I want to say something about myself

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Hi Homer! My little “Too Much Information” Buddy!

You are a sweetie. And you sound like you are highly motivated to educate and enlighten yourself about many things. You are on the right track!

Me - I consider myself to be a bundle of contrasts. I grew up in a suburb of Los Angeles (Glendale.) My mom is from South Dakota, my dad a native of L.A. His dad (my grandfather) came to L.A. from England, to be an English Gardener at a posh Beverly Hills estate. Hence, my dad grew up in the “servants’ quarters” in a ritzy mansion! (I love telling that story!)

At my high school, I don’t remember any black kids (there were probably a few) but there were plenty of hispanic kids, and a few asian kids. But we were pretty white bread. All Christian, went to church every week. My dad had few prejudices, and because of that, I grew up with some silly, slightly homophobic views. They were not deep-seated, and were easily erased after I attended art school in L.A.

I have one sister who has been married to a black man for 20 years, and another sister who is handicapped. I have many atheist and gay friends. (I like to say, you can’t be an artist in L.A. without knowing gay people!) So, I am this rather white bread Christian person, but with all these contrasts in my life. I do consider myself “conservative” in a way, but when I consider the whole of my life, my attitudes, and my friends, I guess it depends. I guess I am as “conservative” as can be expected, for an artist from L.A.! I recently moved to a midwestern city (that I affectionately call “Hooterville”) where I sometimes feel like a fish out of water because of my different upbringing.

Sometimes these contrasts cause conflict in my life, so I do think I understand where you are coming from. And I think this board is a great place to explore new ideas, for all of us!

22

well, my paternal grandparents were from denmark, maternal grandparents from russia. i only met my maternal grandmother, so the danish customs were lost. i’m orthodox, russian variety. my mother owned a house when she and dad got married, so dad went from small town outside omaha to big city philly. i came home from being born to this house and i’m still here. i did go to college in nebraska for two years to get some idea of what the danish side of the family was about.

the neighbourhood i grew up in was heavily catholic. i was the only kid on the block who didn’t have a sibling or who went to public school or wasn’t related to everyone on the block. my block was irish catholic, go two blocks over and it turns polish catholic, then ukranian, then german. all catholic, all had thier own churchs and schools. the churches are still there but they are down to just one catholic school in my area. the area is slowly getting more diverse as it is being yuppied. however the oldtimers here still have their racist rants going on. amazingly there are some people who are my age who are very racist. they are usually the ones who didn’t go any further than high school (if they finished high school). they were in a very secluded catholic school and didn’t met anyone outside their ethinic group until they joined the work force.

so homer, even big city’s have their little towns where everyone is just like the other. i’m glad that you care enough to learn about your fellow dopers. some people i know would rather not know anything about anyone else, even themselves. keep asking your questions, sometimes you’ll be asking ones i always wanted to know about.

23

Hi Homer! (and everyone else, too)

I am half Puerto Rican, half European mix, I am in my 40’s and female. I have 3 birth sisters & 2 foster sisters that we got when they were babies (the youngest is now in her 20’s). My parents were divorced when I was quite young, so I pretty much grew up in a very poor home, with my mother working 2 jobs or more to support us (no $$ or contact with the father person). This means I spent most of my life with my Puerto Rican maternal family and my foster sisters, whose fathers were black and whose mother was white. (sorry, I just don’t use African American – they are my sisters with darker skin, and that’s that). As a family we always got funny looks wherever we went! I had a mentally retarded uncle, who until he died (at age 60+) acted like a seven year old, and was well loved and cared for by my grandparents.

I’ve had lots of challenging experiences that I’ve had to deal with from this eclectic family, from various forms of abuse to alcoholism to drug addiction and more. I grew up in many places, from inner city Hartford, CT to rural Vermont and I now live in Alaska

A lot of folks who feel the need to march to their own drummer end up in Alaska. There is quite a freedom to be yourself and be accepted for it up here. I have friends with all kinds of differences, be it sexual, racial, or religious. We share some common history with our families, but some of my friends are like you, from a very secure small town clan. We learn from each other.

Hola.

Ask anything you want – I almost always enjoy reading your
posts.
:slight_smile:

24

Well damn… check out the responses thinking homers an honest cutie!
I’m an isolated white boy originally from Kansas City too!!!
:smiley:

25

This is a nice thread, Homer, thanks for starting it.

White, baptized at age 12 after being frightened out of my wits at a church camp – it took a puppet show full of hellfire to do it, but by golly, they got me saved!

Typical weird family, all white, Christian, hetero, with lots of divorces and and wife-beating and alcoholism and backbiting and rumors of incest (cousin died of syphilis contracted from her father!).

If nothing else, I inherited open-mindedness. My first husband grew up in the same place, in the same kind of family, and he was just the opposite. Suspicious of anyone different. How did that happen? I think it’s because he didn’t read – he could read, of course, but he never did, and I think the result of that is a closed, dead world.

Moved to Seattle in the late 60’s. Got to meet and work with VISTA and Peace Corps volunteers, different races, religions and sexual orientations and political affiliations.

Had an eye-opening conversation with a black neighbor, who told me that if I made excuses for bad behavior because of someone’s race, that was just as racist as expecting bad behavior because of race. Before that, I thought that being free of prejudice meant that I had to like everybody. I hadn’t realized I was being patronizing.

Kids got to grow up in a multi-everything neighborhood. I’m grateful for that.

26

:eek: WOW! You guys are all so interesting… My life is boring compared to some of this stuff! I wish MY family had a rich ethnic history… we make peanut butter cups, sometimes, though… so I got a one up on all of you for that… I think sometimes I like peanut butter TOO much. :smiley:

I guess I’m tired. I don’t know WHAT that peanut butter thing was all about.

Maybe I’ll go have some pizza now.

Thanks for sharing. This is all fascinating.

And thanks again for all the kind words. You guys are great. :slight_smile:

–Tim

27

Tim,

Well I like you, ya putz. :smiley:

My father’s side of the family came over on the boat just before the outbreak of WW1- apparently my great-great <insert random greats> grandfather didn’t want to fight for the Kaiser and fled. Dad’s side of the family is mostly German, with a little (very little) Romany thrown in. Mom’s side is the UK in a blender- Irish, Scot, English, Welsh…little bit of German there, too. We’re not big on our roots, really. My family is really normal in a lot of ways- Mom and Dad are teachers, brotherboy and I are good students… kind of a poster family.

I’m Methodist, although the family at large doesn’t have one particular religion. There was even some bishop in NY who I’m vaugely related to… but those I live with are Methodists, I like it, and I’m sticking with it. My faith is more important to me than some of my posts here might indicate… I’ve always thought that you can’t have faith unless you struggle with it. I’ve always liked that image of wrestling with faith, but that’s neither here nor there.

I’ve lived my whole life in Delaware. Southern Delaware, a few minutes away from the beach. When the wind is blowing in the right direction you can smell the salt. That’s about the only thing that I really like about home, other than the fact that it’s home.

When I was a young child I was very sickly at points… there was at least one night that my parents didn’t think I’d live to see the sunrise. They promised they’d not raise me in a plastic bubble, and I think I’ve reflected that.

My high school was very racially divided. Black table, white table, hispanic table, white table… you get the idea. We had a share of KKK/Aryan Nation boys. Ick. Since I’ve gone to Dartmouth my group of friends has widely diversified. Incredibly so, actually, and I love it.

I’m gay and I’m hearing impaired. My hearing isn’t that bad- at least I don’t think it is, because I’ve never known it any better. Basically, I lip read a lot when I don’t really need to and I make people who talk quietly stay on my left side. As for being gay… well, it’s had more of an affect on my family than I’d really like. I mean, there’s liberal and then there’s having your youngest be a lesbian. For a long time it bitterly divided us… but now it seems like a bit of a unifying factor, if that makes any sense. I used to feel like I didn’t know my family at all, and going through all of this seems to have gotten all of us to know each other as people, if that makes any sense. My mom’s seeing a psych because of it, and it’s been a struggle with faith for a lot of my family, myself included. For a long time I fought against it, and then I just realized how incredibly silly the whole thing was and went out to chase skirt. My extended family knows, and they’re by and large quite accepting of myself and quietgirl.

Jen and I have been dating for almost two years now. It’s not been easy, but some things are just worth it. Right now we’re pretty much waiting to see where she gets in to college to plan the next move. Her family is die hard rednecks, and she’s probably going to move out.

I started to grow up sheltered, but it didn’t last long.

28

Yeah he’s a cutie, ya oughta see him in an iron mask, whewy, he’s just sooooo… nifty!!

Tim, I’m a forty-seven year old white lady with two sons that I adore, and a husband who doesn’t adore anyone or anything. My parentage is German, hence the blonde hair, though greying QUICKLY!

I was born in the North and but raised in Florida, moving to Georgia in my teens, which is where, much to my surprise they were just integrating at the time, so tensions in my senior year were high, and I wasn’t used to it, having had black kids in my classes for years, I didn’t get what they were afraid of, though I got the anger that I saw in the black kids.

I am a Christian, but because of the odd relationship I have with my husband living here, but not speaking to any of us, church people avoid us, so we dropped out of churches.

And your thread is neat, it is great reading about everyone, adding more dimensions to our already colorful cast of characters! :wink:

29

Homer, I’m glad that you’re at least honest and not being proud of your ignorance. I was just kidding about not wanting to marry you because of the TMI stuff…I still think you’re an awesome guy.

Me?
I’m similar to you.

My mother grew up her entire life in this house. And I’ve been growing up in this house, too. In fact, this house has been left to me in Mom’s will, so I’ll probably spend my whole life here, in rural western Pennsylvania. It doesn’t matter to me because I like it here.

Seeing that I’ve never moved, I’ve also gone to the same school since kindergarten. There are an estimated 3-4 black kids in my high school, a few Asians, and 1-2 Hispanics to my knowledge. There are many racists at my school, and it makes me sick. I’ve been brought up to believe that I’m supposed to love my neighbor, and to me that’s everybody. This area is also pre-dominantly Christian. Prayers are held at most events. I don’t know any athiests in real life, and I only know one Jewish person, and he lives in New York anyway.

I’ve been brought up Presbyterian, and I will continue to be Presbyterian, not because it’s what I’m used to but because I’ve gone to other churches and have been exposed to other denominations and I realized that I like the Presbyterian church’s ideals the best.

I’ve left the country, but only to Mexico, Canada, and Costa Rica; the hispanic countries were for mission trips. I’ve never seen the “nice parts” of these countries. I’ve only seen cold, hard poverty, and it makes me sad that people in the States and elsewhere complain about what they don’t have. The people living in these places seem so happy.

I don’t condemn divorce because if it wasn’t for divorce, I wouldn’t be alive. My father was a heavy smoker, a drinker, a drug-experimenter. He left his first wife and met my mom, a goody-two-shoes farm girl. They got married and he left his bad life. They’re both Presbyterians.
If I ever get mad at people for smoking, just remember that I do it because my father smoked for more than 40 years, and it contributed to his present state, which is a body wasted from cancer and waiting to die.

Since I am only 18, I feel I can’t talk about things with as much experience as the rest of you guys. That’s why I hide in the MPSIMS and IMHO threads. I’m afraid of wandering into the GQ and saying something stupid.

I have amazingly low self esteem. I don’t like myself that much. Since I’m a perfectionist, making mistakes hits me hard. My poetry is never good enough. My stories, my art, they’re never good enough. My singing is never the best singing; my posts are never the most insightful posts.
And then sometimes I act really self-confident and vain. I’ve never been properly taught how to behave modestly. It’s either, “No I suck” or “Yes, I know I’m great.”

I never know what to say, and yet I say so much.