Don’t tell me but, It Happened One Night!
WTF is that on your back a pentacle, Im mean is that a new tattoo?
What’s it your business what tattoo I have on my back? Besides, better a pentacle on my back than a tentacle, you know what I mean?
I don’t actually have any tattoos.
What do you want, a cookie?
Actually, I could go for a soft oatmeal cookie.
Say hi to your dentist and dietician for me.
Contributed to veterans to take down my Christmas lights, I get too dizzy climbing ladders now.
Next you’re gonna need a safety harness to get up on the step ladder to reach the cookie shelf I suppose too!
Open waters in January, no shanty towns on ice this year.
“Shanty towns on the ice”? Is that some Minnesota/Michigan, freeze-your-butt-off, “Grumpy Old Men”, ice-fishing, yearly torture, kind of thing? Sounds like no fun at all and you should be glad you don’t have to do it this year.
Can’t decide what my next benign comment should be.
Benign, banal, bland. A lot of words come up. I’m sure you won’t disappoint.
I am clever.
Cleverness, the downfall of the clever.
I need to rewatch Death to Smoochy.
Really, you need to waste your time so badly? That movie isn’t “So Bad it’s Good”, it’s “So Bad it’s Awful. Your loss.
Granny Smith apples are so good, I’m going to buy some tomorrow.
That’s a bit lazy, don’t you think? There’s no time like the present, but you have to procrastinate until tomorrow.
I’m glad we didn’t get a lot of snow.
Glad for global warming? So, temperatures can rise and folks get inundated by floods and hurricanes and tornados and superstorms, just so YOU don’t have to shovel snow? Wow.
Bought a piano today.
Mazel tov. The most expensive and largest single-purpose vase stand you will ever own.
I haven’t checked Thread Games in about a year, I think, till now.
You couldn’t have stayed away longer?
It’s f-f-f-fucking c-c-c-cold here.
Like my Dad used to say STOP WHINING AND PUT ON A SWEATER!
Watching “Beautiful, the Carole King Musical”.
Enough with the jukebox musicals. Can’t Broadway come up with something original?
I got a nice peach hat and scarf to wear these freezing cold days.
I’ll alert the fashion police, in case you get lost in a snow drift.
WHen’s the next long weekend?
A weekend is two days: Saturday and Sunday. How can it be long? Is there such a thing as a short minute?
Finally! Some nice winter weather.
You say that NOW, I suppose you DON’T CARE that, what, 7-10 feet of snow was dumped on Newfoundland last week. You’ll be whining once the next climate change superstorm dumps 7-10 feet of snow on YOU!
Whistle while you work.
WTF is with millenials and their crappy Apple-approved pop music that has so much damn whistling? Shaed, Fitz and the Tantrums, Peter Bjorn and John - all whistling. Listen to real rock and roll, you entitled brats.
I found a dime on the sidewalk this morning.
Just like you to pick it up and not leave it for the indigent.
I’m late for my shrink appointment playing this silly game.