a couple of hours.

(And by the way… New York/Jersey is not the east coast. They’re just ON the east coast. There’s quite a bit of east coast south of Manhattan.)

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Lol. Nice.