Mmmmmmmm… no, still not gettin’ it. I mean, what’s the deal? Do you like me or not? 
(Girl Next Door, your response was appropriate and had me snarfing iced tea on my computer. ;))
Esprix
What part of yes didn’t you understand? Do I have to sit on your dick in front of god and everybody, or what?
Besides, it wouldn’t go like that.
First of all, I most assuredly do not sleep nekkid - that “ripe buttock” would be clothed in about three layers of sweats, undies, blankets and whatever else I needed to keep me buns warm.
Secondly, I do not sleep “angelicly” - rumor has it I snore and I’m a bed hog, plus I toss and turn a lot.
And what’s with this “firm ivory chest” thing? Puh-lease - I haven’t worked out in months. Try “sallow pale undeveloped sag” in its place. And, “His halo of unkempt blonde hair falls artistically down the alabaster statuary of his face?” Puh-lease - you’ve been reading Jackie Collins again, haven’t you?
And let me just tell you, I may sleep soundly, but if some strange man crawls into bed with me, Mary, I am grumpy when you wake me up. Now add to that it’s somebody I wasn’t expecting in the middle of the night - plus he’s naked - well, let’s just say I have a fencing foil hanging on my wall, and although I am not proficient in the swishy-poke arts, I can still club you to death with it. Plus my screams and my jumping out of bed would probably wake my housemates, thus having the police called post-haste. I’d hate to see you in jail, dear.
And let’s just say it out loud - I don’t do sex in the morning. No, no, no, no, no. You reach for my “throbbing manhood” and I’ll cut your arm off. And don’t even try to make me recognize who you are, let alone have intelligent conversation, when I’m pre-tea. Few have survived such encounters.
So, all in all, quite romantic, and it gives me the impression that my original suspicion that you might, indeed, have some “thing” for me might be true, but wholly unrealistic.
Now, if you want to hear how I’d do it… 
Esprix
Sure, Esprix! Let’s hear!!!
(Yes, I’m weird. Yer point?)
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Remember: I’m a bottom, semi-hairy, and uncut.
Don’t keep us waiting…
“What part of yes didn’t you understand? Do I have to sit on your dick in front of god and everybody, or what?”
You’d better believe that’s a keeper.
Is it hot in here or is it just me…?
<<sits open-mouthed and staring at her screen.>>
O lordy. Lordy lordy lordy.
“:eek:” indeed…
There’s going to be a slight fog of sensual funk across the planet today, as people read this thread and their hormones go, “SPANG-G-G-G-G.” I love it.
Romance collides with reality…
I’m having a good laugh and enjoying the hell out of this thread. Thanks, guys!
Wow.
No, I believe it’s Matt and Esprix. We have yet to see if you’re hot too.
(Esprix, we’re all waiting)
Holy Fright! I hope no one walks by my desk - I’m blushing.
Matt, you should write romance novels!
Wow.
Hurry up, Esprix! I’m dying of suspense!
Again, wow.
Wow. OK, that settles it - I’m going gay.
BlackKnight: Oh goody! I get a toaster oven!
matt_mcl:
There’s some excellent writing there, and I congratulate you on it. But I have to ask–are you able to include in your stories the real-life peevishness of an Esprix-like character?
I think you need at least one story at that site with the line, “And let’s just say it out loud - I don’t do sex in the morning. No, no, no, no, no. You reach for my “throbbing manhood” and I’ll cut your arm off."
I’ll think about it.
By the way: thanks for your kind words about my writing. I really appreciate it. 
(hugs)