Fascist!
Today is 7-11 Free Slurpee Day. I’ve had three free Slurpees!
As if you need all that sugar!
I’m looking out the window.
We know. Please stop, you’re frightening the children.
The tomatoes in my garden are growing very nicely this year.
That’s inconsiderate, some people are allergic to tomatoes.
I have a lot of errands to run tomorrow.
Procrastinate much?
Dolphins may be as intelligent as primates.
They’re certainly smarter than you.
I like watching funny YouTube videos.
You are a peach, we were hoping there was something that would occupy your small mind.
Why?
Congratulations. That makes you a honorary savant or an honorary dweeb.
I’m going to see a minor league baseball game with my grandsons tomorrow.
Baseball - making kids resent old people since 1850!
My new shoes are already falling apart.
Your foot stink could dissolve metal, never mind new shoes.
Saturday. My only day off of work!
It’s hard work trying to support all of your bad habits isn’t it?
I just had a Klondike bar.
Wonderful. The gazillion dollar conglomerate that is Unilever certainly could use more of your money.
The beach is nice.
I wish the people were.
Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs is quite impressive.
Sitting around watching tv again instead of doing something worthwhile, we’re not surprised.
There’s a pesty fly in the house.
Of course there is. Why are you surprised? Is Autumn your cleaning season?
I massage my wife’s feet.
Meow [whip crack]
It’s time for me to fly. I got to get myself free.
So, then, disregarding all of your responsibilities again, is that it?
I have towels in the dryer.
Wasting electricity again. Towels dryer on the line or a towel rack.
I just bought a new cookbook at the library for 50 cents.
Big whoop! If you had the slightest concern for how massively underfunded our nation’s libraries are, you would have voluntarily contributed 50 dollars!
I think I’ll have soup for dinner tonight.
You probably didn’t take the time to make homemade soup, did you? Would it kill you to make a bit of an effort?
The zucchini we had tonight was good.