I want to say something about myself

I have very many questions that linger in my mind, yet I am afraid of asking them lest I be labled racist, sexist, or one of a million other -ists. For this reason, I’d like to explain something about myself.

I grew up in a small, lower-middle class suburb in Omaha. I was then raised from age 9-onward in a tiny rural town south of Kansas City.

I do not have any relatives who are not white. I do not have any relatives who are gay. I do not have any relatives who are disabled. I do not have any non-Christian relatives. I do not have any relatives who are not originally born and raised in America. While I have vacationed or traveled in nearly every state of the Union, I’ve never left the country.

The school I went to had only 5 black kids, 4 asian kids, and about a dozen mexican kids. I would call them hispanic, but, their lineage was 1 generation removed from Mexico, so the label(?) is correct.

If I ask a question or make a statement that seems brash, harsh, general, stereotypical, it is not done so out of malice, but ignorance. I am insanely curious about persons who are disables, of another race, of another ethnic background, of another religion, of another color, of another country, of another sexual orientation, or, in other words, not exactly like me. I have had almost zero exposure to non-Christian, non-American, non-White people, and so I am curious.

Now that I’m in college, I have friends who are all these things, but don’t ask them questions for fear of their response. That’s why I ask them here, on the boards, because it’s alot easier to expose my ignorance to thousands of people than bridging that gap with someone I know in person.

So tell me about yourself.

Thank you.

–Tim

I’m just your regular white boy scientific minded musician and chef sort of guy.

I just wanted to say one thing Tim. I’m really glad that we’ve been able to chat a few times. It has allowed me to begin to understand the sort of person that you are. Underneath the yahoo frat boy drink 'em up party freak there is also the soul of a human being that I have begun to know.

That’s all I really wanted to say…

I’m half-Icelandic, a quarter Russian, and a quarter Finnish. My mother grew up in the time during and after WW2 and kind of inherited all those stupid racist ideas about Jewish people. Fortunately I didn’t find out she felt that way about Jewish people until just about last year after some bullshit having to do with my friends cancelling on me because of a family problem. I am proud of my Nordic lineage, but have little to no knowledge of my Russian/Finnish side because the few relatives that are from that side live in New England and don’t really have great relations with my father. Also, the fact that the pre-Ellis Island version of my last name is lost in record does not help any. I am open-minded, and I always have been so. I’ve never been conventional anything, so fitting in used to be a little problem of m mine. I still have a tendency to stand out in crowds and I like it. I despise lies, and right now I’m eating a grilled cheese sandwich with a knife and fork. All my friends are crazy, and I like them that way. [Oh, guess what! this guy, Chris, that I met at thespian competition likes me! This brings me to my next point: I’m oblivious sometimes. Apparently he was trying to kiss me and I didn’t realize it and ruined the opportunity every time. I’m such a :wally] Anyway, if you can’t tell, I am random… I love to sing, and the arts are kind of one of my loves. Drawing, painting, playing with clay, singing, watching good drama. Uhm, what else about me? I dunno, go ask a friend about me.

Well,

I used to be a christain (first Catholic, then LDS) and now I am a Buddhist. I am white with a predominant Chippewa heritage (but you’d never guess it to look at me :)).

My wife is LDS.

I have somewhat of a disability but I don’t call any attention to it (partial blindness).

Homer,

I think you’re a doll. An okay guy. Kinda futzy every once in a while, with a tendancy to jam your foot in your mouth, but it’s a clumsyness that I find tolerable. And even kinda cute on occasion.

Me? I’m wierd. I think fast, but dumb. (Rock dumb…any evidence to the contrary is merely trial and error at high speeds.) I have fairies and stuffed animal stuff all over my room, with my textbooks. Kipling and Shakespeare live in my book shelves next to Harry Potter and White Wolf role playing books. I live as I please, but I will drop just about everything to help one of my friends, or pretty much anyone.

I have never had much of a problem with tolerance, I like people to be different. I can be a petty little bitch, but for the most part people like me. (I’m still clueless as to why usually.)

My big problem is that I know I am pretty gifted. In a lot of ways. Not talented, not accomplished, just somehow I have these gifts and I feel as though they are wasted on a daily basis. So my self judgement is pretty harsh. I should be doing so much more with what I have, and I’m not.

And I like cats.

Yer also my favorite here. And there’s lots of good people here. So cut that harsh self judgement crap out!

[sub]pot calling the kettle black, I know.[/sub]

Thanks for your honesty, Tim. Ignorance is not a crime, but willful ignorance is intolerable. Should you commit a faux pas in your quest for knowledge, I, for one, promise to be tolerant and provide whatever guidance I can.

I’m a 42-year-old WASP-looking guy living in the same suburb I grew up in (only a mile or so from the house I grew up in, and where my parents still live).

Mostly English/Welsh and German (paternal) but also a fairly wide variety of other stuff, including Cherokee (maternal). My father’s ancestors arrived on this continent on the first boat after the Mayflower, so they’ve been around here a long time. Of course, with the Native American blood, my mother’s ancestors were on the shore already.

I married a Jewish girl from Rochester, which awakened a realization that, no matter who we are, what we think, what we experience, we all have prejudices and other people have prejudices about us. I guess it’s the way human beings are wired up. Not that more exposure to diversity won’t help; it will, and becoming more well-rounded and broad-minded leads to us becoming better people. But the whole “brotherhood of man” thing can’t work, IMHO. We are too diverse a bunch for total understanding to occur everywhere.

I like to read and write and hang out with my kids. We’re real homebodies.

Hi Tim,

You are doing something to fight your own ignorance, and for that, I respect you.

I’m from Hawaii. I grew up in an environment that sounds like almost a complete opposite from yours. To start with, I’m three-fourths Japanese and one-quarter Okinawan. I was born and raised here. My parents were also born and raised here, as were their parents. But many of my friends’ parents were not. Some of my friends weren’t born here themselves. Some didn’t come to an English-speaking country until they were 12 years old. Most of them are Asian, because most of the people here are Asian. Whites make up only about 10% of the population here, blacks even less.

I know maybe five Christians. Most families here are Buddhist, and many are not religious at all. My family is not religious.

I don’t have any gay relatives or friends either; if I do, they haven’t told me about it. But it’s not something that would be a big deal to me if any of them were.

As for how I am as a person, well, I don’t know. I think you’ll have to read my posts and profile, and glean what you can from them, or ask others about me to get a good answer. I’m not really good at answering that question anyway. I like to think I’m nice and smart and funny, but hey, those could just be my delusions again.

I come from a middle class Christian (Anglican) family. Dad was English, mom of French heritage.

We were brought up in the church and I always enjoyed going. I don’t go much anymore because over the past few years my faith has been tested so many times, I’m kind of at a stand still as to where my beliefs lie anymore. I attend weddings, funerals and Christmas mass, but thats about it at this point. I guess in this area, I’m trying to find myself.

As for who I am, there are definitely some days where I’m not sure. I know I’m a good person who cares for others, but I also know that I let people take advantage of me, and I have a hard time accepting a compliment because it embarasses me.

For right now, I’m just Sue who for the most part enjoys life as it is.

I hear ya woofin’, Homer.
I too grew up kind of sheltered, in a little town in Maine (from age 7 on), White population - about 4000, other races population - 0. Not one black, asian, hispanic, whatever. In fact the area was so predominantly French-Canadian, I got teased for having a Polish last name.
Before that I lived in the Buffalo, New York area, so there was alot of diversity, but what is 6 year old kid to make of that?
College does wonders for fighting ignorance, not neccesarily from the classes you take or the books you read, but from the people that you meet. The greatest lesson I’ve learned in life is to keep an open mind when it comes to people.
For example, I’m not saying there were no gay people in my home-town, but the closet doors were glued shut. Derogatory terms for homosexuality were common place. We’re all adults here, I’m sure you know what I mean. “You’re such a fag,” was the gravest insult one boy could inflict on another. Now that I’m out in the world, I’d say more than half of my friends are gay. And looking back on those petty little school boy epithets makes me embarrassed.
There are a few relatives of mine who still bandy about racial slurs like it’s the most natural part of language, and I feel shame and sorrow for them. But when I try to explain to them how hurtful they’re being, 40 years of ignorance block the way. That’s a tough wall to knock down.

So in conclusion, the moral of the story is - “Never judge a book by its cover. Unless you’re in a porno shop.”

Oh, Homer, you loveable goof. At least you’re thinking about these things, instead of blindly rejecting them.

I’m Russian Jewish, with some Baltic thrown in for good measure. My family came in through Ellis Island at the turn of the century, and gradually migrated west. My family eventually settled in Los Angeles, with largish concentrations in Cleveland, Ohio, and Texas. My family, in fact, is one of the oldest Jewish families in Los Angeles.

When I was younger, I moved around a lot. I’ve been to school with a largely diverse population, as befits a city like LA. I got acclimated to other cultures pretty early on. And in a city like LA, there are lots of people who are different for one reason or another. And unless the LAPD is involved (joke), most people are pretty tolerant of this.

Now, I’m happily married to a nice Christian boy and living in Minnesota, where I can poke fun at the Lutherans and the homogeneity. I’m contemplating a move to San Antonio, Texas, to finish my education and get myself re-acquainted with REAL Mexican food.

Robin

I’d just like to point out that I think that I am Homer. I was born in a suburb of Omaha. I moved to a small ruralish town south of Kansas City when I was (actually) 5. I’m white. I’m Christian. None of my family members deviate from this as well.

However, my freshman year in college, I had a black roommate. We didn’t hang out or anything, or have a lot of discussions (he was a football player, and had training and practice all the time), but we got along just fine. It just wasn’t a big deal with my non-white friends.

This reminds me of a story I heard about a friend’s boyfriend who lived in South Carolina.
He said to her, in all seriousness-

“You know, I’ve been tryin’ real hard to change the way I feel about niggers…”

When this story was told, there was a burst of laughter all around, and people expressed incredulity at the stupidity of this statement.

I disagreed. In a weird way, this ol boy really was trying to not be ignorant anymore. I thought it was cute.

Please don’t be offended if you are from South Carolina or if you are black. i am only saying what I heard.
And yes, I find this funny.

Y’all who say you don’t have any gay friends or relatives . . . You just THINK you don’t.

Me, I’m the opposite of sheltered. My grandmother was gay, so it was never looked on as anything remotely unusual in my family. I’ve always had a lot of gay and transgendered friends (oh, I know some straight people, too!). My parents were classic East Coast liberal Jewish/atheist Democrats. Basically, they WERE the Rosenbergs, except for the part about selling secrets to the Russians.

. . . And I’m thinking about moving to the Deep South? Oy.

Tex-Mex is not real Mexican food, mah deah! Try moving to Cali, or, ahem, Mexico, for real Mexican food. :wink:

Heya Homer. I’m a mutt, but predominantly Italian, then Mexican. My great(maternal)grandfather came from Genoa and my (paternal)grandmother crossed the border into Arizona. She was half Mexican/half Yaqui indian. Basically, this meant that I grew up eating the best damn Mexican and Italian food one could hope for. :smiley: Unfortunately, as much culture as we had around us, no one ever bothered to teach my sister or I the languages, so we were always the kids with the Mexican name (Gonzales), that couldn’t speak Spanish. For this, I took a lot of shit from the “real” Mexicans in So California.

Let’s see, what else? Well I grew up with a gay sister, and a lot of the people my mom hung out with were gay, so that was never really an issue. I think it’s opened me up to a lot of experiences I would not have had otherwise, and has really cemented my sexual orientation in a nice way, so I feel very comfortable saying I am Bi(obviously not practicing), even to my peers IRL.

Another enlightening experience was going into the army for seven years. I’m telling you, boot camp was an awakening. There were a lot of people who had either never even seen some of the races there, or at least never talked to them. It was an interesting experiment in human behaviour; some of it touching, most of it shocking. Granted, homosexulaity is repressed in the army, but don’t be fooled, it is alive and well.

As for disabilities, I think my only one is my ego, which gets me into trouble sometimes…:wink:

I’m a middle-class WASP guy who was born in the Midwest (Indiana) and grew up in the South (Georgia). Most of my ancestors moved to Indiana around 200 years ago. The majority of them came from Ireland, but there are some from Scotland, England, the Netherlands, and Germany thrown in there as well. I’ve been called “black-Irish” before because of my brown hair and very dark brown eyes, but we all read what Cecil had to say about that.

Up until the past two or three generations, my family was made up of farmers. Even now my family os mostly blue-collar types.

There was some racism in my family, but not among my parents. Most of those who could be considered racist in my family (although they were never rabid about it) have passed away in recent years (despite their faults, I miss them dearly). My first-cousin-once-removed married a black man, much to the dismay of the older generation (hah! good for her!), and had two kids with him (they’re my second cousins, for those of you who are genealogy-impaired).

The only gay person I know of in my family is my second cousin. I was a bit of a homophobe when I was younger but have gotten over it in recent years.

I’d say the only disability I ever had (if you can call it that) was asthma, but I haven’t had a problem with it in almost 5 years.

I have the honor of being the first Strain to graduate college. I would’ve gotten that honor on my mom’s side too, if it hadn’t been for those sneaky older cousins.

Hi, Homer,

My only real “minority” characteristic is that I’m an atheist. I’m not militant about it (that is, I don’t go around trying to convert believers to atheism), but I’m very firm in my own beliefs. I know that there’s no God or afterlife as surely as I know just about anything in life.

You can ask me just about anything you want about atheism, and you can be pretty sure I won’t get pissed about it. The only thing that will bother me is if you try to convert me to your religion too aggressively. I’ll put up with conversion attempts only so far.

That depends on what you mean by “questions.” To a lot of people, that’s a synonym for a question-and-debate cycle.

If you’re honestly asking a question out of curiosity, then I think pretty much anything is open to good-natured questioning. It’s the debate that often follows the question where people get into trouble.

Ask me anything at all about my own form of atheism, and I’ll be happy to answer. But if you then continue the conversation by lecturing me on what your church thinks about atheists, you’re probably going to start losing me. I’ve only heard it about a million times before.

That’s about the best way I can put it, based on my own experiences with religious people. I’m an atheist in a country where something like 98 percent of the population believe in a Supreme Being of one sort or another. That means that I’m well aware of how religious people view atheists, and I don’t need to hear it again.

If you want to ask me a potentially touchy question, then you should decide beforehand exactly how much you want to hear about my point of view versus how much you want to tell me about your point of view. If you mainly want to simply listen to my point of view so that you can fill in your gaps in your education, then you can probably ask me just about anything, no matter how touchy or even intrusive. But if you intend to try to impress me with your own opposing views on the subject, then you’re going to start losing me. Like I said, I’ve heard it a million times before. If you push hard enough, I’ll figure that you’re attempting to convert me and I’ll end the conversation, or worse.

I don’t know if other “minorities” see it the same way, but here’s a simple rule to follow: The more respect you show for the other person’s viewpoint, the more freedom you will have to ask questions. Midway along in this process, however, if you decide that the other person is in error and that you want to debate the person and bring him/her around to your point of view, then at that point you obviously don’t have much respect for the other person’s viewpoint. You might in fact be doing the other person a favor by educating him, but it still doesn’t show respect for his viewpoint. And at that point you’re probably in for a fight, and you do indeed run the risk of being labeled (rightly or wrongly, as the case may be) “racist, sexist, or one of a million other -ists”. Such is the nature of debate.

Like I said earlier on, if you’re honestly asking something out of curiosity, then I think pretty much anything is open to good-natured questioning. It’s the debate that usually follows the question where people get into trouble.

Hi Homer,

We’ve never really met, but I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re a kick in the pants (in a good way), and I look for your posts regularly. It’s been pretty clear to me for a while that your heart is in the right place.

About me, I’m a euro-mutt. On my mother’s side, her father came from a long line of Kentucky farmers, her mother came from an equally long line of lawyers and doctors in Missouri. Both can trace their roots back to the Quakers. My grandmother was a charter member of the Daughters of the American Revolution and the Daughters of the American Confederacy. I have quite a few cousins on that side who are, umm, a little less than enlightened.

On my dad’s side, his father was conceived in Romania and born in Chicago, and his mother was born in Amsterdam. My grandfather was Jewish, but changed his name and abandoned his religion in the 40’s because he couldn’t get a job. Nobody on my mom’s side of the family has any clue that my father, or my sister and I have Jewish heritage.

I was raised baptist, but abandoned most of it in high school. I’m trying to learn more about the traditions that go with Judaism, and I think my current code of ethics is mostly derived from Buddhism, even though I don’t actually practice anything.

**

Details, details. There’s still Mexican food here.

Robin

hmmm… well,
I’m from Central, Minnesota, I have been to school with a TOTAL of 3 black kids, only a handful of Asian kids, and no Native Americans.

I come from a perfect neighborhood. snowmobiles, baseballs games, and lakes run rampant; and are all around. moderate income, and a nice car in every garage.

My father is a predominant athiest, my mother is a Lutheran, and I’m a lutheran.

my sister started turning to drugs when she was about my age, and picked up smoking 3 years ago (she was 15) when she met her then 18 year old boyfriend. theya re still together and will be happily married after she is outta college.

I was a very small kid. until 5th grade, I was about 85 lbs. during 6th grade, I remember being able to fit by hand around my entire bicep. that is how I became to be this untrusting. I got pushed around, beat up, and frequently bullied and taken advantage of. after my 6th grade year, I beefed up. and I’m now 5’6" and weigh 150 lbs.

I do not remember anything before 5th grade at home. I feel that I was verbally and emotionally abused by my father. as long as I can remember, my mother was the one standing up for me. She did one time lash out at me, that I can remember, and she screamed in my face “Fuck you, you little shit” and she then went on Zolof for depression.

I turned to books, and read. sometimes for hrs at a time, and matured very quickly. the first week After I turned 14, I got a job. I am still employed there, and it is somewhat my escape.

I also use physical activity as an escape. I kayak, bike, run, hike, swim, backpack, and work out to deplete stress from my life.

pretty petty of a life… but a lot of Bullshit crammed into 15 years.