That’s a light bulb, silly, quit staring at it. Are you on crack?
Reminds me to pick up light bulbs at Wal-Mart.
You gonna pay for 'em this time?
I’m looking at my season’s first on-the-ground snow and I am not happy.
Complaining about things you just can’t change again, that’s just so typical of you.
Naps are nice, but I don’t always get the chance to take one.
Ha, yeah. Aren’t naps just great? No. No they aren’t. I mean, they sound nice in principle, but the reality is that you wake up having barely rested, you feel like crap for the rest of the day, destroy your Circadian Rhythm for several days , and then will have trouble sleeping that night. Stop peddling them.
18-year old Saudi citizen Rahaf Mohammed al-Qunun has landed successfully on Toronto, having been granted asylum after fleeing from her family and barricading herself in the Bangkok airport for a week.
Where did you meet her. A terrorist training camp? You should pick better friends.
My cat is staring into space. I think she sees a ghost.
Cats are evil. She’s probably plotting your demise.
It’s really cold out today, but we didn’t get the snowstorm. Praise Be!
Yeah, you sent it here. Thanks a bunch.
I experienced my first exploding light bulb last night.
You whine like a mule, and yet here you are alive, well, and posting.
I never did get the opportunity to read the O. Henry book I was planning to read during the holidays.
Yeah, you’re going to get to some classic. Right!
I got a good cookbook at the library today
So you’re finally gonna learn to cook your own food instead of blowing the paycheck on takeout junk? Yeah, good luck with that.
Many of these entries really make me laugh!
Oh pleez, you are so transparent. We know you’re just flattering us so we’ll like you. Not gonna work.
My cat peed on my electric blanket so I had to wash it by hand, which was about as tedious and unwieldy as you’d expect.
Cats are evil. She tried to kill you by short-circuiting your electric blanket.
It’s finally warmed up today.
It’s friggin’ Winter, you twit! Are you one of those crackpots who are actually hoping for global warming even though it means the end of life as we know it? I hope your house is one of the first to go when the oceans rise.
Valentine’s Day is coming soon, and I’ve made romantic plans for my spouse and I.
Your spouse yawns and rolls eyes at your yearly commitment to pay attention to the marriage.
All I can think about is that my birthday comes up before Valentine’s Day.
So you expect your poor, overstressed spouse to cough up for two presents? Greedy bastard.
So now we have a dog.
You are so unbelievably selfish! Don’t you know there are poor Asian kids who would love to have your dog?
I wonder what the Chinese found on the far side of the moon?
Oooookay… cool it with your unhealthy obsession with Asians, David Duke.
Eating healthy is a good idea.
Not getting on my ass about my nacho habit is a better idea.
Bacon is over rated.
Not if you’re a pig. They happen to like their bacon.
I’m a vegetarian breakfast person, myself.
Listen: If God did not want us to eat little piggies, he would not have made them so tasty.
The burn on my arm has healed.