Hi! I REALLY want to ask a gal in the office on a date. She’s lovely and sexy and funny and single . . . everyone’s a winner!
Thing is, she’s of Pakistani descent, and so I don’t know about the cultural hurdles I may have to throw myself over. The usual plan is restaurant - bar - club - home, but I have NO idea whether or not this is the way to play it here. I mean, do I cut out the bar? The resturant? Go to the cinema teenage-stylee? Throw me a freakin’ bone here!
Any advice and encouragement from fellow dopers would be greatly appreciated.
I’d go with the “I’ve been meaning to ask you out for a little while now, but I wasn’t sure what you’d like to do. Would you care to tell me what you’d like to do on a date so I can ask you out on one?”
Can’t really make any assumptions about a “gal” of “of Pakistani descent” that would help here. In fact, any assumptions you do make would probably be counterproductive.
I’m of European descent and dating a girl from Taiwan, but I didn’t start out with “Say, what kind of crazy Taiwan Chinese-type stuff can I do to get on your good side?” We just started with mutual likes and interests and worked from there, like any relationship.
Even if she did have some sort of obscure cultural requirement to go out with you, the worst she can say is no, same as any other woman.
Why not treat her like any other woman? Namely, in a polite and respectful manner. Where she comes from really should not make a difference, unless you are some sort of condescending bigot about dating a person outside of your race.
People, let’s not be too harsh. If someone is from a different culture, seeking information about that culture is a reasonable thing to do. Stig’s trying to avoid doing something like asking an observant Muslim out for drinks after work or taking an observant Hindu to a steakhouse for dinner.
Islamic girls overwhelmingly tend to be husband-hunters.
You can forget about taking her home after a first date, or indeed, until she gets the ring on her finger (or the cattle in her father’s barn – which is the equivalent symbolic gesture in Middle Eastern countries).
Never mind that Pakistan isn’t a Middle Eastern country.
While it’s noble that you’re trying to understand and respect cultural differences, stigoftdump, there’s no one way that girls of a certain ethnicity or religion are. Is she conservative in the manner she dresses and acts towards you? I’m guessing she’s not, since you seem to think you have a chance here. She probably does have stricter limits than what you’re used to though.
Effy, that was a very good post on what has been so far a pretty sub-par thread. Welcome to the SDMB. (However, I do take issue with the suggestion that the girl will have more restrictions than stigoftdump is used to – so far we don’t have enough information.
stig, is she pakistani or of pakistani descent? If the latter then she’s probably not appreciably different than any other white or black girl you’ve hit on. Mrs. Cliffy is of chinese extraction, and our first date was to a showing of “The Naked Gun Part 2 1/2” and then a trip to the local coffee house. If the girl is actually from Pakistan, then there may be some serious cultural differences, but the best way to figure them out is not to ask a bunch of strangers on a message board but to, as Zenster suggests, ask her out like you would anybody else. If she’s uninterested in something on your itenerary, she’ll let you know. In my experience, if someone’s been raised in the U.S., they don’t typically behave much differently than anyone else who has been raised in the U.S.
