Oh no reason eh, no REASON! How about being a man! How about being an American! Howzat for REASONS! You damn hippie, Communist, Socialist!
Support your local library.
Oh, yeah, indeed… let’s throw a ridiculous amount of taxpayer money into an empty building that nobody visits because you can literally access to all the information inside of it through a small device in your pocket. Wonderful idea.
SPACE LEFT BLANK
Just like your head.
I supported my local library by going to their book sale last weekend.
And you gave them what? 1.50$ for a book of recipes. With their budget, they’ll blow through that pittance in a nanosecond. Way to go.
My oncologist says my last PET scans results were very encouraging. (Can’t wait to see the outrage to THAT.)
What does PETA say to that. I’m sure they oppose using PET scans and CAT scans and LAB reports.
I’m glad about the onological report.
Good one. But ONOlogical report? That would only be if my oncologist was Yoko Ono and THAT would be too horrible to contemplate, not only would she not know how to treat cancer, I would have to listen to her music, look at her art etc… Shudder, just shudder…
I’m eating an apple.
What? Do you think Johnny Appleseed did all that planting just so you could eat a Mexican apple? Where’s your loyalty?
I had burritos for dinner.
Please, for the love of God, place a dozen sticks of incense between your butt and your chair.
Today, I felt positive and that led me to smile.
And everyone you smiled at wondered if you were a pervert or just crazy.
I’ll admit it: I’m still crazy after all these years.
Antipsychotic meds and electroshock not working, huh. They’ll never let you out now, you know.
My cat says meow.
Your cat says meow? Notify the presses. And buy some Meow Mix.
I just had some coffee and Red Velvet cookies. Yummy!
That was your addicted brain saying yummy. The rest of your body is saying help.
My car is white on the outside and black on the inside.
What are you? Racist?
I’m planning a new flower bed. I pick up plants tomorrow.
Great. More pollen for allergy sufferers.
I got a great new outfit at a yard sale: red pants, white shirt, red sweater.
That’ll go just great with your red MAGA hat at your next Trump rally.
Baseball our national pastime, take me out to the ballgame!
Stick to typing it. Your singing could make the baby Jesus cry.
Nothing like driving on a newly paved road.
…aaaand, there goes the environment, folks! Good luck driving in yer 200 degree per day, Waterworld future!
Another weekend relaxing and gazing at the distant mountains, ah, the beauty of nature!
I guess you don’t notice they’re spraying Chem trails. Wake up. The truth is out there.
My doggie got groomed, she smells good.
What about you, are you still dealing with that extreme body odor problem?
I got a lot of work done today, I really don’t get paid enough.
Well, stop whining about it to everyone within earshot of your cubicle! Stride up to the boss’s office and DEMAND that raise! Be a Man! Be an American! Instead of whinging and cringing and thinking everyone owes you a living like some damn hippie, Communist, Socialist!
That could have been a tad over the top.