Sleeping under your desk again, Costanza?
Time to hit the hay.
Don’t be so abusive!
I ate cereal for supper.
Cereal was the name of my pet pig–he’s been missing since last week! :eek:
Today was a beautiful day at the park!
And how thoughtless of you to ignore all those people around the world who don’t have access to a park. How selfish you are.
I’m going to the local animal shelter to adopt a cat as soon as I can!
Cats are agents of the devil, and that makes you a witch, and the Bible says witches should be killed!
I just had the best 7-eleven coffee and a lemon muffin.
I’m hungry right now, so how do you think that makes me feel. Besides, I would’ve rathered a blueberry muffin, not that you bothered to ask.
I need to leave for work in about 45 minutes.
You “need” to? What makes you think we want to hear about your needs? What about other people’s needs, huh?
I think I’ll walk up to the post office now.
Jeez, what century are you living in? Wake up, the years are flying by.
My college student made straight 'A’s!
Yeah, and you college student isn’t gonna have a life. Future dinner table conversation: (crickets).
I was relieved of jury duty after one day. I really wanted to get on a jury.
So you could hear all the juicy details of the sex pervert’s case ,and still find him innocent?
I got Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring in the library’s free book box. I haven’t read it till now.
I think you could learn something from the ‘silence’ part.
Time to do a little weeding.
Ummmm…then what he hell are the Bumbled Bees going to gather nectar from? Most weeds produce flowers, in case you haven’t noticed! This is the type of action that could literally KILL the planet.
I think I’ll get another cup of coffee from the break room, it’s free after all…
Of course it’s free, for you, since you’ve never contributed so much as a penny to the coffee fund at the office. You probably have two or three donuts with each cup, too. Thief!
I should get out and mow my lawn now that spring is here.
I should hope so. Your lawn is the neighborhood disgrace. It’s so bad dogs refuse to crap in there.
I’m over the flu (finally!)
It’s INFLUENZA. I-N-F-L-U-E-N-Z-A. The butchering of the English language continues.
I’m feeling so gay that I didn’t get the flu this season.
Hey, that’s hate-speech. Cool it buster!
I had pizza for luncheon, my nice friend brought it out for us.
And by nice friend, do you mean you have some mean friends? Why don’t you tell them how you really feel, I’m sure that’ll go over well.
We’re having leftovers for dinner tonight.
Can’t you figure out much to cook so you don’t have leftovers? It’s not brain surgery on a rocket ship.
I made it through the week without dipping into my savnigs account.
“nigs”? Is that the phrase currently favored by the alt right? If you got something to say, just come out and say it!
My son would not pose for a good picture because he was afraid of the Easter Bunny at the mall.
My youngest son was eaten by a rabbit. I understand his concern.
I’m helping a friend move today.