Tobacco, shanks, drugs, and for reasons not adequately explained, a whistle.
Oh, we have moms call in a lot. Some have even managed to get my direct number.
Yeah, I don’t want to think about the chronically constipated and bowel-obsessed. Fortunately, getting our population off narcotics gets rid of a lot of bowel issues. Not all, but a lot.
The comment about opiates and benzos also makes me wonder if the daughter is perhaps taking advantage of mom’s problems for her own amusement and/or profit.
It’s a horrible thought, but there ARE people out there who will exploit a person with health problems or a handicap for selfish reasons, not limited to obtaining opiates for getting high or selling at a profit, but I’ve also seem relatives of diabetics sell syringes (in one case, forcing the diabetic to re-use old syringes while selling the new ones) or relatives of disabled people getting all manner of items/drugs for selling. Sad, very sad. Particularly when they steal from someone’s needed medication, leaving them in in pain and suffering.
Bah- that cracks me up 
Oh man… that’s great… You’ve always been one of my favs, QtM, and I was bummed when you stopped posting your stories, but I totally understand now.
I also own a set of sounds, so I know that you’re just using this as an excuse to brag. 
Clearly for blow jobs.
I’m afraid to google medical sounds because I think they will have pictures and illustrations and other fearsome things. Can somebody please tell me simply what medical sounds are and what they are used for? Without traumatizing me. Please.
Did you really WANT him to explain the whistle?
Ow. I just aspirated some soda.
They’re thin metal instruments, designed to be inserted into the urethra to check for blockages, remove blockages, or stretch it out if there’s a constriction. A doctor can even probe into the bladder with one.
That’s the medical use. Some people use these tools to do that for… “recreational purposes.”
This thread needs an appropriate Hank Hill Narrow urethra joke, but I’m not funny enough to come up with one.
This thread is definitely high on the gross-entertainment scale, but I think the old bagel-dog is still number one for me among **QtM **threads.
You are a credit to the medical profession every time you get one of these patients and don’t just walk away from the job forever.
I’m almost afraid to ask.
It’s the link in the above-quoted post. Horrifying but classic.
I went to school with a kid that would stuff bb’s up his willie.
Until he was masturbating one day and shot the cat.
Oh my … 
:eek:
I <3 this thread. It is hysterical. A whistle, indeed.
One of the patients who stand out (so to speak) in my memory is the trucker whose buddies dared him to place a lug nut from a wheel around his penis. Y’all can guess what happened, right?
Q
His buddies all laughed because his penis was so skinny that a lug nut would fit arond it?
Even better - just don’t google anything with “bme” - there’s some seriously weird stuff there. Not long ago, I accidentally ran into a tale of someone who decided five toes per foot was too many and they’d apparently rather have hooves, so they removed bones and split their foot lenthwise.
My father worked for two pickle companies over the course of his life. He once told me about a guy who was fired for putting his dick in the pickle slicer.
They fired the pickle slicer too.