Sure, why not engage in sloth tonight so you can finish up your daily seven deadly sins in style.
I could use another cup of coffee.
That is so outrageous! Do you have any idea how hard the often starving farmers have to work just to fill one single cup of your precious coffee? Dawn to dusk, my friend, dawn to friggin’ dusk.
I’ve always been impressed by the good works Mother Theresa did.
Mother Theresa, what a glory hound?! Acting all high and mighty with her good works and benevolent acts of charity. How dare she make people like me feel bad because I can’t live up to her standards!
I’m told that the brown rice I’ve been eating is good for me.
Are you kidding me! It’s brown! Do you even know where that’s been? I’ll tell you, in poop. Yes, poop! And do you have any idea how long the often starving farmers have to slog through those poop filled paddies just to fill one single bowl with your precious brown rice? Dawn to dusk, my friend, dawn to friggin’ dusk.
I saw a flock of geese going south for the winter today.
Speaking of poop, have you ever slipped on goose poop? One of the nastiest things going. And don’t ever eat anything in front of a flock of geese. They will walk right up to you and try to take it out of your hand.
Despite the chilly weather, I sat outside and ate a pint of Ben & Jerry’s strawberry cheesecake ice cream today without good interference.
So I guess you’ll be complaining that your jeans are getting too tight. I would’ve liked some ice cream, so that was rather selfish, Annie.
I’m going to cook a roast for dinner.
That’s possibly the most disgusting thing I’ve seen posted here! Have you ever been to a slaughter house. It’s horrible! Can’t you eat leaves or something? Also, do you have any idea how hard and long the often starving ranchers have to work just to fill one single roasting pan with your precious meat? Dawn to dusk, my friend, dawn to friggin’ dusk.
I love when the weather turns chilly and the leaves turn such stunning shades of red and yellow.
I saw a tree that I wanted to snap a picture of but the cool air activated my sinuses so bad I just cussed a blue streak and drove on. Thanks for that memory.
I wrote a poem.
Yeah? And now you expect us to critique some grubby haiku of teenage angst and lost virginity? BIG DEAL!
Robert Townsend’s “Up the Organisation” is a masterpiece.
Yeah, you probably think the “Beauty and the Beast” remake is a masterpiece, Mister Critic of the Year.
I have strong opinions about everything I know anything about.
And everything you know nothing about, and you expect everyone else to have the same opinions as you because you are the only important person in the universe. Sheeeesh.
I took a nice walk in the park through the fog this morning.
What a knuckleheaded move that was, Annie! You’re so lucky you weren’t mugged or worse. And do you have any idea how long the often starving fog muggers patrol that park just to fill one single pocket with your precious belongings? Dawn to dawn, my friend, dawn to friggin’ dawn.
My sister quit smoking two years ago and she feels great.
(Darkon that is hilarious)
Right. She only set five buildings on fire and gave two non-smokers lung cancer before quitting.
I worked late Saturday night and had to walk home from the highway bus stop, but didn’t meet any starving bus stop muggers on the way.
While we are all happy you are safe, the walk probably did you good after consuming that pint of Ben and Jerry’s by yourself.
Sometimes it seems like nothing ever gets accomplished at work.
Certainly not by you.
I think whoever invented Cookies 'N Cream ice cream is a genius.
Tesla and Edison were geniuses. The person who “invented” Cookies ‘N Cream ice cream was some ninny who spilled the cookies he was munching out on into the churn after his 420 break in the restroom. And do you have any idea how long the often starving janitor has to work just to fill one single trash bin with the discarded roaches that doper leaves in there? Dusk to dawn, my friend, dusk to friggin’ dawn.
There was a full moon last night.
Will you please stop dropping your pants? NOBODY wants to see your “full moon.”
I’m glad the Bush funeral coverage is over.
WTF!?! A bush funeral? When I was, like, six we had a funeral for a fish, but who in hell buries a bush? And do you have any idea how long the often starving mourners have to wait just for one single peek at your precious bush… OMG! Now look what you’ve done—I’m starting to get aroused! You sicko!
My wife is very satisfied sexually.
Everyone needs a fantasy.
I wonder what it’s like on the seashore right now.
Well, you could stop fantasizing and wondering and get some freaking work done.
The dogs have a toy duck that quacks.