Well, I am sure I am not someone that you will be PMing, but as a fellow father I will throw my 2 cents out there for the hell of it.
First off, congratulations on raising such a successful child. I will respect your wishes to be circumspect, so I will limit my comments in that regard.
The key to your situation is to remember what you wrote: “What ever she decides to do will be rewarding, personally and financially.” Of course that is not 100% true, anyone can make a series of bad choices that spirals them out of control from a seemingly bright future, but I am sure that your child’s future is as potentially bright as you say. I have no reason to dispute that.
She is intelligent, as you say. For whatever reason, she has opted not to pursue whatever opportunity it is that you say will “seal an incredible future.” (I hope you recognize that that is not completely true, either. It may be an opportunity that could potentially lead to an incredible future, but nothing is guaranteed.) Trust her to be smart, then, and make the decision that is ultimately right for her. She knows her own needs, desires, ambitions and abilities better than anyone, even you.
You say she is 23 almost as if that means she is too young to make this decision (which she has already made). Although 23 seems very young from where you and I are standing, it is not too young to be trusted to be making the decision that is right for her. Even if she is “emotional,” unless you feel she is engaged in some actually self-destructive behavior, which would be a whole different situation, being an emotional being is part of who she is and while that may play a larger role in her decision making process than you want, it is part of her.
You wrote that you “need” her to recognize that the course of action you want her to take is the best one, while at the same time you want her to recognize it for herself and make her own decision. I hope you will examine why you “need” her to do it. If it was just a turn of phrase that doesn’t really reflect your feelings, that is great. If, however, it truly reflects a situation where it will be upsetting to you if she doesn’t change her mind, then I would like to emphasize that she needs to make her own choices and carve her own path in life.
As parents, one problem we sometimes have is we still remember all the stupid decisions our kids made when they were much younger…and it therefore can be hard to trust them make their own decisions even after they have become mature, accomplished young adults. I am sure your daughter has not accomplished what she has with a lack of self-discipline, dedication, ambition, determination, and good judgement.
Really, even if this opportunity is as blindingly fantastic as you make it seem, at most you should briefly summarize for her how you perceive the opportunity to be so good for her, in as nonjudgemental a fashion as possible, but also indicate that you acknowledge the validity of her reasons for her decision and in the end you trust her judgement, are very proud of her, and know that whatever she does will be the best thing for her. And if she maintains the same decision, then that is it, you should drop it and accept her choice.
Keep remembering: “What ever she decides to do will be rewarding, personally and financially.” What more could a parent hope for? Congratulations on helping her get into that position.
Good luck to both of you.
