but yesterday I almost asked the question, “Why?”
Ten years ago, as I was emerging from a vicious divorce, I briefly got involved with a coworker (one six-hour date, necking in her apartment afterward, long lingering goodbye at her door at 3 a.m., etc.), and she informed in a few days, tightly that she didn’t want to get involved further, and kinda brusquely rejected my lame suggestioon that we might be friends or sumfin. “Let’s just be colleagues, okay?” and not anyu choice in the matter, I said “Sure.”
We’ve had almost no contact since (it’s a big organization, and we’ve run itno each other once or twice a ear, and been civil and all). But yesterday, I had a conversation with her about work-related stuff and we got along okay, and I was tempted to ask her what was on her mind ten years ago. Specifically,
-
Did she just decide that she wasn’t as attracted to me as she’d thought at first?
-
Did she hear stuff about me (my divorce, or work-related gossip, or who knows what) that scared her off?
-
Was it that in the light of day she felt that my current situation (money worries, emotional stuff, etc) represented a frightening amount of instability for her?
-
Did she feel that she just wasn’t interested in a romantic involvement with anyone? (She was and is single and not dating then, and maybe not now.)
and maybe some other possibilities. My question is, I know I’m probably better off not lifting this particular rock to see what’s crawling underneath, but I’m curious about what was going on ten years ago. Remind me, if you’d be so kind, of some good reasons that I’ll have to learn to live with my unsatisfied curiosity