By the way, I hope your adoption is wildly successful and you’ll always think of me as “that crazy lady on the internet” and never really understand why this is a hot button. Ours has been really successful - most of the issues I’m speaking to are second hand from friends in the adoption community. Our son is flexible and well bonded, without (to date) a lot of adoption angst. He’s healthy and smart and truly a kind and charismatic kid (keeps the comparisions to the Columbine killers down- though that has happened twice). Our families are supportive - and where they aren’t supportive they are fairly distant (an aunt of mine who we only see once or twice a year and keeps her mouth shut around me - I hear it secondhand from my mom - I think she is genuinely frightened of making any comments near me). Our community is full of interracial adoptees, and our immediate circle of friends has three other adoptees (two others with bio kids) in it plus adopted neices and nephews. There have been moments - his little sister is the biggest perpatrator of insensitive comments (what can you expect of a six year old sister except for her to bring up “I grew in Mommy’s tummy” to which the retort is “yeah, but I have two Moms.”)
In my experience, people who are this stupid and insenstive don’t edit themselves for their audience, so I don’t see a complete and total disconnect between the two. Or do you think this woman gets brighter around children than she does in a room full of infertile adopting people and a social worker?
I think the point here is that she is not around children - I don’t doubt that furnishesq will defend his actual child against actual ignorance, but this is not that situation. At this point, he would be defending his choice to adopt against someone who is acting like biological children are better than adoptive ones, and while this is something worth fighting for, he has decided not to for his own, good reasons. The insensitivity issue is pretty much moot, as she is obviously oblivious.
No, I’m saying outright that furnishesq, his wife, and the rest of their classmates are well aware that they’re not around children as the woman is being this rude, and so they shouldn’t let her get to them. Whether she’s so stupid as to not edit herself and do this in front of actual children is something that should be pointed out to TPTB after they’ve successfully completed the class, not raise something that’s not necessary in that forum and risk their own ability to adopt for the sake of a momentary satisfaction at sticking it to an idiot.
Read what I wrote. I was talking about furnishesq, not victory fist woman. Or do you just want to read your own agenda into what I wrote and ignore the actual black parts of the page?
Please remind me to never post before or after dangerosa if I want to be noticed!
Did any of you guys hear something just now? No? Hrm. Guess it was the wind.
On not taking bait:
On not tolerating ugliness: