I'd do anything for love (but I won't do that) - a poll of sorts

So, most people, at one time or another, say that they’d do “anything” for a loved one. Now, for some people maybe this is true. But I think most people have a few things that they just won’t do. I’m not talking about diving in front of a gun to take a bullet for your loved one, or anything in an extreme circumstance like that. I’m just talking everyday things - sex, social life, etc. - things you can get away with not doing for your loved one without fear of them leaving you (in general), even though it may be something they really want you to do. We’re assuming here you are in a strong enough relationship that choosing not to do whatever it is does not result in the end of the relationship - so you don’t need to take that into account, unless you want to.

I’m thinking along the lines of giving up a certain friend your SO doesn’t like, never talking to an ex because your SO gets jealous, certain sexual activities, family related issues, getting a certain haircut, “little” things like that. But if anyone wants to talk aobut “bigger” things, that’s fine too. Now, I admit the sex stuff is what got me thinking about this, after a conversation I had with my ex-girlfriend about what she was and wasn’t willing to try. But I don’t necessarily want to limit it to that. Not that I’d mind of course…

So to summarize: What is on your short (or long) list of things that you aren’t willing to do for your partner? What would you not even be willing to try doing for them?

Wow, there’s alot of stuff I wouldn’t do for a SO. I’m not even sure where to begin.

On first thoughts…

I wouldn’t have a threesome or foursome or any other kind of “some” that wasn’t a twosome of him and me. He likes the idea of me and another girl and him (most men do though I’ve found) but purely as a fantasy … it ain’t gonna happen and he knows it. We joke about it but I’m just not wired that way. Nor would I do with another guy and nor would I allow him to do another girl.

I don’t like pain - biting yes ok but major pain or beating or humiliation or whatever is not me - sure others like it and thats cool for them… but its not me. Luckily he’s not into pain either so thats fine.

I won’t do pee or poo… I know again that some like this - to me its just gross and no way would I even comtemplate trying it.

Nothing involving animals… no way. Too too nasty for me.

So its what I call the 4 P’s - no plurals, no pain, no pee/poo and no pets :D:p

As to other things… well if we want to try things out we can, I don’t have firm rules on much else but it’d have to be after discussion and by mutual agreement - I wouldn’t expect him to force me to do anything and nor would I force him. Sex really has to be something that is a shared experience and where one partner is uncomfortable, for us both, that’d take any of the pleasure out of it.

I would do a lot of things for him… I’d have no problem cooking and cleaning as long as its reciprocated in some way, ie I cook, he cleans up after - that way its a partnership thing.

As I’ve discussed, part of the reason I grew my hair out was cos he likes it that way and partly cos I wanted it that way. His is long now and he’s talking about cutting it - which is fine if thats what he wants but I want to see it long before he gets it cut short.

As to giving up friends? That I don’t know… if I really loathed one of his friends, well I think the better compromise would be for him to see him alone and for me not to go… but not for me to bitch and moan about it until he gets so pissed off at the situation he dumps the friend - I wouldn’t think that fair.

Ummmmm have to think more about this… I’ll let others chime in…

So whats your list flybynight? (Like the title btw :smiley: )

Ok, I wouldn’t do any of the stuff Rhino’sHoney wouldn’t do, with the addition of anal sex.

I wouldn’t give up a friend or family member unless s/he was openly hostile to my So.

I wouldn’t cut my hair, because I really like it long.

I wouldn’t sacrifice my principles.

I third Rhino Honey’s wouldn’t do the 4Ps and second Branwen’s I wouldn’t do the anal sex thing. I certainly wouldn’t sacrifice my principles either.

I wouldn’t give up a friend and I would not ask my SO to do so either. We’ve had some toxic friends that we dumped mutually but I wouldn’t ask him to give up his friends just because I didn’t care for them. I would simply ask that he see them without me.

Really if your SO is pressuring you to do something that you feel that strongly against and they know how you feel… they’re probably not a good SO for you.

I agree.

Wow, this is turning into an oddly painful thread for me.:slight_smile:

Oh my gosh… Branwen I am sorry :frowning: Major hugs {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Branwen}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

No pees or poos, that’s for sure. And I just could never, ever, try analingus (sp?) the whole thought just grosses me out. You can get e-coli from an undercooked burger and you want me to do WHAT??

I’m not sure I’d want any other guys involved, whether threesome or orgy setting. I love the beauty of a woman, but I don’t really want to see another guy in a sexual context…locker room, fine. Banging my girlfriend?? Nope. Banging ME?? Nope!!!

And Rhino’sHoney covered a good bit of common ground for me, too.

hugs branwen from me too.

I too know all about unhealthy relationships :frowning:


Well, we finally found something Tanookie won’t do. :stuck_out_tongue:

For me, it’s pretty much the same territory that most of you have already covered. I’ve never been in a relationship I felt secure enough about that I think an extra person would be a good idea. (I have good reasons to feel that way. I’m twice divorced.) If I ever DO find myself in such a relationship, I might consider it. I’m not even sure whether I’d have a preference as to the sex of the third. It would definitely be interesting to watch two women, together, but I think that might actually be more threatening to the relationship. I can compete with another guy, but I can’t offer what a woman can.

I also don’t do pain, really well. I’m willing to inflict it, up to a point, if that’s what she wants. But, I draw the line at breaking skin or risking permanent damage. And, no, thanks, I don’t care to be hurt. Some other lifetime, perhaps.

Humiliation? No, not for me. If it turns her on, sure, I’ll oblige. I think, though I’ve never had to test this, that I’d be okay with peeing on a woman, if she enjoyed it. I would not be okay with being peed on, Poop? No. Nasty.

But, that’s not to say anal sex is out. There’s no connection between the two, if done properly (And, no significant risk). And, I like butts more than I like boobs. But, I don’t know if I’d want to let her do it to me. I guess I would probably try it, if she really wanted to, and it was a solid relationship.

What else? Friends? No, I wouldn’t give up a good friend. I’d probably give up the relationship, if an SO asked me to give up a good friend, because that would be proof she was wrong for me.

Currently, I won’t go to visit my SO’s family. The last time I went, which was several years ago, her Dad insisted on taking my picture. This was despite repeatedly asking, then warning, him not to. He did; I left; I haven’t been back, since. She goes to see them; I stay home.

This one’s pretty far-fetched, but I wouldn’t give up all my worldly possessions for an SO, either.

I couldn’t give up my faith.
BIG part of who I am, means a lot to me.

Beyond that…I havn’t really been asked to do anything I’m not willing to do. irishfella and I operate on a very similar wavelength.

Couldn’t lie.

I’ve got this serious bugaboo about honesty in relationships.

No shit, no piss. No animals, no corpses of any kind, even pretend ones. No hurting where there’s broken skin or serious bruising. This is all just stuff I couldn’t be talked into sexually. Also, none of this.

As for other stuff, like principles and beliefs…

That sums it up for me too, tanookie.

I won’t let anyone put anything in the out hole.

Bah! All you anti-animal people. Don’t knock it till you try it - one night with an aggravated field mouse, and you’ll come around :wink:

Interesting - I have the opposite take on it. With my last SO, I was actually ok with her hooking up with another girl. Ideally it would have happened with me involved as well ( :wink: ), but I don’t think that’s a good idea for other reasons - and neither did she. She did tell me all the graphic details afterwards though :smiley: I know that while I can’t offer what another woman can, that other woman sure as hell can’t offer what I can, either - I don’t see us as competing for the same thing. It’s like salty food and sweet food, so to speak - it’s just different.

Another guy would bother me a heck of a lot more, but I have a lot of issues with that anyway - I’m about as non-competitive as you can get (unless of course I’m on a bike - but that’s a different story), and if another guy is in the picture, I’m going to assume she’ll like him more, and basically bow out. Why this is I don’t know… there’s no practical reason in the world I should feel this way - yet I do. Don’t know how to change it either. I envy the confidence you seem to have :wink:

Well, as I alluded to above, I wouldn’t do a threesome with another guy. I wouldn’t do a threesome with another girl unless my SO suggests it first. I know this is a double standard, but what can I say?

I agree with the pee/poo/corpse thing - no way in hell - if she’s into that, she needs someone a heck of a lot more freaky than I’m willing to be. My last SO was always teasing me about “vomit porn,” that really doesn’t sound appealing either. As for anal sex and strap-ons, well, let’s just say I’ll try anything once :wink: My last SO said if I wanted to do that to her, I’d have to let her do it to me first. Never took her up on it, but now I wish I had - it’s left me curious :eek:

And of course, I have to agree that anyone who repeatedly asks me to significantly compromise my values, or to give up things I hold dear, will only hear squealing tires from me, and nothing more.

Well there are a lot of obvious answers here like go on killing sprees, etc.

I’ll second this. There is no amount of lube in the world that could change my mind. No anal penetration. Ever. I dated a guy for months who really wanted to do that with me. I told him the more he asked me, the less interested I became. He eventually stopped asking me about it. I guess he thought somewhere deep down inside, I secretly wanted to have any part of his body lodged in my anal cavity, and with the right amount of coaxing, I’d give in. He thought wrong.

I wouldn’t get part of myself amputated for anyone.
I wouldn’t intentionally hurt any previous partner of mine on request of my current one either.

That’s about it:
everything else by negotiation.

Ok pretty much everyone who’s mentioned it won’t do anal…

I am different - I will and I love it. I thought about it a bit before I did it the first time and felt that if I really hated it, then, well, I wouldn’t do it again. However, it was my suggestion to experiment the first time.

And I loved it. I have to say I wouldn’t do it with everyone but for sure will do with Rhino… he was a little surprised at me liking it but is cool with it and wants to - and I’m good with that too.

Seems I’m in the minority here though lol… oh well…

I wouldn’t change my religious affiliation, or lack thereof. I wouldn’t even be ABLE to. Not really, not deep down.

There is very little I wouldn’t do for my love. Hell, I had full intentions of killing a man for her once, although thought better of it later. Long story… it’s in here, somewhere, if you’re that curious.

I have no principles in the traditional sense, so that doesn’t bother me.

Sexually, I’m open to try anything she would like. She don’t like much, so no worries there.

I would have a problem if she told me it was my friends or her. And I’ve got good friends she really don’t like… but we care enough about each other to do things like put up with the bad to get the good.

Beyond that, I’m easy like a Sunday morning.