The shower cap is strictly an amenity we offer – totally optional on your part.
The rest of the list, however… 
Things have… changed.
twitch
Uh oh. You have insulted the squid. We can’t be responsible for the results.
Insulted the squid? But–isn’t Mariah supposed to be gentle an–
flash of tentacles
Oh, dear. :eek: :eek: :eek:
Everybody duck!
(sneezy, Silver Fire is much of the wise–most of my posts are absolutely nonsense. )
But they’re such charming nonsense! 
I real–AAAIIEEE!!! DUCK
flings Sunspace out harm’s way just in time, gets wrapped by a tentacle RUN! :eek:
Well, whaddaya know. It echoed.
:eek: :eek: :eek: Ahhh-- being flung about by the tentacles and flailed everywhere
–hey, cool, it did! 
A step in the fight against ignorance!–
–ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! more flailing and thrashing :eek: :eek: :eek:
No, he ain’t kidding. Thats one hell of a duck!
Webbed Feet of DEATH!!!
:eek:
Everyone, watch out!
Umm, sneezy, this is no time to be humping the… uhh… never mind…
:: Sunspace regains consciousness, to find himself lying against the wall where the tentacles had thrown him. He looks around. ::
:: Kythereia is in the grip of tentacles–but they are not Mariah’s tentacles. These tentacles are darker and burlier, and they extend into the room through the wide doorway that leads to the Squid Storage Room. The doors that formerly closed thise doorway sag open, half torn from their hinges. ::
:: Smashed furniture, pools of water, and unidentifiable deposits litter the room. It is difficult to see what is going on. ::
:: Mariah has retreated to her tank, and is cowering from one of the most frightening things Sunspace has ever seen… ::
Duck!!!
:: Its massive head turns toward him. ::
Oh crap.
:: Shakily, Sunspace gets to his feet. sneezy5660 seems to be occupied on the other side of the room, and the way is blocked by the über-duck anyways. There is no choice but to go towards the tentacles. ::
Keapon! Try to get to the other side of the doorway where the tentacles are! Maybe we can slam the doors on them and startle [b[Kyth** loose!
BANZAI!!!
I mean: So, what’d I miss?
Oh. Heh.
slowly backs through the doorway from whence he came
Daithi Lacha! Don’t be a stranger! Stay a while! Urrgghh!
:: The last interjection comes as Sunspace and Keapon Laffin slam the doors on the tentacles. They jerk and recoil, dropping Kythereia ::
Waitaminnit! I’m a duck! I speak Duck!
kwaa kwa kwaakwakwa
kwakwaakwaa kwa
kwaakwaakwaa kwa
wak wak wak
Oops. I can’t remember if I just said
"We are Emmisaries of Peace, and welcome you"
or
"Romans go home."
Ooof! lands with a thud Sunspace, Keapon, how can I ever th–
looks up at the massive duck
:eek:
:: The massive duck lumbers towards the door where Daithi Lacha retreated. ::
:: It jams its head through the doorway, twisting and turning, trying to see where Daithi went. ::
quaaacckk
:: The duck’s utterance shakes the room. Maria, in her tank, retreats to a corner. The other tentacles suddenly retreat, vanishing between the half-closed doors to the Squid Storage Room. ::
Well, that’s one good thing at least. I just hope the duck doesn’t wreck the stairwell. I don’t want to lose the way to the mountain door…
Oh, Kythereia, didn’t you know? We found a way out.
Really? grabs Sunspace’s hand Where do we go?
ducks as the duck turns around and charges with a resounding QUACK
in crumbling doorway
Quick! Down here!
I think I succeeded in insulting it’s mother…
Follow me.
:: Kythereia and Sunspace duck around the duck and run to the stairwell door. The duck cannot turn quickly enough to catch them before they’re ttough the door. ::
:: They run down the stairs, and enter the lower room. The mountain door–blessed be!–is still open. A fresh invigourating breeze comes through it. The rootlike vines from the first door are even thicker, and the leaves shade the doorway. The pool of water has dried up, leaving a white residue on the floor. ::
Look!
:: They run to the door, and out onto the sunny mountain grass. ::
jumps for joy and smooches both Sunspace and Daithi Lacha We’re free! We’re free! We’re–
QUACK!
…oh no.
:: The mighty cry of the duck echoes from the door, accompanied by crashing sounds. ::
It’s trying to come down the stairs! It must have-- uh oh.
Where’s sneezy?
We’ve got to go back in after her! We can’t lose a newbie!
grabs arrows, runs back in