I stole a guy's hat a long time ago.

When I was 25 (so, 15 years ago) I met some guy at the bar and he offered me a ride home. He was wearing a new ball cap and he was so happy about it because it had cost him $50 and was specially sized (not the adjustable kind). Anyway, I managed to talk him into giving me the hat, because drunk-me thought that was brilliant - he’d HAVE to call me for a date so I could give the hat back. I gave him my number but didn’t get his. I hung the hat on my bed post and waited for this guy to call. He never did. Now, maybe he did - I had a horrible tenant at the time so it’s very possible that I never got the message. I kept that hat for years hoping this dude would phone even just so I could return it to him. He was from out of town and we had no friends in common so I couldn’t track him down even if I wanted to back then. I eventually gave the hat to a later boyfriend. But to this very day I still feel bad about stealing some random stranger’s new hat.

What I need to know is: Do guys really care about that sort of thing?

A guy-friend told me that he probably wrote it off when it happened, but I still feel guilty.

I had a girl take my hat once, with similar intentions, and it just pissed me off. I was only like 17 at the time though.

Frankie says relax.

I had a girlfriend “borrow” one of my dress shirts.
She looked SO F’n hot wearing it (with nothing else on) that I really didn’t miss it when we broke up.

I had a straw cowboy hat that spent a great amount of time “taco-ing”. This girl kept pestering me to let her wear it one night while I was mixing a show. Finally relented and seconds later she and my hat were gone. 10+ years on, I still want to stab her in the eye.



The guy probably didn’t worry about it much, but it speaks well of you that you still feel bad about it.

I have gifted a lot of hats to girls. They smiled said thank you. No problem.

He’s probably somewhere remembering and ruing the date he failed to take. :slight_smile:

That was YOU?

If it bent him out of shape too badly, you would have heard about it. Now, for the sake of any current guy in your life: forget it.

Look at it this way…you said he was not exactly sober, so what would have been the difference if he had bought you several drinks and maybe dinner = $50.00?

Same money out the window and maybe he just needed the attention of a hot young girl that night and considered it worth it.

Now if you had stolen it without him knowing, well that would be a different thing - but come on, you gave him your number so let it go.

Back in college there was a super pretty girl on the campus. You could say to someone “You know that one real pretty brunette with the long neck?” and people would immediately know who you meant even if they didn’t personally know her. I guess she was friends with a girl my roommate knew 'cause one day the three of them came into our dorm room. We talked a little, she looked at my music collection and borrowed a cassette (10,000 Maniacs “In My Tribe”). Naturally, I assumed this would at least lead to a second meeting, she had my phone number, etc.

Instead I never heard from her again. My roommate didn’t really know her himself but asked his friend and she said she’d mention it but refused to give her number or anything. I didn’t see her around on campus for a week or two and by the time I spied her she had gone from “Really pretty girl I’d love to know” in my mind to “Bitch who stole my tape”. Decades later and she still holds that spot in my mind – I can only sort of picture what she looked like but I remember that she scammed my album.

(Before anyone says “let it go”, this only resurfaced in my mind because of the OP. And I later bought the album used on CD and it was the earlier pressing that still had their cover of “Peace Train” on it so go me)

Similarly, a gf wanted to borrow a sweater as she was going home (the weather turned chilly). I suspected she was going flake out on me, so I gave her one I didn’t like any more. Sure enough, as soon as she got home, she called me and broke up over the phone. Never saw her or the sweater again.

Do we remember? hell yes! Do we get over it? Sure. Do we trust random women with our stuff? Not me, at least.

It’s okay. Though the guy was left with severe trust issues and went through a period of terrible depression, he eventually found peace an solace through art therapy. He channeled the negativity into positive action and is now a celebrated children’s author. I present two modern
classics by Jon Klassen:

This is Not My Hat

and the companion:

I Want My Hat Back

10 years ago, after a college lecture, I found an awesome golf cap (not this one, but similar) that someone had left behind. I didn’t know whose hat it was, the lecture was 500+ students. The hat was made in Ireland, had multicolored patches, and was tres trendy. Nowadays I would turn something like that in to lost and found. But back then, I was selfish and kept it. I’m sorry, Irish guy. I wore the shit out of that hat, though (until the guilt caught up with me).

I’m a guy, I remember that stuff - for at least as long as I would wish to still own that particular item and don’t. Until this guy got a new custom hat he would likely remember with regret losing the one he had.

But what I most remember is a girl I briefly dated who, two years after I last heard from her (she apparently had moved far away), mailed me back a CD that she had borrowed with a brief note of apology. The CD didn’t really mean that much to me, and I never heard from her again but I always respected her taking the time to do that - good karma for her I hope.

Obligatory Sam Kinison link…

I wouldn’t call that stealing since he gave it to you voluntarily and didn’t pursue getting it back.

Thank you for your replies, everyone. I guess I can clear my conscience because I genuinely wanted to return the hat but simply never got the opportunity. I feel better now, 15 years later. :slight_smile:

Followed by Rev Billy…

At least both do wear hats