No, no, no. You should have agreed with them.
“It’s about fucking time! The goddamn motherfuckers promoting this shit should be strung up by their balls! Sign me the fuck up!”
How could you, Tengu? How could you? The horrors! The humanity! I’m so ashamed! sniff 
I had when, when I was about 11, call our house and get me. This is the conversation:
“May I speak to your daddy?”
“No, he’s in the shower.”
“Well, why don’t you go and join him?” Said in the most lewd tone ever. It gave me the creeps.
People are weird.
You should have said, “Because today is my brothers turn.”
Yeah. That’s why I answer my phone by saying: “Kaiiiiiii?”
Fuks up the auto-dailers, AND throws the telemarketers off (if they don’t use auto-dialers).
::Taking notes::
How you you pronounce that? and why that word?
New message time. “We know that your privacy is important to you. In support of your wishes, we will not allow you to compromise your anonymity and we will now terminate this call.” <click>
My favorite tactic came from our own F_U_Shakespeare …
Listen to the whole spiel with obvious enthusiasm and when it comes time to yeah-or-nay the deal ask in your most excited voice, “HAVE YOU FOUND JESUS???”
No matter what the answer, start witnessing.
OH, I wish you were around back then.
My favourite technique for tormenting telemarketers used to be to feign interest in their pitch and then subtly give the impression that I was masturbating. Never anything unequivocal, which would let them off the hook – just enough to be disconcerting and make them want to end the call, in spite of the apparent interest.
I wish I had recorded those.
I was at my friends house when she received a telemarketing call. I answered, claiming I was the “she” the telemarketer was trying to reach. She seemed confused at first, but went with it. She was giving away some vacation or something, and at one point mentioned that I could take my girlfriend. I said “Girlfriend? You assume all the women you talk to are lesbians?” She seemed embarrassed and quickly apologized and hung up.
My husband and I were housesitting for his mother while she was on a mission to Ecuador. The funniest call from a telemarketer I got came after I had been married for about 4 months.
TM: Hello, this is [name] from the Illinois FOP. Is this Mrs. [MIL’s and my last name]?
Me: No, she’s in Ecuador.
TM: Well, may I speak with your daddy?
Me: No, he’s in Kansas.
TM: Are you sure?
Me: Of course.
TM: Riiiight… I’ll try back later.
I was 19 at the time, and feeling old. I’m also 6’1" and built like a Valkyrie, so no little girl voice thing going on. I was torn between incredulity and total amusement. It was also gratifying to realize I pissed off the TM without lying or doing anything gross at all. He was the victim of his own ridiculous assumptions.