Cisco , I want to first say I got no sense of BS from your OP. Just a lot of pain and ambivalence about how to act on this new information.
I say call the police and report what you have been told and what your suspicions are as soon as possible. You also mentioned that Brad was a scoutmaster. I could not determine if this was still current. However, if you are aware of any capacities in which he is “officially” with young children please share your story with those in charge. Even if you feel you have to do this anonymously.
Children need all the protection they can get from adults. All of us. Tell someone. Now. I agree that you may be a mandated reporter since you are ordained but not sure on that, I know I am as a nurse. Regardless of that, I think you will do what is right as I read in your story the worries of a thoughtful and caring person.
Cisco, you know what the right thing to do is, just pluck up the courage and do it.
You can tell the cops his name, and the name of his boyfriend.
You can tell them what he looks like.
You can tell them where he worked.
You can tell them he used to be a scout leader.
You can tell them where he used to live.
You can (if you want) tell them what happened when he tried to come on to you.
You can (if they agree) give the names of any witnesses to the incident on Friday.
It’s not up to you to find out what did or did not happen, just to tell them what you heard and saw, and what you believe may have happened. Let them trace him and find out what’s going on, it’s their job.
Even if nothing comes of it this time, maybe when a kid does make a complaint in the future, there’ll be a note in his file “Accusations made by Cisco, 2004” and they’ll have more ammunition to bring him down.
I agree that the OP is not making stuff up. The only thing that I see might have been a point that even sven could have possibly been trying in some abstract sense to make, was that it would be horrible if this guy was falsely accused. Or rather was falsely convicted. From what I understand it was the 17-year-old boyfriend that was bragging about Brad sleeping with 13-year-olds. Is it possible he was lying? Did Brad confirm it (if so, I missed that in the OP, sorry).
I also agree that you should report this to the police, and stop wasting time reading replies to your post. Just do it. But if there is any doubt in your mind about the guilt of Brad, please be sure to tell the police everything - including who said what and reasons for particular actions.
And Bricker is totally right. Brad and his boyfriend may not believe there is anything wrong with having sex with children, so won’t quit just because you try to tell him what he’s doing is wrong. Call the police.
Exactly. There’s your answer right there, Cisco. No, you don’t have enough to be calling 911 on the guy. But you have heard allegations, and you realize they’re unsettling, and you have enough information to be able to identify “Brad” and let them investigate it further. It’s not as if they’re necessarily going to get your report (anonymous or otherwise) and immediately send a squad of people to burst open his door and drag him off to prison. They know the law, they know what to make of these situations, it’s what they do for a living. The “I don’t really talk to the guy, and I don’t know his phone number” comment doesn’t hold water; they’ll know what to do and how to investigate. You don’t have to have any “real” evidence. That’s their job.
And Bricker’s comment is exactly right, about the “speculation about hormones.” It does sound like you’ve got a long history with this guy and a lot of stuff going on that you need to sort out to get to the heart of the situation and what’s disturbing about it. His unsolicited advance on you when you were 20 – it was seriously uncool, and very inappropriate, so don’t think for one second this is a defense of that – isn’t really relevant, because you were both adults at the time. Whether the boyfriend’s appearance or dependence on “Brad” made you uncomfortable is irrelevant; all that’s relevant is his age, his allegations, and whether or not this is an exploitative (and illegal, and inappropriate) relationship.
I only bring that up because although I think even sven’s comments were off-base, they did point out that your OP describes two situations: the one that was wrong and made you deservedly uncomfortable, and the one that’s wrong and is likely criminal. But you won’t have any effect by enouraging or threatening him to get counselling; he probably doesn’t see anything wrong at all with what he’s doing. He probably thinks, as your friends seemed to, that his behavior was all just a normal part of coming out of the closet.
Yes, go to the police, though Badge has likely picked this up as have the SDMB admins. Do note that you have no evidence. But what you’ve related is likely enough to get them to start probing. And you will be doing the right thing: youngsters are emotionally vulnerable.
According to AgeOfConsent.com, sex with a sixteen year old in Arizona is a “Class 6 felony.” Even if you can’t prove anything about thirteen year olds, the cops might still investigate his boyfriend.
Disclaimer: I am not advocating a particular course of action, but I thought you might want to know this information.