Why should you, it’s such a strain on your meager sense of humor.
Spring is here, the weather’s beautiful!
But did you call your mother to see if she wanted a ride to the grocery store in this nice weather, even though she says she understands you have a busy life and she doesn’t want to bother you?
I’m not interested this year in the NCAA Basketball Tournament.
What is that of which you speak?
It has been a whole week since played these games, I think.
Well! Glad that you decided to honor us with your presence, then, your Majesty. We’re all sure you had so much more important issues to deal with.
I think that Avengers: Endgame is going to do well at the box office.
Just what the world needs: Another super hero team movie!
Jussie Smollett has killed his career
Concerned about yet another overrated actor with a screwed up personal life are we? Get a life.
Dave’s Killer Bread English muffins are the best.
Yes, the world needs MORE carbs and carb-faced prats!
Brown eggs do not dye well for Easter eggs.
I think that we all know what you mean with that, and you can stove your racist rhetoric inside your MAGA hat.
There’s caffeine in coffee.
That statement is so dull, there must not be enough caffeine in coffee to jumpstart YOUR flatline brain.
The Founding Fathers of America were brilliant men.
Oh, yes, brilliant white men of a closed group. Brilliant, riiiiighhhhht.
The Easter Bunny will rise again.
Did you just call the Easter Bunny a vampire or a zombie? You sick bastard…
British quiz shows are brilliant.
Don’t you know that 90% of the time, when the British say something’s “brilliant” they’re being incredibly sarcastic. Like Harry Potter calling Ron’s latest dumb idea “brilliant”. So yeah, British quiz shows, just “brilliant”.
Hitchcock movies are classic thrillers.
When did you become a self proclaimed movie critic? You’re always pushing your opinions on the rest of us.
Well, tomorrow is Monday again, that means getting up early for work, I don’t like getting up early.
The big, bad world doesn’t owe you a thing. Get over it.
Nice mild day today, got the perennial garden trimmed back and weeded.
A “weed” is simply any plant growing where you don’t want it to be. Who are you to impose your will on Nature? Frickin’ botanico-imperialist running dog, that’s who.
Still patiently waiting for my torn hamstring to heal, so I can get back to running.
And what were you running from? Karma apparently.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Don’t read those horror tales around my babies. Your fascination with them is unsettling.
I looking for a good book series to start on.
Let me guess, you already have picked out Humpty Dumpty and other nursery rhymes.
I like the Sultantheme here now that I can see highlighted text again.
Oh, wow. Covfefe uses big words. What a genius!
I’m getting extra work at the store this week.
Extra work - that’s a strange euphemism for dropping twice more “witty” one liners on patrons than usual.
I saw no reason to watch the NCAA men’s basketball championship last night.