**This morning I learned never to wear underwear to a hospital
Because the Straight Dope tells me so - things learned from the Dope.
**
Numquam ubi sub ubi!
**This morning I learned never to wear underwear to a hospital
Because the Straight Dope tells me so - things learned from the Dope.
**
Numquam ubi sub ubi!
** Me so hungry!
Cute newborn kittens… **
:eek:
**If you had to create odds for how the world ends?
Proctology…
**
Yeah, I definitely know where my odds would be pulled from.
**What is the most difficult sport to figure out?
Anyone for a game of Mornington Crescent? **
Proctology…
Non-major theme park stuff I have to see in the Orlando area.
Sorry kids, it looks like Mickey’s going to be out of action for awhile.
How does one learn to sell cars?
“Mandatory” parole?
That explains a lot about car salesmen.
Racoons under our shed
Is this a serious academic paper?
Of course. But it’ll look more professional if titled "Raccoons Under Our Shed: A Case Report And Review Of the Literature".
My SIL Is The Shizzle Fo Rizzle!
Unfortunate names of real people
I’m so, so sorry.
**So there’s a baby starling in the asparagus fern by the bathtub…
Stateless baby finally given Irish citizenship **
**Congressman Anthony Weiner: My Twitter account was hacked! The weiner photo is not mine!
Lies people tell **
**Tell me about great lengths you’ve gone to to avoid irritating people
Jack Kevorkian dead at age 83 **
By killing them.
**State of Emergency declared in Massachusetts
Apparently, my interview skills are not just bad, but Lovecraftian
**
"So what are your 5-year career goals?
TO RELEASE YOG SOSOTH UPON THE LAND AND WREAK HAVOC!!!"
**Oddball sensory pleasures
Proctology… **
What ever happened to that guy…?
Question about Facebook
That’s pretty much why it’s there.
What food you would expect at a casual summer wedding?
I want to gain weight
Hey, where’d the cake go?
People who don’t clean up their doggie poop
Human skin is basically leather
“If that idiot doesn’t clean up after his dog one more time…I know where I’m getting my new boots.”
Human skin is basically leather
Recurring Dream about my deceased father
You know that stylish handcrafted leather jacket your Mom gave you for Christmas? Well…it turns out you’re haunted, and that Mom and Dad didn’t get along as well as you thought.
From GQ:
What took longest to invent?
War cows
Despite the fact that cows have been domesticated for millennia, DARPA just rolled out the world’s first war cow last month. First deployments in Afghanistan are expected in early 2012.
People who don’t clean up their doggie poop
You’re in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down…
Human Resources suck cock in hell.
Workplace griping, anyone?
Uhm, yeah…bosses suck too!
Christian stance on sex
Attorney-Client Privilege
It’s OK for Christian attorneys to screw their clients.