Fuck Clippit. I hate that annoying little bastard, especially when he gets all smarmy and taps on the screen to remind you he’s there. I know you’re there, asshole! I didn’t ask you to pop up in the first place!
The Office Assistant!
I love him!
I hope you guys aren’t talking about paper clips in terms of clipping actual PAPERS.
Because paper is so 1999, ya know.
tdn has the right idea. I am gonna make a SPROING right now. Unfortunately I have no co-workers, so I will have to try to land it on my dog.
Dear Abby,
I love all paper clips–big ones, regular sized, coated, bulldog, mutant, plastic, talking. . . In fact, every day when I come home from school, I find that I have unconsciously stolen 3 or 4 paper clips by safely secreting them in my pocket. I place them lovingly in the tray on my dresser (where they multiply), vow to return them to my desk the following day, conveniently forget, rinse and repeat. In this way, I have singlehandedly bankrupted my school district’s office supply fund. I’ve considered counseling, but I could never get the paper clips to agree to attend the sessions with me. They just ignore me, happily collecting dust and mocking me with the occasional escape to the floor and vacuum cleaner tussle. My friends say our relationship is dysfunctional. Is it time to move on? Sign me . . .
Clipped and Questioning in ME
I use only the large ones. I throw away all the small ones. But ridges, I don’t need no stinking ridges.
BTW, I once worked for a boss (3-star military) who insisted that the smaller end of the paperclip be on the front of the clipped papers.
Why, that’s ridiculous! Eveyone knows you break the small end of the egg.
:rolleyes:
There’s any other way? Small part of clip on the front = easier to flick through sheaf of papers, without losing too much of the top corner.
C’mon … you can tell us … you been using them back-asswards all this time? 
No, I actually did adopt that system for the reasons you stated. Trust me, would I lie?
That’s actually the basis of a sci-fi short story, “Or All the Seas with Oysters” by Avram Davidson. Except it’s safety pins rather than paper clips. It won the 1958 Hugo award for best short story.
Somewhere along the way, in my so called life as a Sci-Fi fanboy, I must have read that and had it leave a lasting impression. I knew I was taking it from somewhere, I just knew not where.
IIRC Jerry Seinfeld had a routine about the whole paper clip/unidentified widget in the junk drawer/wire hanger life cycle, and also the odd sock life cycle (sometimes they don’t make it, ever see that abandoned sock on the side of the road?).
I want to sneak into this guy’s house while he’s sleeping and dump a huge bag of big paperclips onto his bed.
[QUOTE=AHUNTER3]
The purpose of big paper clips is the manual ejection of CDs when your CD drive goes wonky.
It all dates back to the Macintosh floppy emergency eject pinhole, of course. Things like CDROM drives just followed suit when they came along.
[QUOTE]
Wow! I never noticed that little hole there before. You put it there didn’t you? (Looks around suspiciously.)
Medium-sized Paperclips are Da Bomb.
I want to sneak into this guy’s house while he’s sleeping and dump a huge bag of big paperclips onto his bed.
[QUOTE=AHUNTER3]
The purpose of big paper clips is the manual ejection of CDs when your CD drive goes wonky.
It all dates back to the Macintosh floppy emergency eject pinhole, of course. Things like CDROM drives just followed suit when they came along.
[QUOTE]
Wow! I never noticed that little hole there before. You put it there didn’t you? (Looks around suspicously.)
Medium-sized Paperclips are Da Bomb.
And let’s not forget resetting confused Palms.
Some of best friends are big paper clips.
Ok that is a little on the sad side.
Oh my, that doesn’t sound kosher.
Are those things removable? Reusable?
What sucks is when you don’t have one, and you start looking at the clip part of a ballpoint pen cap thinking… Suuure, that can fit in there no problem!
::maneuvers cap to an angle where just the very tip of the chiseled end is headed towards the reset button. In frustration, then uses thumbnail to try to whittle down the tip. Then realizes the stylus fits there fine. Smacks self upside head.::
The French call them “trombones.” That makes 'em seem really big.
Easier and cheaper than a horse head. You could probably sprinkle some blood around the area for added effect.
You’re all missing part of the life-cycle.
It goes Paper-clips to wire coathangers as suggested. But then once the hangers have built up to critical mass, they merge and form a shopping trolley, which tries to migrate to the nearest shopping area to be with it’s mates. Unfortunately that’s a hard journey, and if you keep your eyes open you’ll see the sad remains of many a trolley that didn’t make it on the side of the road, in creeks, etc.