And just because I don’t have a toaster oven, you feel superior to me? That’s a pathetic way to build your self-esteem.
I’m reading a trashy mystery novel on my Kindle.
What do you have against old-fashioned paper books, you obnoxious techie hipster?!
The Sound of Music is my favorite movie!
Anyone who likes The Sound of Music has no business passing judgment on trashy mystery novels OR how they’re read.
My favorite entertainment is professional wrestling.
And you have the temerity to diss someone for liking The Sound of Music?
ASL should be offered in schools as a foreign language option.
-“BB”-
Foreign? Are you even aware what the “A” stands for?
Penguins are cute.
However they taste like anchovies
I like anchovies on my pizza with pineapple
Pineapple on pizza is almost as bad as eating penguins.
Koala bears are cuter than penguins.
Puppies are cuter than koalas and penguins, when is the last time you cuddled a penguin or a koala anyway?
I love shih tzus they’re so sweet and have fun personalities.
Og Bless you! You know, it sounds like a dog allergy with all that dog hair floating around your head.
Mask up it’s flu season.
You expect people to buy into your woke “germ theory”?!?!
I could use a cup of hot tea.
A whole cup? In my day, we got a teaspoonful of hot tea… and we were thankful.
My dog, Luna, is a very happy girl. Sometimes she cocks her ears so that she looks like Yoda.
How dare you call people who suffer from syntactic disorder dogs, you ablest monster.
My cat likes to climb on to my shoulder.
That feline is dominating you, soon you might find yourself with a cat on your other shoulder. Then what??!
I just had the last chocolate from Margie’s Candies gold box. Coconut cream filled dark chocolate exterior. Two bites I’m not a heathen.
Just 2 bites, but you didn’t bother to share, or ask if anyone else might enjoy the last piece,
I have a new blanket, it’s so cozy.
Great, now we have to put up with writers who don’t know any better than to use a comma splice.
I had lunch with a friend today.
You’re bragging about eating when millions of children around the world go hungry!
I successfully rebooted my modem and router.
Sure, boast about your so-called successes.
A raven flew over my lawn this morning.
Well go ahead and yell at it to get out of your airspace why don’t ya., rude.
I like January weather.
Were we taking a poll?
I haven’t been sleeping well.
Well well what what? Good great whatever take a nap you need it.
It’s winter I can skip the bath. No one will know.