You’re welcome.
Ever see that Friends episode where Joey’s girlfriend (played by that actress who used to be Punky Brewster) kept punching him really hard on the arm and it hurt? She didn’t believe him when he finally told her it hurt. Then she punched Rachel who had the good sense to give her a good swift kick in the leg. That drove home the lesson to her that hitting HURTS.
Any chance you can dare her into somehow sneaking into the lion pit at a nearby zoo? Ask her to “pet” the lions in that special loving way of hers.
I’m kidding, of course.
Just for the record, sound and force have little, if anything, to do with one another. I thump mine rapidly and loudly all the time–and they truly do love it. They prance and wiggle and shove one another out of the way to be the one getting to play “Butt Bongo.” Even the cats. They are clearly not in any pain.
If the animals in question are yelping or flinching, however, that’s a whole other story.
I used to have a cat who enjoyed getting thumped. He was a large (read-fat) cat and it sounded a lot worse then it actually was. Of course, when one stopped hitting him, he come up, rub on you and ask for more… not run away.
Just a couple of thoughts:
Are you sure she is really hitting them as hard as you think and it isn’t just because they are a tad overweight that it makes so much noise. I only mention this because you said that you thought that cats might be to fragile to pet, so you might take any petting out of context, especially if it made noise.
If she really is abusing the animals, before you report it, you will have to get some proof, or at least get someone else to back you up. Very few agencies will do something if it can’t be proven that something is going on. Somehow, I doubt that you will be able to get much cooperation from the husband if he hasn’t done anything yet when his own dog is receiving the same treatment.
This – and her hitting somebody ELSE’S cat, and getting attacked for it – raises serious alarm bells. Indeed, our dogs ADORE getting thumped (thanks, I couldn’t think of a word for it that didn’t sound horrid). I’ve referred to “playing the Isaac” on a few occasions; he’s the lab mix, and is remarkably resonant. And Rusty, the golden, loves being thumped even more. I’ve not known a cat who likes this, but I’m not surprised that there’s some.
There is no way she can innocently not notice a large dog like a lab whining and wincing. Good Lord, once or twice I’ve stepped on a dog paw and oh, the yips! I’m surprised I have any hearing left!
You’ve already made it clear that the way she pets her animals is unacceptable in your eyes – at least, your reaction to the way she treated YOURS ought to have been at least a clue to her. I’d confront her directly about it. Point out that a whining, wincing dog CAN’T be enjoying the attention. If she continues to insist everything is fine, then I’d call in the authorities.
Poor critters.
Report her.
What’s up with her hitting them and thinking she’s “petting” them? Is she slow or something?
You people sicken me. I agree that it’s a horrible thing to do to animals, but did it ever occur to any of you that if this person is as kind and reasonable as to OP describes her to be, that maybe it would be better to CONFRONT her rather than siccing the authority on her?
I mean, come on! What a cowardly thing to do! You just can’t stand to give a close friend direct criticism so you have someone else do it for you? Someone who can potentially fine her or take away her pets. I don’t know in what state they could arrest someone over someting like this, but some people talk as if its a possiblity.
You could actually see your friend put behind bars because you didn’t have guts to assert your opinion? Try showing this page DIRECTLY TO HER before you go calling PETA and Animal Control and bring the whole circus down on her head.
When that person hit Elysian’s cat Elysian already made it clear to her that she was hurting that animal. If after all this time Katie hasn’t gotten it through her thick skull that was she’s doing is wrong, then perhaps some tough love is in order.
Fine. Have Elysian print out this page and show it to Katie. And if Katie continues to abuse animals, then report her.
And I’m sure the animals must be thinking that the only relevant thing is they are being hurt and the hitting must stop. Whatever happens to Katie is irrelevant to them. Someone has to defend them, and it apparently is not Katie’s husband who is right there and doesn’t seem to be able to do anything about it.
This I agree with, and is my recommended course of action.
Weighing the value of a friendship with someone who does this over the welfare of animals who cannot truly defend themselves – it seems that if any of the animals were to they bite her, she’d either believe that they were playing or punish them in some way – is a pointless exercise. Someone needs to stop this woman’s behavior, and if that comes at the cost of her friendship, so be it.
But I think that by confronting her directly you would have much greater odds of saving the friendship AND stopping the abuse.
Calling in jack-booted thugs to bust down her door and confiscate all her animals (yeah, I know it’s over-dramatization, but I just wanted to use the phrase “jack-booted thugs” in a thread revolving around kittens) should be a last resort because it can have NO positive consequences other than relieving the animals, yet it sounds like so many of you guys view it as the ONLY option.
My girlfriends sister is just like that! She pets animals so hard, its painful to watch. Yet she wonders why they all hate her. Its funny too because she claims to love animals so smuch. She gets kind of mad at the fact that her cat will jump on my lap the moment i sit down, but will flee the room the second they hear her coming. She can’t understand. There has to be something wrong with her. Her dog is afraid of her, and her chicken won’t even come near her. She was petting my rat once and she litterally squished the poor thing. When she started to pat it hard the rat squealed and ran to me and hid in my shirt the whole time she was there. I told her to stop it because it was small and didnt like to be petted hard, but she didnt get it. I think there has to be something physiologically wrong with her, its like she can’t empathize with living creatures. She is a bit unbalanced to begin with so it wouldn’t suprise me. Thank god my girlfriend is nothing like her. Damn heavy petters.
Katie has already been confronted about her behavior.
If I had swatted somone else’s cat and was scolded about it, I’d think about my behavior and go, “Gee, maybe I should not hit animals anymore.” But Katie continues to do that.
I find it hard to believe that her husband hasn’t already spoken to Katie about the hitting. He MUST have.
Yet she still hits animals and thinks there is nothing wrong with it.
I hope Elysian does show Katie a printout of this thread. That might be enough to do the trick, but I doubt it because it seems like Katie is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
Whether this ends up being reported to the authorities is up to Katie and if she can change her behavior. But she may need professional medical help for that.
I get the impression I’m being a little too confrontational in this thread, so I’ll give one more point, then trust that the OP does whatever she thinks is best.
There’s a difference between “mentioning” a grievance to someone and “confronting” them about it.
People are always being told “Haven’t you had enough to drink?” but performing a witnessing over it is a whole 'nother story. Same thing here. Direct, harsh criticism, nothing less. Demand either an end to the behavior or to the relationship and let her make the decision.
Why isn’t keeping animals on leashes, confining them in cages, telling them when and where and what they can eat, where and when they can crap or take a leak, keeping them penned in a yard or locked in a house considered cruelty? Why do animal “lovers” treat pets like this? Do any animal “lovers” actually consider the fact that they are robbing animals of their inherent “animalness?” So before all you animal “lovers” condemn this woman for her treatment of her pets, take a look at what traditional pet owners do. Would you want to be treated the way your pet is treated? There is a reason you need leashes and fences: animals want to be free.
cmonidareya, it’s nice to hear your ‘free all animals’ blather, but ‘robbing animals of their inherent “animalness”’ isn’t a very good statement to try and start an argument with. Kinda like saying we’re taking away our natural “humanness” by living in these air-boxes we call “houses” and putting on these fake furs called “clothes”. I can immediately think of 4 friends right now who have pets, altogether they have 3 dogs, 6 cats, and 2 birds. Of the animals, I can only say I’ve seen one that might have been even mildly unhappy, and that was simply because it was not paid any attention. If you have ever had a pet that actually loved you in the way my friend’s pets love them, you wouldn’t be spewing the crap you’re spewing now. Animals want to be free, but they also don’t want to starve. Most of all though, animals want to be paid attention to, just like most humans.
Um, cmonidareya, you are aware that humans have been domesticators of animals for thousands of years, yes? And that pet ownership is widely accepted as normal and even healthy? And that some of us who have rescued animals whose previous owners let them experience their “animalness” by setting them free to be run over by cars and attacked by local wildlife (and especially in my case, let loose to produce litter after litter of kittens because no one around here bothers to spay / neuter) might take offense at being equated with a woman who systematically (if unwittingly) abuses her animals?
This is not the thread to debate the morality of pet ownership. We have a forum here with “debates” right in the title where such a thread would be more appropriate. Moreover, the cats that I have had escape from my house have usually returned within an day or so because my house is the only place many of them have ever known.
If this is true it sounds pretty conclusive to me. IMHO you need to explain this to her. It’s probably going to be hard - imagine how we’d feel if we discovered we’d been accidently hurting our animals for years - but you have objective evidence that the pets hate it, and she needs to get that.
You may have to explain some things that seem self-evident but hopefully you’ll get it home. She sounds as if she would do the right thing if she could get it. Maybe have her husband there as well?
If this doesn’t work you may need to bring up phoning PETA or whoever to impress on her how serious this is.
(OTOH - listen to her - it’s conceivable that her pets really don’t mind, in which case I hope she sees you were just being concerned. If she says they don’t mind, try and get her to explain how she knows even if she thinks its obvious.)
I hope you don’t have to actually have her pets taken away, but I suppose you might have to decide it’s for the best.
Let us know what happens.
Is anyone else getting mental flashes of Elmira from Tiny Toons?
“I’m gonna love him and squeeze him and make him all mine!”
As to the OP’s question, do you have a friend who could play the “bad guy” for you? If you’re afraid of risking the friendship by confronting her, maybe you could visit with a friend who could, as soon as he sees her start in on her “petting”, break in with a “Holy Crap! What the hell are you doing to that dog!?” It might at least get the conversation started…
I knew there would be people who would say that maybe I’m overreacting, maybe the pets really like it, “Well, I beat MY pets and they seem okay,” and so on.
As far as sound being unrelated to force – okay, I think maybe I see that. I can thump on my tummy and make it sound like a drum, and I do pet dogs like that sometimes. And they do like it, and wriggle for more. This is a different matter. Read the op again – I said something about banging on a door. This is really the way she hits them.
As for her pets really liking it, all I can say is, would YOU like it if someone was patting your back and then hit you hard enough to bruise your kidneys?
I am not making this up, I am not being hyper-sensitive, I have other people who agree with me.
I don’t know why her husband hasn’t said anything, I know I would. I don’t care if you’re my spouse – if you hit my cat I’m going to hit you back.
I also knew someone would comment on my statement about cats being to fragile to be patted. I guess I should clarify. I pet my cats a lot, and they are constantly jumping into my lap to get more. Sometimes I scratch them on their tummies and back pretty roughly, and they’ll arch against my hand and nearly fall over when I stop. But I don’t lift my hand up and down, patting them. They’re such small creatures that I’m afraid I’ll bruise them.
I realize that this is a particular hang-up of mine. I realize that a gentle pat is perfectly okay with some cats.
However, nothing that Katie does can be construed as being gentle.
Do you understand now? I wish I had a movie to show you. These cats do NOT like being hit like this. I’ve been around cats all my life, I KNOW what they look like when they are being hurt!
cmonidareya, I know people with your viewpoint, but you must accept that the norm is widespread pet ownership. You must agree that feeding and watering them is a far different thing than abusing them.
As for what I’m going to do – I will call her house a few times this week until I get her husband when she’s not there. Then I will ask him nicely if he has noticed that she is rough with his dog. I will ask him if she has spoken with her about it. I will ask him what he thinks about the cat, and what we should do about it.
And then I don’t know.