(Let me preface this by saying that I’m in engineering grad school and am surrounded by other nerds all day)
A few friends and I were joking around in the library and some how I commented that the NRO has a moonbase that they don’t know about. They asked “What is it called? Moonbase 1” then the other guy said “No, Moonbase Alpha” and then, without any real thought I immediately responded with
“No, they call it Moonbase epsilon because”:
it’s really small
Thank you. Thank you. Applause…
They thought that was very witty and a great comeback and upon reflection that was very snappy.
Lou Santiago, co-host of MuscleCar, one of the car shows on Spike’s Power Block, was on an episode where he was rebuilding the differential and axle…known in the business as a “rear end”
He said something along the lines of:
“Make sure you lube up the shaft before you slide it in the rear end”
Picked up a pizza with my friend. He was carrying it since I drove. He doesn’t know where I want him to put the pizza so he asks, “You want me to hold it in my hand or stick it in the rear?”
So yesterday my girlfriend was at work and she was discussing hepititis. She found out that someone she knows has it, and his kids don’t. (This was the part she didn’t understand) She called her mother (a nurse) to ask about it, but she wasn’t home. She then decided to call her sister (also a nurse) and asked. She was explaining things to my gf and everything. Well, at the end of the conversation, gf said “Alright, I think I got it…”
She meant the information but of course, hilarity ensued because sister though she meant hepititis. I’m glad I got to post in here about this, because I got a giggle out of it…
A friend of mine was in a choir rehearsal in college, discussing the gender neutrification of scripture/liturgy (“God” instead of “he” etc.). Somebody asked whether the same needed to be done in reference to Jesus.
“No,” quoth the choir director, “because we know that Jesus was male.”
Quoth my friend, “yeah, the bible says he was circumcised. That’s a pretty good tip off there.”
There was a thread here about why we humans have knee caps, and one Doper said that without them, our legs would bend both ways and we would walk like the Straw-man in the Wizard of Oz.
I told that to my SO, and we both laughed.
The next day, I was relating to another thread that said that hummingbirds are the only bird that can fly backwards.
Without missing a beat, My SO asked if it was because they didn’t have kneecaps.
Talking to a bunch of kids about their hobbies and collections, as a preface to talking about one of my own; I asked them to guess what it was that I collect; they asked all sorts of questions, including “About how big are they?”.
I replied “Ooooh, about the size of my hand”
They never guessed what it was, so I spilled the beans; I collect photographs of lost gloves.
