I wonder how many people secretly despise their kids?

[Shirley_Ujest]

@StGermain

I think many people’s expectation that having kids is going to be like a catalogue - you pick the one you want, he’s always happy, health, smart, clean and attractive. You get to choose cool accessories. In catalogues everything’s so shiny. Life is rarely shiny, and when you look at others’ shiny-seeming lives, you can’t figure out what’s wrong with yours.

I’m sure parents often are angry/frustrated/tired of/fed up with their kids. Heck, I’m often angry/frustrated/tired of/fed up with my dogs, my car, my job, my health and every other part of my life. But the key to life is making the best with what you’ve got and learning to live with the fact that your dog still has accidents sometimes, your car occassionally doesn’t start unless you jiggle the key just so, your job’s well…work, and you can’t afford to get your teeth fixed. And that person with the sparkly new car? Has a big car payment.

Suck it up. Life’s what happens when you’re waiting for your UPS catalogue delivery.

StG

Well said.

People sign on for the Sunshine and Hugs not realizing that there are sleepless nights, diaherrea, puke and tantrums too. Not to forget the assloads of money that just disappear as the latest check is deposited. It is a package deal.
If there was a kidfinder(dot)com like petfinder, and people could dump off their kids without any legal or moral ramificiations, every shelter would be over run with kids being kids ( like dogs doing what dogs do, but their owners just want a fucking statue that doesn’t take any time away from them.)
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with some rain.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@kdeus

In my house, we call that “Bonar”.

I didn’t want to let this pass unnoticed.

[salinqmind]

The money! The MONEY!:eek: (sorry, didn’t notice the dates on this thread)

[China_Guy]

Certainly I do not dispise my kids. Sure as shit I wish that my youngest didn’t have special needs, and that’s much more for her lost opportunity than for me.

I came from a very kid loving extended family culture (although it’s under pressure by big city modernity) with a lot of help in the home in China. Then moved to America in the summer completely on our own. My wife has never lived here, and while her English is great and she is international, she’s never lived in the US and this is a bewildering place. So, we’re trying to get settled, I’m bulldogging a new job, and school and all social services for my special needs daughter are out to lunch.

The only support we had was from my Global 50 company. While big, they made a serious difference in getting settled. Otherwise, new country-ish, new town, no relatives, no social services until school started 2 1/2 months later.

We got to experience the worst of chain childcare. Found a wonderful Indian woman doing childcare out of her home. Sleep deprivation from hell since my youngest has sleep issues and it only took 2 1/2 months to actually see nurse practioners, get the reference letter, wait for the sleep clinic opening, see a nurse practioner, get some drugs, work out the proper dosage, and finally get my youngest’ sleep under control.

There isn’t much “village” in the US if you move away from your support structure. We’re slowly building some, and almost primarily through the foreign Chinese community here. If I didn’t have the Chinese community or a church or something like that, it would really suck.

Anyhoo, part rant and part observation with fresh eyes, but I don’t see much community.

This country, my country, is a huge impersonal black holes in many ways.

[Mighty_Girl]

Zombie thread!

I am glad I got to re-read this three years later. All I have to say is that things do get better as kids get older, and more independent. I cannot imagine any way my life would be better without my daughter.

Phew!