Sure. Continue to feed the elitist, liberal millionaires of the entertainment industry while the rest of us poor schmucks try to eke out a living.
My neighbor’s dogs annoy me with their constant barking.
Probably because you keep the curtains open while undressing.
Beef & Barley soup for lunch today.
Are you not aware of the environmental costs of beef? Not to mention the acres of open land used to grow barley. And how much fresh water is consumed in the production of soup?
I was just watching Rachel Maddow on the TIVO.
Sure, don’t miss a second of being reminded about all the inconsistencies that every politician has, every person, ever, has. I’m sure you will enjoy it. You deserve it.
I drink tea.
Tea, tea? This ain’t the UK. Drink American.
I got to eat cookies today.
Cookies? Cookies? This ain’t some fat country. We watch our waistlines. Eat American.
I’m going to have a nice, low-calorie, low-fat, good for your health salad today.
Salad? SALAD? You live, apparently, in the nation with the most overweight citizens. Come on, now. Be patriotic. Think meat. Think sugar. Think carbs, carbs carbs. Eat American!
Today I will spray off the mold on my house.
You are going to kill those poor, innocent little mold with chemicals that will cause cancer to all the people walking by your house? Really?
I so hope Justified wins the Belmont and the Triple Crown!
Are you willing to put some money behind that? I didn’t think so. Hmmph.
I still haven’t gotten to spraying the mold. This couch is too comfy. And it’s Saturday.
Good to know some things in life never change, like your laziness and lack of ambition.
I just dropped some packages off at a UPS store.
It took you three months to remember to send me a birthday present?! Some friend you are.
I have three puppies at home.
Puppies, puppies? Cats are better. Pet American!
A nice cooling rain came today. My garden was thirsty.
Really? Really? All the kids dying right now of dehydration on drought ridden countries all over the world and you’re wasting perfectly good rain water on your damn azaleas? Who hurt you to make you such a sociopath?
Two and two are four.
Congratulations. You just qualified for a cabinet post.
Going to see the Han Solo movie today.
Wassamatter, you’re so overeager you can’t even wait to steal it via Pirate Bay? Instead you want to feed money to Hollywood misogynists like Harvey Weinstein?
I really should cut down on my chocolate intake.
There’s probably a lot more that you could improve on. Oh, and thanks for mentioning chocolate, I’m a little sick and tired of all of you mentioning chocolate and cookies, etc when I don’t have any.
I forgot to buy tissues, I need to go to the store later.
“Tissues,” is it? My, my, aren’t we smug and elitist. Most normal people just say kleenex.
I should probably be more sensitive to copyright issues.
You should probably be more sensitive, period.
My daughter and I went to a yard sale yesterday.
That sounds wonderful! Did you go afterwards to every store that sells the items you got for oh-so-cheap and mocked them for leaving them without the money they needed to raise their children and take care of their elderly relatives, you monster?
Green is my favorite color.
Green, green? That is a communist color. I see where your loyalties lie. Paint American.
My doggy is begging for a treat.