You think? Exaggerate much? You need to rein it in a bit, pal.
Dinner was very good tonight.
There are children in Africa starving to death who could have used it more, you jerk!
I’m enjoying the Celtic music I’m listening to right now.
Don’t appropriate another ethnicity. You re already pushing the race card with that dolphin stuff.
I hid eggs way too many times today.
For Og’s sake, just let the kids have them! Taking them back just so you can make the younglings look for them all over again while you cackle maniacally is cruel in a sad, pathetic way.
I had rabbit fricassee for lunch today.
Say what? On Easter?!! That’s just…I mean…c’mon for crissake.
I didn’t buy Easter candy this year.
So you can watch your children (or grandchildren) cry? The rabbit means more to you than them? Talk about cruelty.
That black hole photo is such impressive science.
What about the impressive budget we blew to get it?
The weather is so nice nice and spring-like today.
Go die.
I just finished mowing the yard.
So… the smell of suffering, of bleeding grass, turns you on, eh? Perv.
I need a new dog. I miss my Mackie.
Was he really that tasty?
I prefer soups made from home made stocks, as opposed to store bought varieties.
Are homemade stocks really that tasty?
Today is Earth Day
Shouldn’t every damn day be Earth Day? I’m tired of people that think they can trash it the other 364 days a year.
I love naps, I wish I could take them more often.
That’s just another way of saying, “I am a lazy ass”, uh good for you.
I have tons of leftovers In my fridge.
Beck, meet Patx2, re: “trashing Earth”, two posts above. Eat your food - something died so it could just rot in your fridge?
My dog was female, Cardigan.
You made your dog into a sweater? You sicko…
There once was a man from Nantucket.
who, let me guess…bought himself a bucket? How dull. Look, if you’re going to start writing limericks you should at least aim for humor or failing that, ribaldry.
My washing machine needs to be replaced.
It must not have been a very good model because you never used it that often.
I had a strange dream last night.
That wasn’t a dream. It really happened, and I sure wouldn’t want to be you right now. Or any other time for that matter.
I saw a flying saucer land in the woods behind my house last night.
Lay off the hallucinogens, please.
I only waited a few minutes for the bus today.
Yeah, right. Do you believe in government conspiracies, too?
My wisteria is blooming.