I post a benign comment, you fake offense to it and then post your own.

Try to have a little bit more empathy for those that maybe cannot have dogs because of allergies or even because they cannot afford to feed and taken care of themselves, much less an animal. Or people who have a disability, injury, or illness caused by a dog.It’s really not all about you, ya know!

There’s a library book sale in two weeks. I can’t wait!

REALLY? CLOUDS?

PSHHHHHHHHHHHH… acting like you actually care about the environment

I love penguins!

You just can’t wait to Lord it over those of us who can’t read, huh? Well I hope you use one of those books to lead an unfortunate person toward the path of literacy.

Since the weather’s lousy, I think I’ll stop by Boobs are Us today and have a few beers.

I’d love to have nothing better to do today except go to the bar and have a few beers. In fact, I’d freaking love it, problem is, like most people, I have responsibilities that take precedence. Get a real life.

I’ve already got tomorrow’s dinner made, I just need to pop it in the oven after work.

Kraft Mac & Cheese only takes 5 minutes to make, you know. Now, thanks to your impatience, you get to eat a dried out version tomorrow that barely tastes better than the cardboard it came in.

MST3K repeats are still funny.

Way to go Make a joke I can’t understand.
My favorite program is on TV.

Could you at least post a screenshot, or take a picture with your phone?? How are we supposed to nitpick your favorite show, offer useless opinions or throw out irrelevant advice if you don’t at least mention the show, episode and season?

Sorry, I thought that we were in General Questions…

Way to go, Hawking. I think a prime indicator that this wasn’t GQ is that she didn’t ask a question.

Things are looking up for the Koreas.

And, how exactly, do you know that? Are you some sort of expert on Korean affairs? Maybe you are just being overwhelmed by fake news.

I hope I’m not getting a cold.

I have never EVER heard of someone WANTING a cold. Of course you don’t want a cold. You don’t want your eye jabbed either do ya? Are you gonna tell us about that, too?
Come on, dude, StraightDope isn’t for dopes.

My polyps are benign.

Way to gross us out with TMI.

I have a sparkly new pedicure!

Huh, I guess I didn’t realize they allow 14 year old girls to post here.

My favorite animals to watch at the zoo are the monkeys.

Great. Another person who gets off on monkeys in public masturbating and having coitus.

Big Bang’s next two episodes promise to be great!

Are they going to be performed in black face? They might as well what with the nerd face they already use to oppress and humiliate the nerds or the world.

It “rained” here today. And by that I mean “sprinkled slightly”. Which of course caused everyone to drive like idiots into each other.

Who exactly made you the town sheriff? Maybe you should pay more attention to your own driving.

Today was gorgeous, but tomorrow and the rest of the week are going to be too warm, too soon.

What? You like paying heating bills or something.
I made a pineapple cake. Yummy!

MY father was raped and murdered by a pineapple cake. I hope you choke.

But also, pineapple cake sounds tasty!

Such kind words for the cake that ravaged your father, Mr Oedipus by Proxy. Got anything to say about Mom?

Subtle simplicity, it’s always the best path…

Pretentious much? Gwyneth Paltrow called, she wants the stick up her ass back.

The snack bar has blueberry yogurt with crunchy granola topping! Mmmm! Yum!

That stuff is so high in sugar. You’ve been conned by the food industry. Ever heard of reading ingredients?

I am going to write an article for the neighborhood online newsletter tomorrow.