It’s not dumpster diving if you pay a quarter for trash, is it? Stop pretending you have any dignity.
I’m up waaaayyyyy past my bed time. But I don’t work tomorrow (today?)
Thanks, pal. Way to rub your slothfulness in the face of all us working schmoes.
My office’s database-management system is down.
Probably because of all the videos you keep posting of your cat.
Good ol’ Gold Bond lotion.
Really, TMI, we don’t need to know about the lotions, and ointments and potions you’re using.
I really love air conditioning.
You love running up your electric bill, causing allergies and messing with the weather? Really?
Memorial Day. Let’s remember those who served our country.
They already have veteren’s day, why do they need a 2nd day? Armistice Day was sacred. Memorial day is just an excuse to get off work.
I’m at work during this so called “holiday”
Holiday? Did you say holiday? I am preparing for the bbq party. It’s nothing but work, work work!!
At least my favorite sister will be here.
I guess that makes your other sisters feel very special, it’s probably torturous for them.
I’m going to have a soft pretzel later. I love soft pretzels.
Unless you live in or around New York City, you don’t know real soft pretzels.
Two of my favorite authors are releasing new books in September!
So they can continue their escalating drug abuse and alcoholism, I’m sure.
I just back to work form two weeks off!
Back from the rehab? Again?
I am thinking of starting a new project. I need a new bookcase.
Yeah, cinder blocks and 1x10s from the Home Depot require a lot of thought. Those 30 plastic 4-gallon milk crates you "borrowed"from behind the grocery store 5 years ago are finally full, huh.
I’m bummed that I didn’t kill the rat I saw going thru my recycling bin yesterday.
That’s all you can think about, isn’t it? Murder and killing. You just really enjoy it, don’t you? Next you’ll be killing bums. Then hookers. And before you know it, your fridge is full of co-worker heads.
My liver is about it explode I think.
Drinking way too much again? That’s a typical day for you isn’t it?
It was very hot here today.
It is.
Wait, who am I supposed to flame, snfaulkner or Patx2? snf had to pity brag about drinking, and pat times two just comments about the weather like the stimulating conversation that occurs during a visit with your senile great aunt. Oh, the humanity.
Wonder why Kevin Hart screams all the time?
You don’t know? He screams so you and I don’t have to. While there is plenty in this wonderful world to hold in gratitude, there is plenty to scream about. The fact that you don’t know why people scream lets us know that you are clueless. Hey! Read the news once in a while.
My dog finally ate a meal and got her pain medicine in her.
Thats how it starts. Pretty soon she’ll be doing the heroin.
I just got top score on the megatouch video crack game machine at the bar.
Playing video games at a bar just contributes to the general breakdown of our society. How sickening that you don’t even care about this.
Today I hiked up a cinder cone along with a couple I just met on Craigslist.
Is that a euphemism for a menage a trois smoking banana peels? No wonder Craig’s List is all perverts.
Blueberries for breakfast. Yum!