The Shire!
Kythereia, you laughed at my tiger-cub joke, so I gotchya your back!
Vorpal blade goes "snicker-snack"
Daithi, you did it! You cut it to pieces! jumps for joy, hugs hard
…Wait…
Those pieces of the Squck… they’re…
:eek: :eek: :eek:
Aw, man! Why is Dukas’ “The Sorceror’s Apprentice” playing over the PA system?
Hmmm… Dukas? Duck-ass? Maybe it’s a clue…
Daithi–! grabs sleeve, yanks towards the pieces of the Squck
They’re multiplying!
OK, hack-n-slash ain’t working here… have to use our brains… what do ducks and squids hate worse than anything?
Um… the kitchen?
Of course! Cooking!
*Get a frying pan and spatula! *
Grins evily
Who’s got a Cuisinart? Let’s see it re-spawn from that!
But how do we lure it into the kitchen?
Let’s see… what do ducks and squid love more than anything?
Breading! Or breadcrumbs, anyway…
mmm… fried calamari…
Now - who’s got crumbs? We’ll make a trail…
Bread crumbs? You want bread crumbs? I have the feeling that ordinary bread will not do. I have, for you monster baiting pleasure, the only thing that will lure them to their doom! Wonder Bread! O.k., who’s got the toaster?
I’ve got a large vot hot oil, that I usually use to defend my fortress. We could use that.
Sounds good! Now, about that Monster Bread… all the holes that the 1920’s-style “Death Ray” made in the walls of the Squd Room [sub]sorry about that[/sub] have opened the way to the kitchen and the storeroom, among other places. Just a minute.
:: **Sunsoace[
(Well drat! I hit a key combination that posted! That wasn’t intentional. [sub]I wonder what it was…[/sub] )
:: Sunspace leaves the Squid Room through one of the holes and returns with a struggling bag of Monster Bread.
Help me tear this up and lay a trail to the kitchen.
I’ve never laid a trail before! <snerk> I’ve also never torn up bread that fights back! Do you think that vat of hot oil that Regallag has would help subdue the bread?
What happened to all of our help go? I don’t think three is enough to deep fry a calamari duck.
:: As if it heard the word ‘tearing’, the Monster Bread struggles more violently. Its bag falls from Sunspace’s arms and lands on the floor. The Monster Bread quickly shreds the side of the bag and exits… and then pauses, as if surveying the room.
The Monster Bread homes in on the body of the dead duck. As it moves across the floor, it leaves a clean trail, free of all the assorted phlegm, water, fragments of squck that had been liberated by the 1920’s-style “Death Ray”, and other organic debris.
The Monster Bread reaches the dead duck. It appears to dig its way into the side of the duck’s body. It starts to expand. After a while, the duck starts to crumple in on itself. Soon it is hidden by the now-much-larger bread.
After a while, only the Monster Bread remains.
The Monster Bread pauses, and seems to survey the room. The humans have backed away from it and are staring at it. Mariah is invisible in her tank. Unnoticed to anyone in the room, one of the Death Ray holes has exposed a control room, and its occupants are watching as well. The fragments of the squck are scattered across the floor; its remaining mobile part is oblivious to the events in the room.
The Monster Bread starts toward the squck. They meet.
And as before, after a while, only the Monster Bread remains. It methodically searches the room, consuming all the organic debris, even the ring left by the flood on the wall. Metal parts of the remaining chairs gleam and appear slightly pitted, but the rattan webbing between them is gone.
The Monster Bread reaches the door to the Squid Storage Room and pushes its way through.
A few moments later, there is a splash. ::
Well, I know I’m never going to look at a baguette in the same way from now on…
And what is a baguette but a crusty baked tentacle of bread? 
Heh. almost blew salad all over my keyboard on that one…
So - do you think Mariah needs rescuing? Heaven forfend she might come in handy for any further hazi- uh, “initiations.”
Hey, guys, did we even finish sneezy5660’s initiation ritual?