I pit my neighbor.

The BBQ Pit
1

Here’s some backstory:

About four (Only four? It seems so much longer!) months ago, some new neighbors moved into the apartment next door. A middle-aged woman and her 80-year old father. My husband and I were pleased: these neighbors should be nice and quiet. WRONG!

Turns out the woman (hereafter referred to as B-Rex) misled the landlady, neglecting to inform her that B-Rex’s elderly father has fairly late-stage Alzheimer’s, which causes him to frequently forget where he is and who we (his neighbors, who he has now met on several occasions) are.

Right off the bat, the noise disturbances started. B-Rex is an extremely heavy treader and stomps around the aparment for hours, seemingly moving furniture around. At least that what it sounds like.

Then we start hearing someone pounding on the door for hours, calling out “B-Rex! B-Rex!” First my husband and I thought the father, Sr. Rex, had locked himself out, but it turns out that dear daughter that she is, B-Rex had locked him IN the aparment and he had forgotted where he was and wanted to go home!

We call the landlady, who is stunned, and she calls B-Rex. So now when B-Rex goes to wherever she goes, she leaves Sr. Rex to sit on the porch and moan in is sleep and talk to himself for hours.

Here the piece-de-resistance (sic. ?): At about 4-4:30 EVERY MORNING, Sr. Rex wakes up and starts calling out B-Rex’s name in the dark, taking about how the needs to go to the hospital/go home/find the light switch. He is very loud because he is also deaf, and forgets to put in his hearing aid!

We have discussed this with the landlady, and I’ve been sending steady reports via email every time we get woken up. It’s been about a month of emails to landlady and no action has been taken.

Sr. Rex obivously needs to be in a 24hr care facility, and if he doesn’t move out, my husband and I will have to. Which is sad, because we love the apartment and the neighborhood.:frowning:
Well, that turned out milder than I thought it would. Probably because I’m so tired FROM BEING WOKEN UP AT 4AM!

2

Alzheimer’s sucks. It is truly devastating for all those involved with it.

3

How about calling the landlady every time you’re woken up at 4:30 am? You can hold the phone up and say “can you hear that? That’s what I’ve been complaining about!”

If you irritate her enough, maybe she’ll do something. As it stands, the landlady is just putting her fingers in her ears and going “lalalalalalla”

4

OOOH, that’s a good idea! Beats my husbands idea of getting up and start beating his fist on the dividing wall. Gratifying, but antagonistic.:smiley:

Damn straight she is! From what our next house over (awkward…) neighbor says, she’s like that with every complaint.

5

Have you talked to B-Rex about her father and his disturbances? Is it possible she needs help (I’m not nominating you) from some Elder Care support system in your area?

6

Agreed.

7

That was my first thought too. Either talk to her or make a call to an Elder Care or social services department… I’d have to think all major cities have 'em. The professionals can at least give you an idea about some options that may work better than pounding on the wall. It may very well be that neither B-Rex nor the landlady know what to do about this. Especially if B-Rex is on a limited income, she may not be able to afford a full-time care facility, short of one that’s heavily subsidized (do they even have subsidized elder care for situations like this?).

8

Yeah, though only once. She apologized for the noise and said: “You know Alzheimer’s, it’s party all the time.”:eek:

I’m paraphrasing here, but that’s pretty close to what she said. Lately we’ve seen a young (mid-20’s?) girl come by during the day to watch Sr. Rex, but that doesn’t do anything about the night-time stuff. We feel really sorry for him, because it’s pretty obvious B-Rex is in over her head with him.

We’ve also overheard a couple of B-Rex’s phone conversations, which have let us to believe she is using Sr. Rex’s social security check to pay for their rent. So if he goes, she has to go too. BWT, just in case you think we are snooping and prying, her phone conversations are usually broadcast to the whole block, as she a) has two volume settings: loud and off, and b) she likes to stand on the front porch whilst on the phone.

9

Sounds like the situation sucks, but what do you expect the landlady to do? Kick them out? Tell them to shut up? Build a sound barrier?

10

Yeah it sucks.

It seems there is no good solution to this and it is increasingly looking like we have to move again when our lease expires in January.
We’ve moved four times since Katrina, and it’s getting really old.:frowning:

11

If your neighbor’s father has no income (aside from Social Security) and no assets, he may qualify for Medicaid. That won’t pay for a flossy home, and it may not cover in-home care, but it’ll get him the care he needs. It does sound like his care is getting to be too much for his daughter to bear.

It may be worth it to get in touch with the New Orleans Council on Aging to see what resources they can offer. If nothing else, they can probably make the referrals to the appropriate agencies to get him what he needs.

I feel bad for this man and his daughter. Alzheimer’s sucks as it is, but not knowing what to do or where to turn doesn’t help.

Robin

12

I do sympathize with people dealing with Alzheimer’s, but NoLAFIN and husband have a right to quiet enjoyment of their own home, regardless of which disease is causing the noise problem. I would expect the landlady to deal with this like any other noise problem - you can’t make noise that affects your neighbours. Do it too much, and you’re out. If that means he has to go to an old folk’s home, that’s what it means. He is a danger to himself and others as it is.

Have you made it clear to your landlady that the noise stops or you leave, NoLAFIN?

13

I ask because I’ve faced similar situations in the past. Not alzheimer’s patients, but generally noisy neighbors. My landlord’s official position on this is for tenants to work it out for themselves. A number of times I had to knock on doors to ask for a cessation of noise. (And in each case, the neighbors were very cooperative, luckily.)

I’m thinking that that is your only solution, and it isn’t much of one given the circumstances.

14

Not yet, but it seems that is what I have to resort to. When we singed our lease, there was a clause about “quiet enjoyment of premises” and the neighbors are definitely getting in the way of that.

15

Hee - you “singed” your lease - was it an aria? :smiley:

tdn, you’ve got me wondering now. I assumed it was part of a landlord’s responsibility to get rid of bad tenants, and that includes noisy ones, the way it’s a landlord’s responsibility to provide working plumbing and heating, etc.

16

:smack: …singed. Oopsie. Ironically I’m tone-deaf.

And yes, it’s *supposed *to be the landladys responsibility, it’s just that she doesn’t want to deal with it any more than we do. Who would?

This is way too meek & mild for the pit. Assbags! There.