I’m going to disagree with a few of the posts here, and say that you’re not overreacting. It sounds like you’re juggling a lot of new experiences, so your behavior is normal.
That said, when relationships deviate from the established norm, such behavior will raise flags with the partner. Especially with relationships which involve a good deal of emotional investment, people will react to change. If constant communication was how your relationship worked, it’s not really for anyone to judge how intertwined you were. Personally, I think space and boundaries are good, but it’s not very intuitive and I’ve also had to learn that.
However, I do agree with the idea that you were trying to be the cliche good-guy by suggesting she attend the party, while passively expecting her to make the right decisions. That’s not something you should hold against her, especially if you were being genuine. Either way, that type of behavior will eat away at you, because you’re creating your own mental obstacles, while she can’t read minds in order to navigate them. If communication after that point isn’t very effective, it will cause friction.
As a more direct response to your question, I don’t think you should suck it up. I think you should reflect on it, express how you feel, and give her the chance to respond when you both have cooler heads. From there, own the situation (accept responsibility for your angle, since she is her own person) and place less of your time and attention in her basket. She certainly has her own reasons for being upset, because perception does these things to people, but she’ll have to make her grown-girl decisions and decide where her priorities are.
All of this is easier said than done, especially in hindsight.
Regardless of who’s in the right, as a practical matter, if she’s having fun in her new environment and you’re just a black cloud who’s complaining and scolding her, your relationship is doomed. You have to find some sort of comfort level with how she’s living her life.
And it may be that the relationship is doomed - because you need to be comfortable. And if you aren’t comfortable with her as she is, and she isn’t comfortable with you as you are, you don’t need a remodeling project - you need to find people you are comfortable with.
That you are tracking her movements to the hour is a bit worrisome…
Of course she is still upset. You appear to be upset as well, and it would be very inconsiderate for you to expect her to not be upset at all while you are still upset.
That you turn first to the internet is a poor sign. You’re strongest relationship should be with your significant other. You should put at least as much effort into discussing this evening with her as you do with people here.
You should neither “suck it up”, nor expect to have your way entirely. You should instead work out reasonable expectations and accommodations so that you avoid getting upset next time.
For instance, you can’t expect your girlfriend to constantly text you while she is hanging out with other friends. She owes them her attention, and it would be rude otherwise. It would be reasonable, however, to ask for an update if she is staying later*, or going somewhere else with them.
You also should have friends aside from her, which I hope is the case. You cannot expect a romantic relationship to last forever (at least not without a ring).
*Relevant to your situation, if she was drinking, then spending the night rather than driving home was the responsible choice.
It sounds like you have boundary issues. You refuse to discuss what would make you uncomfortable or not, and then you resent your GF for basically doing what you’ve told her to do or at least passively accept.
Speaking from personal experience: Years ago, I lived in Dallas and my girlfriends family move to Oklahoma City. Things went down hill in a hurry. Find some new friends of you own and text her about how much fun you’re having. See how she reacts.