I think all of us would do things we aren’t thrilled about in order to make our loved ones happier. But will you do something you absolutely despise when asked to? Not something that violates your ethics, just something you loathe.
I hate smooshing spiders, because it’s a bad thing to do, but I’ve done it repeatedly for my fiancee when asked.
Of course! it’s called … “Yeees Dear…”
Well, there are a couple of dishes that I absolutely hate.
If she were to cook them, I wouldn’t eat them. But I can’t imagine her expecting me to?
And if she really liked some clothing that I found especially uncomfortable - like a turtleneck, I probably wouldn’t wear it (even if it might get me laid!) But I usually like the fit and look of the clothes she likes.
What kind of things did you have in mind?
Usually it isn’t a matter of doing things I hate, but instead, just doing something I ordinarily wouldn’t, that wasn’t my preference, etc.
If she wants to go to a show I really don’t want to see, I’ll suggest she go with a friend or one of our kids. No reason she should drag me along and risk having me detract from her enjoyment.
Hmm, well, let’s see.
I hate doing dishes, I hate doing laundry, I hate vacuuming, sweeping, mopping.
I hate repeatedly trying to come up with ideas for dinner when I get the response of “Oh I don’t know, I’m not really hungry yet” answer from him and the kids when I ask what they want for dinner.
I hate scrubbing out the cubboards, I hate cleaning the toilet, I hate getting the hair out of the bathtub drain.
But because I love him (and the kids) I repeatedly do these things.
Why do you suppose I do that?
I’d walk thru hell with gasoline drawers on for my lady…
My husband is fond of a board game called Puerto Rico. I loathe it. It’s a resource-management and economics game (boooooring). There are no spatial elements (something I tend to be good at.) The key to success is thinking several turns ahead (something I tend to suck at) and screwing over the other players as much as possible (…let me just say, that’s not my favorite tone for a game.) But he and his friends love it. And it plays much better with three player than two, and marginally better with four players than three. So I play it with them.
Part of the reason that I despise it is that I’m completely awful at it. It doesn’t help that the hubby and his friends have played it so much more than me and at least one of them is a far better strategic thinker than I am. And, really, it’d have to be a pretty freakin’ amazing game for me to enjoy playing despite the fact that I come in dead last every. goddamn. game.
It’s a very widely acclaimed game, so it’s possible that if I “get” it, I might like it. I’m treating it like an intellectual challenge, a difficult mathematical or scientific problem to solve. I’ve downloaded some strategy guides to study and I’m trying to be analytical and dispassionate about it. My goal isn’t to win, it’s to understand the game better and incrementally improve my play.
All that said, there are plenty of games that we both find stimulating, challenging and enjoyable, so I’m still hoping that he’ll get over this Puerto Rico phase soon.
You mean like go to her family reunion (otherwise known as the answer to the question “What has 60 feet, 12 teeth, and an IQ of 200?”)
Or the godawful music festival where a bunch of self righteous old hippies and wannabes wallow in their own filth for three days while listening to music that George W. Bush officially banned from being played at Gitmo on the grounds of “Some things are just too cruel”?
Done it (although I’ve now been relieved from music festival duty)
We need a better definition of “hate,” here. Part of loving someone is doing things you don’t enjoy to make them happy. (There should be some reciprocity, of course, not expected or demanded, just done out of love on their part, as well). But I am not sure where the line is drawn between the disagreeable and the hated (although Podkayne makes a good case for one example).
If I lived alone, I’d have to clean the place, so I don’t see it as being a lot different. As to meals: I simply don’t give them the option. If no one puts in a request for a dish (which I might veto or postpone, anyway, given the constraints of time and energy), I simply select the menu. I figure, since I’m doing the work, I get to make the selections. Anyone who dislikes my choices can have peanut butter. Deb understands that a failure to request a dish leaves the selection to me, so I don’t recall that she has ever had to eat peanut butter. (Actually, despite some grumbling, the kids tend to eat what I cook, as well. Daughter has chosen to dislike fish, so she gets smaller portions, (drowning my subtle dishes in hot sauce), but she has the appetite of a teen boy, so she does not pass on much else.) I figure that now that both kids are in their teens, if they really want to override my menu, I would be willing to let them do the cooking–a choice they routinely do not make.
I tried calamari. If that doesn’t say love, I don’t know what does…
I haven’t been able to think of anything I really hate that he’d ask me to do. However, I truly loathe going to church, and for Grandma’s sake I drag my ass there on Easter Sunday. If I’d do something I hate for Grandma, I’d do something I hate for my husband. But I’d probably do my best to talk him out of it first!
There’s not much that will COMPLETELY piss me off, but there are things that annoy the shit outta me and I do them anyway:
Going to the hardware or tool store with him. He looks in every little nut & bolt drawer. He fiddles with the tools. He tries stuff. That’s all normal. The problem is he wants me to care about it. He calls me over*…“hey Kalhoun! Check this out! Isn’t it the best hex wrench you’ve ever seeeeeeen?”* or *“What do you think of the finish on these washers?” * I mean, really… Then I’m forced to sigh and roll my eyes, and then we get into an argument because I’m not embracing the hardware. What. EVAH.
He’s forever asking me to hang out in the garage with him while he works on the car. I don’t mind that, except he doesn’t talk to me. He’s concentrating on whatever he’s doing and he’s incapable of conversation.
I’ll go to a car show with him occasionally because I can look at the artistic side of automobiles where he’s interested in under the hood stuff. That’s not too bad.
Yes I would . Have done so many times. As they say , love conquers all.
Darn. Why can’t I find a guy like that???
jsgoddess - did you have something specific in mind?
Kalhoun, get revenge. Make him go shoe shopping with you!
Okay, well maybe housework doesn’t matter much to some, but I hate it. I would rather gut animals (and have) and butcher deer in my kitchen (and have). There is just something about the mind-numbing drudgery of daily housework that has to be done by me (since no one else seems to see or care about the mess) in order for everyone to stay healthy, that just makes me homicidal at times. I’m not talking about a squeaky clean house either…we have 3 dogs and 3 cats, it’s never gonna be that clean.
Other stuff that I hate doing, but do anyway? I ran the place while he was gone with the army for 18 months, did a mighty fine job and was still here with house, kids, dogs, cats etc. when he got back. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is
Of course I would. What a silly question…
Well, not so silly. The OP states “as a favor.” I would do something I hate because I love her, not as a “favor.”
No, I wouldn’t eat dog poop. Even if she said she’d divorce me.
Yes, I would sit in the mall for 30 minutes during a football game while she tries on bras.
Something inspired the question, but it wasn’t really a specific question. Just a matter of “I hate doing this but I will do it because X wants me to.” Not needs, but wants.